Poetry: Another Chance (Contest)

Post by **Dale** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 6:11 am

Walden wrote:
FJohnSharp wrote:Did we ever announce a winner? 'We' meaning Bloomfield.
Are you a part of Bloomfield?

There's a little bit of Bloomfield in all of us. Don't you think?

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 6:13 am

Dale wrote:There's a little bit of Bloomfield in all of us. Don't you think?

I've no idea in all the land of Goshen what that means, but it sounds wise.

FJohnSharp · Post by **FJohnSharp** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 6:45 am

Dale wrote:
Walden wrote:
FJohnSharp wrote:Did we ever announce a winner? 'We' meaning Bloomfield.
Are you a part of Bloomfield?
There's a little bit of Bloomfield in all of us. Don't you think?

This was my exact thought, as I waited for the page to turn.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 6:48 am

So, hungry minds simply MUST know, who are the winners (... or whiners, in my case

)?

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 10:37 am

Joseph E. Smith wrote:So, hungry minds have simply MUST know, who are the winners (... or whiners, in my case )?

I think it all imploded. I ruined everything with my late entry. O fickle muse!

jim stone · Post by **jim stone** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 1:28 pm

fearfaoin wrote:Speaking of Ophelia, and poetry:

Hamlet: The song

There was this King, nodding in his garden all alone,
When his brother in his ear poured a little bit of henbane,
And stole his brother's crown and his money and his widow,
But the dead King walked and got his son and said, "Now listen, kiddo:
I've been killed, and it's your duty to take revenge on Claudius;
Kill him quick and clean, and tell the nation what a fraud he is."
The kid says, "Right, I'll do it, but I'll have to play it crafty,
So that no one will suspect me, I'll put on that I'm a dafty."

So for all, except Horatio -- and he counts him as a friend--
Hamlet -- that's the boy -- he pretends he's 'round the bend;
And because he's not yet ready for obligatory killing,
He tries to make his uncle think he's tuppence off the shilling.
Gets a rise out of Polonius, treats poor Ophelia vile,
Tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Denmark's a bloody jail;
And a troup of traveling actors, on flight 784,
Arrived to do a special one-night gig in Elsinore.

Hamlet, Hamlet, acting balmy,
Hamlet, Hamlet, loves his mommy,
Hamlet, Hamlet, hesitating;
He wonders if the ghost is fake, and that is why he's waiting.

So Hamlet writes his own scene for the players to enact,
So Horatio and he could watch to see if Claudius cracked.
The play was called "The Mousetrap" -- not the one that's running now --
And sure enough the king walked out before the final bow.
So, Hamlet's got the proof his uncle gave his Dad the dose --
The only trouble being now that Claudius knows he knows;
So while Hamlet tells his mother her new husband's not a fit man,
Uncle Claud takes out a contract with the English king as hit man.

And then Hamlet kills Polonius and conceals the corpus delecti.
That's the King's excuse for an English hempen necktie
Sends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to make quite sure he got there,
But Hamlet jumped the boat and put the finger straight on that pair.
When Laertes hears his Dad's killed in the bedroom by the arras,
He comes running back to Elsinore, toute d' suite, hootfoot from Paris;
And Ophelia, with her Dad killed by the man she was to marry,
After saying it with flowers, she committed Hari Kari.

Hamlet, Hamlet ... no messin'!
Hamlet, Hamlet, learned his lesson,
Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick's crust
Convinced him all men, good or bad, at last must come to dust!

Then Laertes lost his cool, and demanded retributions,
The King says, "Keep your head, and I'll supply you with solutions."
So he arranged a swordfight for the interested parties,
With a blunted sword for Hamlet and a sharp sword for Laertes.
And to make double sure the old belt and brace was lined,
He fixed up a poison swordtip and a poison cup of wine.
The poison sword got Hamlet, but Laertes went and fluffed it,
'Cause he got stabbed himself, and then confessed before he snuffed it.

Then Hamlet's mummy drank the wine, and as her face turned blue,
Hamlet said, "I think this King's a baddie through and through!"
"Well, incestuous, murd'rous, damned Dane!" he said, to be precise;
Then made up for hesitating once by killing Claudius twice:
For he stabbed him with his knife and forced the wine between his lips,
And then he said, "The rest is silence," and he cashed in all his chips.
They fired a volley over him that shook the topmost rafters,
And then Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happy ever after.

Hamlet, Hamlet, end of story,
Hamlet, Hamlet, very gory,
Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm on my way,
And if you think that was boring, you should read the bloody play!

There's something rotten, rotten
To which we do not cotten
In the noble state of Denmark by the sea.
There's something ghastly, ghostly
That we do not dig the mostly
In the noble state of Denmark,
Yessiree!

The king is dead, long live the king!
we said, and him interred.
But now that king of which we sing
Has took us at our word.
And though he's simply rotten
Through Elsinore he's trotten
Wreaking havoc on the royal family,
In the noble state of Denmark by the sea.

Stolen from Mad Magazine (which long ago did a
musical version of Hamlet).

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 2:50 pm

Bloomfield is still meditating over who the winner(s) are. It's a collaborative process, and we all know what committees are like. But we think we've managed to schedule a meeting at which to discuss who shall provide the draft agenda for the meeting in which we will set the rules of deliberation for the adjudication of the poems. Oh, and we might as well tell you now: It's possible that we overrun our budget.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 2:53 pm

Bloomfield wrote:... It's possible that we overrun our budget.

.... I think my heart just skipped a beat....

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 3:04 pm

Joseph E. Smith wrote:
Bloomfield wrote:... It's possible that we overrun our budget.
.... I think my heart just skipped a beat....

Yeah. You know a shameful play for bribes when you see one. I say we all stand our ground, and we'll soon see who among us is the most hopelessly corrupt.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 3:06 pm

emmline wrote:
Joseph E. Smith wrote:
Bloomfield wrote:... It's possible that we overrun our budget.
.... I think my heart just skipped a beat....
Yeah. You know a shameful play for bribes when you see one. I say we all stand our ground, and we'll soon see who among us is the most hopelessly corrupt.

Hear, hear!!!

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 3:08 pm

Joseph E. Smith wrote:
emmline wrote:
Joseph E. Smith wrote: .... I think my heart just skipped a beat....
Yeah. You know a shameful play for bribes when you see one. I say we all stand our ground, and we'll soon see who among us is the most hopelessly corrupt.
Hear, hear!!!

*plays "I Have No Money"*

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 4:38 pm

Bloomfield wrote: It's possible that we overrun our budget.

Take whatever you need out of petty cash. You know where Dale keeps it -- in that old cigar box under the couch, hidden beneath the Enya CDs. Just leave a little note so he'll know how much you took.

dfernandez77 · Post by **dfernandez77** » Sat Jun 17, 2006 5:15 pm

Bloomfield wrote: It's possible that we overrun our budget.

What? You forgot to budget for the traditional Irish beverages?

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 5:25 pm

No, really, decisions? Anyone? Bloomster? Decisions?

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 5:30 pm

Joseph E. Smith wrote:No, really, decisions? Anyone? Bloomster? Decisions?

JES...we could always seize control of this enterprise and declare "the People's Winner."