Who would win...?

[lenf]

In a battle between Chuck Norris and Mr. T, who would win?

Mighty Mouse!

[Wanderer]

In a battle between Chuck Norris and Mr. T, who would win?

Mighty Mouse!

Mighty Mouse couldn't even beat Nancy Reagan...what hope does he have versus the wonder twins of manliness?

[djm]

I didn't vote, either. Nobody wins when you refuse to allow two people of Norris' and Mr. T's calibre to disappear quietly into the night.

djm

[Nanohedron]

I didn't vote, either. Nobody wins when you refuse to allow two people of Norris' and Mr. T's calibre to disappear quietly into the night.

djm

Heh.

[gonzo914]

What does dinner have to do with this, I ask you? You're changing the topic again!

Also, how are you two coming along on finding me a fiddle? Listen . . . I'm doing really well with my cardboard-and-yarn practice model . . . Geeeee Deeeeee Ayyyyyy EEEEEEEEE.

I think the real wool strings are what makes the difference.

Good thing you sent that pony, too, Gonzo! I was able to make a bow out of his tail . . .

Have you filled out the Chiff and Fipple Financial Aid application? It is absolutely de rigeur if you are trying to pander a fiddle. Here's a copy; just fill in the blanks send it to National Educational Testing Services, Chiff and Fipple Division, Princeton, New Jersey.

Name: ________________________________________________

Scientific Name: ______________________________________________

Date of Birth: __________________________

Residence: (City, town, or nearest holler) __________________________________________________________

Sex (Check all that apply): Daily ____ Weekly _____ Monthly _____ Mammals ______ Not terribly particular _____

Financial aid requested: ________________________________________

Total Income derived from busking last year _______________________

Total Income derived from sock puppets (unless you are a sock puppet)__________________________

Total income derived from selling crap on Ebay ____________________

Percentage of income spent on cigarettes and alcohol _______________

Percentage of income wasted on necessities ______________________

List Irish traditional instruments played (digerees don't count) ________________________________

Number of Irish traditional tunes you can play (Amazing Grace and Danny Boy do not count) __________________________

Have you ever played any of the following on the whistle (Check all that apply) It's a Small World _____ Theme from The Titanic _____ The Song that Never Ends _____ Stairway to Heaven _____ (And are you ashamed of yourself?)

Can you play Swallowtail Jig? Yes _____ No _____

If yes, do you? Yes _____ No _____

If yes again, why? ____________________________________________

If granted financial aid, do you promise not to sell it on Ebay? Yes _____ No _____ Maybe _____ Only if I need cat food _____

Do you advocate the overthrow of the government of Chiff and Fipple by force or subversion? Force _____ Subversion _____

If granted financial aid, will you invite gonzo and nano to your house and ply them with liquor? Yes _____ No _____ Jesus Christ, No! _____

Once your application is received, a commitee of Chiffers will be convened to review it as soon as Dale can find enough committee members who are sober enough to read it.

P.S. You will find the pony's tail makes a better bow if you detach it from the pony. It will grow back.

[Nanohedron]

If granted financial aid, will you invite gonzo and nano to your house and ply them with liquor? Yes _____ No _____ Jesus Christ, No! _____

I should point out that this is an important question.

Hint: ply me.

[dfernandez77]

Couldn't Chuck and this T guy just talk over their differences. It's much more manly to walk away from a fight, and I think Jesus would want them each to turn the other cheek because that's what he would do. You'd never see Jesus wearing cowboy boots or gold chains; he would give them to the poor. I'd like to see Chuck Norris walking on water or Mr. T feeding the multitudes with just one fish and a matzo cracker.

Can I have some of what you were drinking yesterday please?

[lenf]

Can I have some of what you were drinking yesterday please?

Hmm...you'd have to ask sooner, I expect. Solids are digested in 24-48 hours or so, but liquids are passed much, much faster.

[Lambchop]

If granted financial aid, will you invite gonzo and nano to your house and ply them with liquor? Yes _____ No _____ Jesus Christ, No! _____

I should point out that this is an important question.

Hint: ply me.

Only if you promise to wear that luscious yellow t-shirt . . .


Thank you for mentioning that, Gonzo. The pony had been getting irritable . . .

[gonzo914]

If granted financial aid, will you invite gonzo and nano to your house and ply them with liquor? Yes _____ No _____ Jesus Christ, No! _____

I should point out that this is an important question.

Hint: ply me.

Only if you promise to wear that luscious yellow t-shirt . . .


Thank you for mentioning that, Gonzo. The pony had been getting irritable . . .

Poor gonzo -- he has nary a yellow t-shirt, let alone a luscious one. And hence, he shall not get plied.

This reminds me of an old saying --

I wept because I had no luscious yellow t-shirt until I met a man who had big drones.

It was either Chief Joseph or Franklin Pierce or maybe Paddy Moloney who said it; I can't remember which.

[Tyler]

I'd like to see Chuck Norris walking on water...

Well if you'd stick around long enough....geeez! It's not our fault you always leave before Chuck gets to the miracles portion of his act. He always follows the asswhuppin portion of his act with miracles...duh!