An Irishman, An Englishman and Claudia Schiffer

flanum · Post by **flanum** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:12 pm

AN IRISHMAN, AN ENGLISHMAN AND CLAUDIA SCHIFFER

There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia
Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train
going through Tasmania.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it
was an old style train, there were no lights in the
carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a
really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer
and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had
happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face
as he had been slapped there.

The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have
kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me
instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must
have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman
and got slapped for it.'

And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next
time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another
kissing noise and slap that English basmati again!'

Post by **Nanohedron** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:17 pm

Heeheeheeheehee.

MarkB · Post by **MarkB** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:42 pm

MarkB

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:17 am

Meanwhile the Scotsman was walking into a bar.

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:01 am

That's pretty good but the responses would have been better if the roles of the Irishman and Englishman were reversed.

"OMG this is racist!!!" That would have been a lot funnier than the joke.

BrassBlower · Post by **BrassBlower** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:21 pm

Two Irishmen walk past a pub. Yes, it can happen!

rorybbellows · Post by **rorybbellows** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:40 pm

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar ,the barman says, Is this some kind of joke !!!

RORY

BrassBlower · Post by **BrassBlower** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:37 pm

rorybbellows wrote:An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar ,the barman says, Is this some kind of joke !!!

RORY

oleorezinator · Post by **oleorezinator** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:17 pm

rorybbellows wrote:An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar ,the barman says, Is this some kind of joke !!!

RORY

plus a dog, a blond, a priest, a nun, the pope, a rabbi. george bush, a grasshopper, 1 billion chinese, have i missed anyone?

I.D.10-t · Post by **I.D.10-t** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:24 pm

Why did this thread title make me think of a woman, a spaniel, and a walnut tree?

Post by **Nanohedron** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:48 pm

I.D.10-t wrote:Why did this thread title make me think of a woman, a spaniel, and a walnut tree?

I don't have a clue. Tell us.

I.D.10-t · Post by **I.D.10-t** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:52 am

Nanohedron wrote:
I.D.10-t wrote:Why did this thread title make me think of a woman, a spaniel, and a walnut tree?
I don't have a clue. Tell us.

Sorry, I guess the reference was a little more obscure than I thought. It is the beginning to an old mother goose rhyme. I can understand why it is probably not told that often. I guess that the rhythm of the words made me think of it.

A woman, a spaniel, and a walnut tree,
The more you beat them the better they be.

http://mothergoosetei.com/mg/htext/h0938.html

or here

http://nemendur.khi.is/berghall/nurseryrhymes.htm

flanum · Post by **flanum** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 8:33 am

An Irishman, An Englishman and Claudia Schiffer,
wanted to know which one was a chiffer...

buddhu · Post by **buddhu** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 8:44 am

oleorezinator wrote:
rorybbellows wrote:An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar ,the barman says, Is this some kind of joke !!!

RORY
plus a dog, a blond, a priest, a nun, the pope, a rabbi. george bush, a grasshopper, 1 billion chinese, have i missed anyone?

The horse...

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 10:27 am

buddhu wrote:
oleorezinator wrote:
rorybbellows wrote:An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar ,the barman says, Is this some kind of joke !!!

RORY
plus a dog, a blond, a priest, a nun, the pope, a rabbi. george bush, a grasshopper, 1 billion chinese, have i missed anyone?
The horse...

...and the parrot. The PARROT.

C'mon, guys. Don'tcha know how to tell a joke? Sheesh.