Acts of kindness in the midst of bickering

Lizzie · Post by **Lizzie** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 11:21 am

A couple of days ago, I asked on another thread for help in transcribing a piece of music which was giving me trouble.

I receievd two offers to actually do that transcription. Here were two people both offering to give of their time and experience to help out another whistler.

I was really touched by these offers to help a stranger.

So while some may be indulging in petty bickering, others are restoring my faith in humankind.

My grateful thanks to them both and to so many others who regularly offer help and advice.

There are so many good folks here!

Loren · Post by **Loren** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:00 pm

Careful Lizzie,

If you look closely around here, you might find that some of those same people who do much of the "bickering" also do much of the helping out......

Loren

Lizzie · Post by **Lizzie** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:14 pm

You are quite right, and when they do, I am very appreciative....I just don;t like to see bickering and old sore spots given new life.....I run a list myself, and I hate it when it happens on my list, MAybe I am just a Pollyanna! BG

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:20 pm

No, Lizzie. You are just a kind hearted person who doesn't enjoy that kind of adversity. Nothing wrong with that at all.

You will probably live a long happy life.

Gary · Post by **Gary** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:35 pm

One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was too old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly.

Then, a few shovelfuls later, he quieted down completely. The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovelful of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of everyone.

The Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to stop wailing, and not let the dirt bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred.
Free your mind from worries.
Live simply.
Give more.
Expect less.

PhilO · Post by **PhilO** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 12:50 pm

Since I've been on this Board, I've met people who have:

Offered to send me flutes to try out

Sent me flutes to try out over an extended period

Sold me high end whistles at more than fair prices and sent them to me to try out first even before they knew me; these whistles are my favorites and that individual was truly happy at how happy the whistles have made me

Given me hours of advice with respect to specifice whistle experiences, music, music software, etc

Given me instruction as to how to successfully disinfect my computer from a virus

Traded and bought whistles from me without a single moment of unease or displeasure

Given me helpful feedback re all manner of things

My negative experiences with people on this Board are as follows:

Zilch, zero, nada, 0

I really like it here:D

Regards,

Philo

Lizzie · Post by **Lizzie** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 1:03 pm

Ok, I don't like dirt..... and griping and wailing and nastiness...Guess I have to learn to live with it..I can always just leave it be....I was just trying to inject a bright note amidst the recent dirt.

Phil, those were just two examples of the kindness and help I have received here....there is way, way more good than bad.

PhilO · Post by **PhilO** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 1:53 pm

Lizzie - Glad you brought up the topic. The petty bickering is tiresome and silly, but we don't have to read it. We also need to be careful to distinguish from that honest differences of opinion which can sometimes reflect some passion, as well as plain old fun and ironic sometimes irreverent references (George Carlin is a very important person in my household). Take care and regards, Philo

Lizzie · Post by **Lizzie** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 2:16 pm

Phil, it probably bothers me more than some others...I saw petty bickering turn into downright nastiness on my own list once...nearly spelled the end of the list....so now I don't allow flaming and people are told to take grievances private,,we have peace.
Now.....honest debate conducted with respect....that is a horse of another colour!

Kim in Tulsa · Post by **Kim in Tulsa** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 4:35 pm

I really like it here:D

Me too! The people on here have always been nice to me, although they might rib me a bit about "It's a Small World" or they slag my living room decor...

Kim

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 4:44 pm

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I really like it here:D

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I concur. Lots of nice people here, lots of interesting and helpful information. Good fun.

Chuck_Clark · Post by **Chuck_Clark** » Sat Oct 05, 2002 9:31 pm

Well, gee!

Didn't you guys ever wonder why some of the older members have followed this silly BBS for several years through many addresses - to the point where sometimes we wondered where C&F was staying this week?

Thanks to Rich's generosity, this has been a period (and a server) of unprecedented prosperity - and stability. It took a lot of stops to get here, though.

_________________
"Still 'round the corner there may wait a new road or a secret gate.
And though we pass them by today, tomorrow we may come this way
And take the hidden paths that run toward the moon and to the sun."

-J.R.R. Tolkien

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Chuck_Clark on 2002-10-05 23:32 ]</font>

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Sun Oct 06, 2002 12:40 pm

Lizzie, there's a fine line between good natured mockery (with a serious underlying point) and well-meant teasing, on the one hand and offensive remarks on the other. Different people have different thresholds which makes it even harder to pitch your comments. I haven't been here long but I'm already very good friends with a couple of people I started out mocking (good-naturedly) or who started out mocking me. I also annoyed a couple of people (unintentionally.) The longer I stay here, the better I'll know the thresholds of people I'm talking to and the easier it will be to pitch remarks better. I also think there's a lot to be said for only dishing out what you yourself can take—part of being a reasonable person and covered by the nobody is special clause.