Me, ISO Encouragement, Suggestions and/or Stories

fyffer · Post by **fyffer** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 9:59 am

Very OT, but I'm looking for a coupl'a "attaboy's" and the like:

I'm throwing a suprise 40th birthday party for my wife this Saturday, and expecting about 70 guests. It's potluck (though a slightly organized potluck on my part so I don't get 40 veggie platters and 12 lasagnas), and I'm providing all beverages (soft and hard). Without me going into too many details (I'm bored to the bone with providing the details to all involved), has anyone ever done this before? What might I be missing or forgetting? Anyone have any success/horror stories in this regard? Anyone just wanna tell me, "Aww, ain't you sweet", or "She's gonna kill you," or anything like that?

TIA.

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:04 am

I voted No, because of the ASD. Those of us with ASD don't like scheduling surprises and don't like large groups of people (even people we know). But that shouldn't influence you.

It's what your wife likes, and presumably you understand some of her likes and dislikes. IMO most women would enjoy a surprise party much more than most men. I'm sure it will all go well.

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:08 am

Thinking over that...

the male recipients of Surprise Parties (that I know of) were expecting a quiet night in - and most of them would have preferred that.

If you conjure up some tedious chore (not a real one, you understand) that your wife is expecting to do on the day and time of the party, then she will be relieved as well as delighted.

chrisoff · Post by **chrisoff** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:11 am

Been to one surprise party and it was a hit. It was a leaving do for a couple and they were both pleasantly shocked when they opened the door of the nightclub to be greeted by party poppers and all their friends standing there shouting "Surprise!".

As Bystander said it helps if you know what they like. We had their favourite drinks going round in champagne flutes, another friend DJing with their favourite songs and some local musos onstage doing acoustic songs they'd like.

chrisoff · Post by **chrisoff** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:16 am

I will say one thing though, and that's be careful with the lies you have to tell to cover it up. The guy we suprised had got a bit annoyed at the lack of people going out for his leaving night and it became very hard for his escorts to prize him away from his flat and the alcohol contained inside.

Cue all of us standing around for ages, getting slowly drunk, while wondering where the hell he'd got to.

Perhaps if we'd been less convincing or arranged to meet him later so he had a reason to leave and be near the club then it would have been easier.

avanutria · Post by **avanutria** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:39 am

I had a surprise party thrown for me when I was 10 or 11, and it was a hit - though my mom knew me very well and kept it small, as I don't like crowds. If you think your wife will enjoy it then I'm sure it will be a success.

I figured it out about 30 seconds before walking in the door (it was at my house) because my best friends had come over to the house with me to play but when we got there their mom's car was already in the driveway, lol.

Don't forget cameras or videocameras as she may be interested in seeing her own initial reaction after the event. And on the off chance that she doesn't react the way you expect, don't make her feel bad about it. I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought and effort you've put into this!

Atta boy!

chrisoff · Post by **chrisoff** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:57 am

Oh and be careful if you're planning it with her best friend not to end up in a situation from The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hand_T ... rise_party

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:38 am

I would HATE a surprise party!

If people are coming over, I want to know who, how many, when, and for how long. How long do I have to tidy up the house before they descend upon me? How many guest towels do I have to put in the bathroom?(meaning there's that many extra towels to wash later!) When are they leaving so I can have some peace and quiet!!!!

I really don't like mobs of people underfoot. (my definition of a "mob" is "more than the 3 people who actually live here."

Of course, everyone is different. Hope your wife enjoys it.

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:38 am

edited to remove double post. My computer is so slow I can't always tell if it's doing anything!

A-Musing · Post by **A-Musing** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:13 pm

I think of my wife, the two cats and myself as a bustling, over-the-top crowd. Maybe I'll just up and yell "SURPRISE!!!"

attaBOY!!!

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:49 pm

Aww, ain't you sweet! Hope it alls goes off as planned and that she is a thrilled by your efforts as you could hope.

fyffer · Post by **fyffer** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 9:19 pm

My biggest issue is the 48 hours between her actual birthday (2/1) and the party (2/3). She's getting a relatively modest gift from me, and we're going out to dinner, but that's it as far as she knows. I think she expected something big, and there will be two days of disappointment before I hit her with the shindig. Luckily, we're both very busy those two days, so I should be OK. I hope.
Let me warm up the couch for Friday, just in case ....

cowtime · Post by **cowtime** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:09 pm

Just be sure that whatever you tell, that the excuse will involve her dressing in such a way that she would normally do to go to a party. I say this because I am not a clothes person but I would definately not want to end up at a party in old ratty clothes and everyone dressed nice.

Last year my cousins threw their dad a suprise 80th birthday party. He told them he was taking them to a play at the theater so they would be "fixed up", as they would want to be for such a gathering. He also told them about the party before they got to the site- 100 or so folks yelling suprise to someone that old could have dire consequences. At least you don't have to worry about that.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:04 pm

I was involved in a couple of surprise parties long ago and the people seemed to really enjoy and appreciate them. I think there was a smallish one for me once at work and I liked it a lot.

I think you would know by now if your wife wouldn't like a surprise party. For a fortieth birthday it seems like a really suitable big splash.

I don't know how you are going to make sure your house is clean enough for company without your wife wondering about things---probably you are people who have a tidy house normally. I guess I would advise you to make sure the bathrooms are really, really clean. That is the one thing that I would be thinking about in the back of my head if a bunch of people suddenly showed up---how clean are the bathrooms?

I really do think it is a very sweet idea and I know she will too. That is a lot of planning, she will appreciate all the things you had to think about. I'm not sure what to suggest about the two days interval---that is sort of a sticky problem. If the restaurant is quite nice and you are very charming I should think it would be okay. Like, you know, you will be emphasizing how happy you are to be with her, etc. Be romantic.

avanutria · Post by **avanutria** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:28 am

I suppose during the two day interval you could volunteer to clean the bathrooms as a birthday gift

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