my Christmas letter

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Walden
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my Christmas letter

Post by Walden »

Dear father Christmas,

I know you get lots of lists of things that people want for Christmas. I thought I'd go the short route and list some things I don't want.
  • I don't want...
  • War
  • An Austin Powers movie
  • Injustice
  • Botox Cosmetic
  • Famine
  • Tickets to Riverprance, or anything starring Michael Flatley
  • Sickness
  • A tattoo
  • A cyclonic storm
  • Pokemon
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Walden
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Post by Innocent Bystander »

So an anti-cyclonic storm would be okay, then?
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Post by djm »

Its down-at-the-mouth, negative consciousness like this that leads to fewer gifts being given, smaller donations to charities, fairies with stunted wings, and lumps of coal and old potatoes in your Christmas stocking (trust me on this last one).

There is no angle you can try on Santa that he hasn't seen a thousand times before. Is it so much harder to just be a good boy for Christmas?

I agree, it is far too hard. Feck'em all, I say! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! :twisted:

djm
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Post by jsluder »

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Post by chrisoff »

I don't want socks from my gran...
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Post by Nanohedron »

Dear Santa:

All I want are no leaks or squeaks, no autocrann, no gunk on my flute keys, no deathgrip or dyspraxia, and no curious onlookers trying to engage me in a conversation when I'm playing.

Pipes or cittern I might understand, but I can't do it, and I've had people try to talk to me when I'm playing flute, fercryinoutloud. Madness.

I don't think even you can do the world peace thing, so I'll settle for the above. Thanks in advance.

Sincerely,
Nano
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
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Post by Congratulations »

What's an autocrann?
oh Lana Turner we love you get up
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Post by Congratulations »

Oh, and Santa? I'd like some keys on my Hammy.

Thanks in advance,
Congrats
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Post by Nanohedron »

Congratulations wrote:What's an autocrann?
A rat-a-tat gurgle in the bell note of the uilleann pipe chanter. Often it means that the reed's lips have closed up some. Sometimes it's just the reed, and sometimes it's just the chanter, and exhausting all known remedies like reed adjustments, rushes, or bag pressure, there's sometimes not much you can do about it. We hate autocrann. We hate it much.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
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Post by djm »

More like a rapid walla-walla-walla, or think of the girl with the machine-gun laugh. Its not a nice sound. Not nice at all. Gracious!

djm
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Post by Nanohedron »

djm wrote:More like a rapid walla-walla-walla, or think of the girl with the machine-gun laugh. Its not a nice sound. Not nice at all. Gracious!

djm
...or also like the famous Elmer Fudd vibrato when he's singing, but on steroids. It's horrid.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
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Post by izzarina »

Nanohedron wrote:no curious onlookers trying to engage me in a conversation when I'm playing.
I want to not want that one too.
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Post by Joseph E. Smith »

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is your promise that Santa isn't an anagram for Satan.
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Post by Nanohedron »

Joseph E. Smith wrote:Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is your promise that Santa isn't an anagram for Satan.
Well, wouldn't that be convenient.

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"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
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