Are you happy?

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:48 am

Best wishes,
Jerry

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:53 am

I like James' answer. You really need to appreciate those in the moment things. As for happiness over the course of a lifetime--I think it's like the stock market.

Something I've found I can do (and couldn't when I was younger,) is sort of operate on a split-personality basis. There's the me who is experiencing the day-to-day hassles, the difficulty of illness in family members, the hard stuff as well as the fun stuff, and then there's the me who can kind of stand back from that and be an observer of my own life, recognizing that it's all a game in a way, and that being stuck in the doldrums, when they occur, is a temporary condition.

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 8:16 am

I have never been very good at the kinds of transcendental happiness that is induced by philosophy or Jesus, preferring instead the more tactile happiness brought on by chili and smoking.

fiddleronvermouth · Post by **fiddleronvermouth** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 9:28 am

I'm happy. I had to shake things up a lot to get to this point though. I tried a lot of stuff. Different cities to live in, different jobs, different relationships, different styles of music, etc. Eventually I found the perfect city to live in. I can't help but be happy here.

Also, learning tai chi and playing music with friends as often as possible enhances my happiness.

I get down sometimes, but not often. Before I moved here I was ridiculously depressed. I remember vividly what that was like, so every day I don't feel that way I have this euphoric sense of having gotten away with something devious, like robbing a bank.

I also have faith (but no religion.) I agree with James that's helpful if you're after a deep and lasting peace instead of the giddy sort of glee you get from an ice cream cone.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:10 am

I'm chronically ill and I can't walk very well. I had to call in to work and class yesterday because I fell in the shower. It's difficult to be happy like this. So no, I'm not happy.

BUT--I put it in perspective and I know I'm just a spoiled brat. Even though I have to use a cane some days, I have life better than about 5,000,000,000 other people in the world.

BillChin · Post by **BillChin** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:14 am

I have suffered from life-long bouts of depression, so the pat answer is no I am not a happy person. I am unlearning a lifetime of bad mental habits and have reached a sense of peace. The blue bird of happiness remains elusive.

Dennis Prager wrote a tremendous book on the subject, "Happiness is a Serious Problem." He also devotes one hour a week (Friday 2nd hour) to the subject. I like Prager's analogy of body odor. That unhappy people that inflict their unhappiness on others are like people that do not take the time for personal hygiene and inflict it on others.

Prager goes on to explain that each of us has an obligation to be as happy as we can be. That happy people do more good in the world, that happiness is contagious as is the opposite.

If I could wave a wand of happiness, the one habit that is most corrosive is the complaining habit. Every one knows people that take every opportunity to b*tch, to complain, to find fault. Almost everyone occassionally will fall into that mode.

The complaining habit is one of the most destructive things a person can do against their own happiness and those around them. It has taken me years to unlearn the complaining habit, and it has brought me to a more peaceful place than I have ever been.

chrisoff · Post by **chrisoff** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:55 am

I'm happy. Today has been fantastic. Woke up beside my girlfriend, walked into town and bought some DVD's in the virgin sale, watched the army march down Aberdeen's main street to get the Freedom Of The City (normally this would aggravate me but it was the to honour the new battalian of The Highlanders from the new regiment of Scotland and was to renew the honour originally given to the Gordon Highlander's whom my Grandfather was a part of and are now amalgamated into the new regiment)

And then after all that I went out for a ride on my bike for 2 hours in some of the best weather we've had this year. halfway through I stopped to eat an apple and took some pictures:

And now I'm watching the football with a beer before going for some fish and chips and then going to catch some bands later on. All in all I'm in a pretty good place right now

brianormond · Post by **brianormond** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 3:40 pm

-I'm more concerned with satisfaction than happiness. I can go to the grave content with the former, but am not so sure about the latter. Achieving latte' takes care of former and latte'. (groannn..)

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:29 pm

It seems I don't allow myself contentment or satisfaction except briefly. But the issue of speaking about such things is in how you put them in context. For example, am I content in my domestic situation? Very much, yes. Am I content in my music, or in my personal character? Not really. There's more to be done, is my thinking. The good points, such as they may be, aren't sufficient, although I may be perfectly happy with them. Growth can't happen in something when you're content with where you're at. But there's nothing wrong with contentment; it's just not for me. That's how my paradigm goes.

Happiness, on the other hand, is something else to me and elusive to qualify. Day-to-day-wise, happiness just comes and goes, like frustration, anger, sleepiness, romantic feelings, or anything else. But there's a bigger sense to the word, too: am I happy overall? I'm not unhappy, if that makes any sense. I used to be pretty unhappy, so that's a plus I'll take any day.

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:48 pm

I used to participate here a lot but about 2 years ago, my life started to get choppy and I got away from the music and a lot of stuff. Pretty much got buried in work and all of the developments there. And there have been many, let me tell you. When I saw this thread, I was compelled to post.

I'm in a strange spot right now. My wife moved out late last year and we're getting a divorce. We still care very much for eachother but we don't want to be married any more. We drifted apart but we are still good friends. She is a wonderful woman.

Our house is on the market and empty. We bought her a loft condo in December and I moved back in with my parents a few weeks ago. The house got wierd and sad to live in. Now everything I own is in the bedroom I live in and in a 10x13 storage shed with plenty of room left to walk around. I even threw away almost all of the stuff that I have been dragging around since I was a kid. What I have left of that fits in a medium sized box. It's actually liberating, getting rid of everything. I only wanted a few pieces of our furniture and she took most of it. (wasn't my taste, really) We sold what was left inside of 3 days.

In addition, at the same time a series of big events will lead to the end of my employment. I'm set to be out of my career which I've been at for over 20 years. I have been tired of this for a long time and have always felt that I should be doing something else. (So think most folks who know me) That should take place in the fall. I'm 39. Basically I feel like I have let go of of my old life. Indeed it is going and nearly gone. I'm about 6-7 months into this transition.

Am I happy? Aside from being a little bit bored the answer is yes. I am very happy. It's like being in limbo right now and some days really suck but I am building the groundwork for my next step. When my house is sold, divorce is final and my job is done I will leave this city where I have lived my whole life and head out. The first thing I am going to do is go walkabout. I am going to go over to Australia and take a 1000 km walk in the wilderness. There is a fantastic trail in the Southwest called the Bibbulmun Track. That is where my new life is going to start.

I don't plan to return here to this city. I want to find another place to live. I have some ideas... I've seen people try and hold onto what they have or try and get something back from the past that was good. I don't think that brings happiness for long.

Best,
Paul

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:57 pm

Paul wrote:I've seen people try and hold onto what they have or try and get something back from the past that was good. I don't think that brings happiness for long.

I think you're right.

Thanks for the post. Hope to see more again, some day. All the best to you.

missy · Post by **missy** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 5:10 pm

I just got back from a week long music camp. My husband, his daughter, and my son went with us. We spent the week with 350 other musically involved people.

I am tired, I've got a lot of catching up to do both in the house and I'm sure at work.

But I am happy.

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 5:10 pm

I had to give up teaching eight years ago because of arthritis. I always cycled to work, 22 miles a day, in all weathers and seasons. Riding a bike in the fresh air (of which we have a lot round here) was one of my greatest joys, but that is now in the past. However, I was in a good pension scheme and my wife of 30 years still brings home the bacon (she's a teacher too). And I'm lucky in that I'm still capable of going for a good brisk walk, and there's some peerless walking round here. We don't really understand money except when the bank writes to tell us we're spending theirs, not ours.

So we don't save up, except to buy lots of bottles of red wine when the good stuff's on special offer. I have a half-acre garden and it's a toss-up in any given year whether Mother Nature will get the upper hand over me. But she's a benign winner when she wins (except for that bloody grey poplar which I now severely regret planting). I have cats and a toad. I can't tell you how important that toad is. Well, and my greenhouse with its ever-burgeoning tomato crop as from any day now.

What's good: my wonderful wife and grown-up kids. Where I live. The free Doom Bar when I play in the Tree Inn on Fridays. My unique house, an ivy-clad oasis in the middle of nowhere with its sparrows, wrens, blue tits, chiff-chaff , robins and mistle thrush.

What's bad: the idiots running my country. My bad knee, wrists and finger joints. My weight. The bloody British climate (except today - all Brits will know what I mean!). Extremely ancient people purposely driving their cars at 18mph in front of me. My attitude to extremely ancient people purposely driving their cars at 18mph in front of me.

What's both good and bad: red wine, and lots of it.

So am I actually happy? I get one shot at this bloody life, and I'm damned if I'm going to spend it indulging in misery. I'd be even happier if I thought that we could all spread a bit more happiness into places where the God of those who believe in him appears to be temporarily not in residence, such as Gaza, Zimbabwe, Baghdad, Kandahar and the England football team's hotel...

Tyghress · Post by **Tyghress** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:18 pm

I am happy overall.

Things that make me happy:

a nice weather day doing exactly what I please
my two jobs, and the people I work with
watching my parrots play, and my cats play...but not with each other
playing a tune well in front of people
my mother's smile
finishing a project...nearly any project
seeing a meteor
doing a random act of kindness -- especially if I don't watch the results
cooking something new and different, and having it taste great!
seeing something wonderful that I know no one else will see
having a plant bloom -- or seeing sprouts in spring
the first snow fall of the season
whiskey
seeing a friend
almost anything with mango in it on it or with it

This list could go on....

djm · Post by **djm** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:27 pm

I like it when a news article comes up at the right time. It means I don't have to think. I just believe the <A HREF="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ ... home">news article. </A>

djm