Tom Cruise=Jesus!?

jkwest · Post by **jkwest** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:15 pm

HAHA!!!

That is great!

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:16 pm

fearfaoin wrote: Oprah:
So, you are Tom Cruise,
The great Thomas Cruise!
Your love for Kate you must vouchsafe:
Jump up on my couch and rave!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrzIaRwAMvc
Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:37 pm

[cussing practice]
Tom Cruise! What was that?
Tom Cruise! Whaddaya want from me?
Tom Cruise! Cut me some slack, will ya?
Tom Cruise! Now what?
[/cussing practice]

Sorry. It's just not gonna work.

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:48 pm

Cynth wrote:[cussing practice]
Tom Cruise! What was that?
Tom Cruise! Whaddaya want from me?
Tom Cruise! Cut me some slack, will ya?
Tom Cruise! Now what?
[/cussing practice]

Sorry. It's just not gonna work.

The problem is his name doesn't have enough syllables, so you can't really put stress on the words. Try this:

Tom Freaking Cruise! What were you thinking?

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:59 pm

Wanderer wrote:The problem is his name doesn't have enough syllables, so you can't really put stress on the words. Try this:

Tom Freaking Cruise! What were you thinking?

I like this. I believe it works.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:02 pm

emmline wrote:
Wanderer wrote:The problem is his name doesn't have enough syllables, so you can't really put stress on the words. Try this:

Tom Freaking Cruise! What were you thinking?
I like this. I believe it works.

Until he can levitate or heal the bodhrán players, I'm sticking to the traditional expletives, thanks. His name upon my tongue - echhhhh. Gack. Pthbbt.

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:11 pm

emmline wrote:
Wanderer wrote:The problem is his name doesn't have enough syllables, so you can't really put stress on the words. Try this:

Tom Freaking Cruise! What were you thinking?
I like this. I believe it works.

He was born Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. See if you can't work that in somewhere.

djm · Post by **djm** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:18 pm

What the Cruise is wrong with you people? Can't you get one simple Thomas thing right? What the Cruise is so difficult about applying a simple concept to everyday language?

Who is this honky Mapother, anyway? Sounds like an internal error on Map Quest.

djm

Congratulations · Post by **Congratulations** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:26 pm

djm wrote:What the Cruise [...] ?

I will use this. It is incredible.

Oh, my goodness! What in the world?? = old and busted
WTC? = the new hotness

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:30 pm

fearfaoin wrote:I think it's time for Andrew Lloyd Weber and Tim Rice to start work on Thomas Cruise, Superstar.

Katie Holmes:
Try not to get worried
Try not to turn on to
Engrams that upset you
Oh, Don't you know
Your thetan will soon become
Totally free!
And we want you to sleep well tonight
...

Ok, this part kills me...

Psychiatric patients:
My Seratonin levels are far too low,
Let me see bunnies running through the fields.
I believe you can make me whole...
Don't let me end up like Brooke Shields!
Will you touch, will you mend me Cruise?
Won't you touch, will you heal me Cruise?

Thomas Cruise:
Heal yourselves!
...

John Travolta:
I don't want your blood money!
Matt Stone:
You might as well take it, our ratings are good!
John Travolta:
I don't need your blood money!
Trey Parker:
We saw Battlefield Earth, so we think that you should.
...

Oprah:
So, you are Tom Cruise,
The great Thomas Cruise!
Your love for Kate you must vouchsafe:
Jump up on my couch and rave!
...

etc.

Matt Damon:
My mind is clearer now...
At laaast, I can tell, Woo should've given
Mission Impossible to me...

If you strip away...
The myth, from the man
He can't act his way out of a tree...

CRUISER!!!!!!!
You've started to believe
the things they say of you!
You really do believe!
And Kate believes it too!!!

djm · Post by **djm** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:32 pm

That's the spirit. Its not what you say but how you say it. "Thou shalt not swear" is all about attitude, not grammar.

djm

anniemcu · Post by **anniemcu** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:40 pm

Wanderer wrote:
Cynth wrote:[cussing practice]
Tom Cruise! What was that?
Tom Cruise! Whaddaya want from me?
Tom Cruise! Cut me some slack, will ya?
Tom Cruise! Now what?
[/cussing practice]

Sorry. It's just not gonna work.
The problem is his name doesn't have enough syllables, so you can't really put stress on the words. Try this:

Tom Freaking Cruise! What were you thinking?

TOMmee Cruise! works alright though.

buddhu · Post by **buddhu** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:43 pm

Content deleted.

It contained nothing positive or helpful.

djm · Post by **djm** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:45 pm

I liked Vanilla Fudge, too .... or was that Sky?

djm

mamakash · Post by **mamakash** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 9:17 pm

Tom Cruise is a good actor and I enjoyed his earlier works . . . before he went insane. There are treatment plans for his medical condition but they involve psychiatric drugs and he won't take them. But don't worry. He's not a danger to us, only himself and his credibility. Which allows Family Guy to do this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG1acThWFno