Local humor: you know you're from Arkansas when...

[peeplj]

• "How 'bout them Hogs" is a common phrase around your house.
  
  Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip."
  
  "Vacation" means driving to Hot Springs or maybe even Branson.
  
  You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
  
  You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example, "Well, Conway's only 20 minutes away."
  
  Up North to you means Missouri.
  
  The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
  
  You know several people who have hit a deer.
  
  Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
  
  Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
  
  You've seen your porch thermometer peak at 110 and drop to -10 (F).
  
  You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did you go to?"
  
  You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
  
  You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
  
  You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
  
  You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
  
  You know that cars left running in parking lots are unmarked Police cars.
  
  You know in your heart that Arkansas can beat Texas in football.
  
  You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
  
  All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, animal or grain.
  
  You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  
  You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, catfish, and Sweet Tea.
  
  You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.
  
  You went to skating parties as a kid.
  
  You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ranch and ketchup.
  
  You eat dinner at noon and supper at night.
  
  The local paper covers national and international headlines in one column, but requires six pages for sports.
  
  You think I-40 is spelled and pronounced "ah fahty."
  
  You'll pay for your kids' way through college unless they want to go to UT.
  
  You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.
  
  You know that you can't get anywhere without going through Little Rock first.
  
  You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
  
  You know what time to be home for curfew -- not because of the law, but because of the mosquitoes!
  
  You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
  
  You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.
  
  You know if another Arkansan is from the Ozarks, Northern, Central, or Southern part of AR as soon as they open their mouth.
  
  You know that Bill Clinton, Ted Danson's wife, and John Grisham are all from Arkansas.
  
  You failed World Geography in school because you thought Paris, London, Bismark & Nashville were cities in Arkansas (& they are)!
  
  You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
  
  You know what "Wooooo Pig Sooie" means.
  
  You have a back scratcher that runs on gasoline.
  
  The mosquitoes in your back yard are bigger than the airplanes at the local airport.
  
  You know what breeds of dogs you don't walk up on.
  
  You can tell from someone's voice whether "critter" means something to pet or something to shoot.

This was passed 'round at work and I got a kick out of it--though I'm not a sports fan, personally.

Have fun, ya'll.

--James

[fel bautista]

Ah, sweet tee-ah and pulled pork.. Nuthin could be finer...

[Walden]

• "How 'bout them Hogs" is a common phrase around your house.
  
  Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip."
  
  "Vacation" means driving to Hot Springs or maybe even Branson.
  
  You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
  
  You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example, "Well, Conway's only 20 minutes away."
  
  Up North to you means Missouri.
  
  The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
  
  You know several people who have hit a deer.
  
  Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
  
  Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
  
  You've seen your porch thermometer peak at 110 and drop to -10 (F).
  
  You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did you go to?"
  
  You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
  
  You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
  
  You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
  
  You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
  
  You know that cars left running in parking lots are unmarked Police cars.
  
  You know in your heart that Arkansas can beat Texas in football.
  
  You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
  
  All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, animal or grain.
  
  You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  
  You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, catfish, and Sweet Tea.
  
  You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.
  
  You went to skating parties as a kid.
  
  You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ranch and ketchup.
  
  You eat dinner at noon and supper at night.
  
  The local paper covers national and international headlines in one column, but requires six pages for sports.
  
  You think I-40 is spelled and pronounced "ah fahty."
  
  You'll pay for your kids' way through college unless they want to go to UT.
  
  You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.
  
  You know that you can't get anywhere without going through Little Rock first.
  
  You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
  
  You know what time to be home for curfew -- not because of the law, but because of the mosquitoes!
  
  You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
  
  You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.
  
  You know if another Arkansan is from the Ozarks, Northern, Central, or Southern part of AR as soon as they open their mouth.
  
  You know that Bill Clinton, Ted Danson's wife, and John Grisham are all from Arkansas.
  
  You failed World Geography in school because you thought Paris, London, Bismark & Nashville were cities in Arkansas (& they are)!
  
  You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
  
  You know what "Wooooo Pig Sooie" means.
  
  You have a back scratcher that runs on gasoline.
  
  The mosquitoes in your back yard are bigger than the airplanes at the local airport.
  
  You know what breeds of dogs you don't walk up on.
  
  You can tell from someone's voice whether "critter" means something to pet or something to shoot.

This was passed 'round at work and I got a kick out of it--though I'm not a sports fan, personally.

Have fun, ya'll.

--James

So... does this mean I'm from Arkansas?

[anniemcu]

It says I am, but I know I'm not... though My Momma was.

[chas]

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"

A guy from Arkansas has just started at an elite Northeastern university on a football scholarship. He still doesn't know his way around campus, so he stops someone and says, "Do you know where the dining hall's at?"

The guy replies, "Don't you know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition?"

The southerner says, "Oh. 'Scuse me, do you know where the dining hall's at, asshole?"

[peeplj]

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"

A guy from Arkansas has just started at an elite Northeastern university on a football scholarship. He still doesn't know his way around campus, so he stops someone and says, "Do you know where the dining hall's at?"

The guy replies, "Don't you know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition?"

The southerner says, "Oh. 'Scuse me, do you know where the dining hall's at, asshole?"

[missy]

well -

You know you are from Cincinnati:


Your idea of a three-way is chilli over spaghetti topped with cheddar

You know what goetta is - and you've eaten it

You hate Cleveland, but you don't know why, and you've never been there

You think Pete Rose and Marge Schott were railroaded
(God Bless that woman!)

You say "Please?" instead of "Excuse me?"

You think Northern Kentucky is part of Ohio

You've been to California, Wyoming, Coney Island, and Over-the-Rhine in one day

There are less than 100 murders a year, and you still think you're in Detroit

You think Dayton is a Third World country

What groundhog? It's the St. Patrick's Day parade leprechaun that forecasts how much longer winter will last.

Losing football teams draw more fans than winning baseball teams.

Indiana is about 20 miles away, but it takes about four hours to get there.

It's too cold in the winter, and too hot and humid in the summer, to ever stay outside for very long.

You drive to Columbus or Louisville to avoid the prices at the Cincinnati airport.
(which is in Kentucky...)

City council members hold debates on whether or not they should debate in the first place.

Tourists still flock downtown to catch a glimpse of cast members from "WKRP," even though the show hasn't aired on network television since 1984, and the show was filmed in LA anyway.

You ask lifetime residents where the President Taft house is, but they don't know either.

If you do something -- anything -- in public long enough, sooner or later it will be banned.

Your low-fat diet is never low enough to exclude Graeter's ice cream.

You get through winter listening to Marty and Joe's broadcasts from the grapefruit leagues.

Big Red Smokies are a ballpark treat, not cause to dial 9-1-1.

If necessary, the city could easily be sliced into two new cities: East and West, and it would take 20 years for anyone to notice something happened.

Chocolate and cinnamon, not peppers and beans, are in your chili.

You can drive 30 minutes in any direction to hear a different accent than your own.

You can accurately judge people's social status by which Kroger's store they frequent.

You can go to any church festival in any neighborhood on any weekend and see at least five people you either work with, went to school with, or dated.

Even the slightest mention of former baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti makes your blood boil and your ears steam.

If the temperature hits 45 degrees, and the sun comes out in any month between November and April, people walk around downtown wearing shades and no jackets.

The top stories on the local 6 o'clock evening news look suspiciously like the articles you read in the newspaper that very morning -- and even use the same quotes.

Any carbonated beverage is a "pop."

Your favorite convenient store sounds like a labor union.
(UDF)

You can't hear the words "Mike Brown" without getting angry.

You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall Fame.
(so???)

You have more stadiums, coliseums, and arenas than you know what to do with.

It doesn't seem weird to you that everyone has an Uncle Al.
(local kids TV show when I was growing up)

Your favorite Coney Island isn't in New York.

You like Nick Clooney better than George Clooney.
(Nick is George's dad)

You know how Jerry Springer got his start.
(city council!)

You know what a pony keg is.
(drive through)

You have friends and neighbors with names like Machenheimer, Guckenberger, Schlottman, Schoenling, and Schweitering.
(I have RELATIVES with these!!)

You know that cars (like eggs) are cheaper in the country.

An all-boys or all-girls school doesn't seem that odd to you
(proud graduate of Mt. Notre Dame - all girls, and oldest of LaSalle - all boys)

You think a mixed marriage is when an East Sider marries a West Sider.

You know the difference between Hudy and "Who Dey."
(beer vs. Bengals cheer)

You know what cream ale is, and you think that cream soda should be bright red.
(Little Kings vs. Barq's)

You think Kentucky is only slightly more civilized than Afghanistan.

You know in which state the Greater Cincinnati Airport is located.
(Kentucky)

You actually understand the word, "CRAVE" and white castle burgers.
(CRAVE is a case of 10 Whitie's)

You can almost name the seven "hills" minus one or two.
(Mt. Auburn, Mt Adams, Price Hill, Clifton, Walnut Hills, Mt. Airy, Western Hills......)