A remarkable alliance

SteveK · Post by **SteveK** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:19 am

Them Toad Suckers

How 'bout them toad suckers, ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin' them green toady frogs!

Suckin' them hop toads, suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.

Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog frogs sure make's 'em happy!

Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!

How to be a toad sucker, no way to duck it,
Get yourself a toad, rear back, and suck it!
-- Mason Williams

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:21 am

SteveK wrote:Them Toad Suckers

How 'bout them toad suckers, ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin' them green toady frogs!

Suckin' them hop toads, suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.

Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog frogs sure make's 'em happy!

Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!

How to be a toad sucker, no way to duck it,
Get yourself a toad, rear back, and suck it!
-- Mason Williams

Ahem...nothing like a good, upliftin' bit of poetry....

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:23 am

How to sex your toad?

This gives descriptions of male & female toads, common european variety.

This on the other hand, has a more practical approach.

This is much the same, but with hyperlinks.

Thank you Steve. Now I now how to sex my toad.

Now I just have to find a toad...

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:30 am

Innocent Bystander wrote:How to sex your toad?

This gives descriptions of male & female toads, common european variety.

This on the other hand, has a more practical approach.

This is much the same, but with hyperlinks.

Thank you Steve. Now I now how to sex my toad.

Now I just have to find a toad...

I'll look for its nuptial pads. I lost a lot of girls in my youth by saying to them "Wanna come up and see my nuptial pad?" Can't think why...

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:45 am

I sure wouldn't tickle that toad's belly if you want it to keep coming and visiting you! It might be better to remain in doubt about the sex.

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:48 am

Cynth wrote: It might be better to remain in doubt about the sex.

Yep. Why change after 55 years?

djm · Post by **djm** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:09 am

Turn your hand so the toad is right-side up in relation to the ground. Use your middle finger to stroke or tickle the toad's belly. If the toad croaks, you have a male. If it does not, you've got a lady.

When I was unable to drive due to my cast, I would occassionally find myself staring out the window at my beloved SUV, making little horn noises. Having read the above sexing method there can no longer be any doubt about it: I AM A TOAD!!!!

djm

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:28 am

djm wrote:
Turn your hand so the toad is right-side up in relation to the ground. Use your middle finger to stroke or tickle the toad's belly. If the toad croaks, you have a male. If it does not, you've got a lady.
When I was unable to drive due to my cast, I would occassionally find myself staring out the window at my beloved SUV, making little horn noises. Having read the above sexing method there can no longer be any doubt about it: I AM A TOAD!!!!

djm

What kind of sense does this make? Male toads may croak when you stroke their bellies, but that doesn't mean anyone who makes a sound is a toad!! I guess what I'm saying is, and I don't want to know the answer, that you seem to have left out what was being done to your belly while you were looking out the window.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:28 am

djm wrote:
Turn your hand so the toad is right-side up in relation to the ground. Use your middle finger to stroke or tickle the toad's belly. If the toad croaks, you have a male. If it does not, you've got a lady.
When I was unable to drive due to my cast, I would occassionally find myself staring out the window at my beloved SUV, making little horn noises. Having read the above sexing method there can no longer be any doubt about it: I AM A TOAD!!!!

djm

... little horn noises... now that's just plain funny!

Post by **Nanohedron** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:33 am

Toads be cool.

I hear that the latest scientific wisdom is to lump frogs and toads together, but as far as I'm concerned, they're plenty different.

I was once playing my flute outdoors during a work break, and a toad wandered by. He stopped and oriented himself (herself? I kept it all platonic, so I don't know to this day) to me, and appeared to be listening while he just sat there. Then he appeared to remember something -that he was out in the open and vulnerable to hungry things, likely- and continued on his quest and into better cover. I wager no frog would have such sensitivity.

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:00 am

I've just come out of my greenhouse. There was a very young toad messing around just where I wanted to plant my cucumbers so I lifted it gently out of the way and had a little word with it. My cat was in on all this too but she wasn't at all interested. I thought the compost heap would be a better location for the toad. Plenty of good toad grub lurking in there. Beats fighting wars any day!

hyldemoer · Post by **hyldemoer** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:29 pm

Congratulations wrote:
izzarina wrote:
SteveShaw wrote:I doubt whether any toad-snogging will ensue somehow. I will report back!
I'm really not all that sure if I want to know if you do any toad-snogging, Steve

On the contrary, I want pictures!

I want a clever little song commemorating the relationship and perhaps the possible outcome.

cowtime · Post by **cowtime** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:50 pm

A few years back we had a very dry summer with little rain.

A smart, brave little toad decided to take up residence in one of my elderly skye terrier's runs. I discovered him when I went to change the water in Moon's bowl and a little toad face was looking up at me. The next day, there it was again.

As the summer wore on, I realized that he was living in the run with the dog. If he wasn't in the bowl he was nearby and Moon seemed to like him. I could find him every day if I looked and I missed him when he finally left to follow his toad life when fall rains finally came. I missed him. I think Moon missed his little buddy too.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:04 pm

hyldemoer wrote:
Congratulations wrote:
izzarina wrote: I'm really not all that sure if I want to know if you do any toad-snogging, Steve

On the contrary, I want pictures!
I want a clever little song commemorating the relationship and perhaps the possible outcome.

I love a toad, s/he lives in the hill
"It does not bode," Mum says, "but ill."
But I do not care. Care not, do I:
For s/he is fair, with warty eye
And warty limb and warty snout.
If it's a Him or Her I doubt
My love will fade on such a trifle
As gender. Spade or hoe may stifle
Toadly lives and toadly haunts,
Toadly wives and husbands and aunts;
And daw may peck, and serpent swallow,
But sure as heck, I'm going to follow
My warted pet thro' thin and thick,
And if s/he should get unwell or get sick
I'll make up a little toad-healing pill
Of insects, our spittle, and aspergil
And s/he'll be fine, and then we'll dance
And I'll put him-or-her into my pants
Pocket so s/he can be snuggly and safe
While the both of us loll in sun, and stay if
Weather permits. Not that s/he'd care;
S/he's a toad, after all, and is normally bare
In conditions fine and conditions rude.
My toad is mine, and that is good.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:55 pm

Say, I mentioned your toad to a friend and she wondered if you have a light on at the door. She says toads come to lighted areas because they find insects there. In other words..........it may not be you Steve, it might be the bugs.