A bad word!

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:24 am

My spouse doesn't understand what I have against the word HOUSEWIFE.

It is true that I spent my children's most formative years without extraneous employment, and only within the past several years has it become financially necessary that I take my self-designation writer seriously in the sense that I need to make it pay.

But in the meantime, I took minimal interest in the activities that the terms housewife, homemaker, what have you, evoke--I think of those as being things like marinades, toilet bowl cleaners, family portraits, and aerobics class, and instead have focused on the following sorts of things:
family IT technician, carpentry/handyperson, bicycle repair and assembly, financial management, driving instructor, and of course, whistling, fiddling, and writing.

But it's still somewhat inexplicable how much the word HOUSEWIFE makes me cringe, and while I can arguably cast it off completely now, I wonder whether this is a particular idiosyncrasy of mine, or whether other people feel similarly.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:31 am

I voted anachronism.

That word belonged to an era where a family could survive on one income, a situation which is increasingly rare.

Also, it has built-in assumptions about who does the housework; since I am in the process of doing dishes and just taking a bit of a break from it as I write this, evidentally those assumptions are in error.

--James

rh · Post by rh » Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:41 am

i thought the new title was "Domestic Engineer"...

flanum · Post by **flanum** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:16 am

I always preferred the words "herself", "her indoors" ,"the boss" etc.

BTW im single.

susnfx · Post by **susnfx** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:17 am

It definitely takes me back to the 50s and women in housedresses. When I was a kid watching those idealized women in the tv shows back then, I somehow got the idea that if my mom would just wear housedresses, our family would be happy like the ones on tv. I even asked her if she'd wear them, but couldn't explain when she asked why.

Susan

hyldemoer · Post by **hyldemoer** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:20 am

rh wrote:i thought the new title was "Domestic Engineer"...

When I addressed my son as "Mr. Mom" recently because he quit his job to take care of his son so his wife could return to a job in IT, he corrected me by calmly telling me he was the same thing his sister is, a "stay at home parent".

Innocent Bystander · Post by **Innocent Bystander** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:26 am

Okay, here in the 12th Century, a housewife is a small kit of sewing thread, needles and thimble, possibly with a needle-threader (which I can never work out how to use). You sometimes find them in drawers in the more expensive hotels. They are very useful, especially if a button has worked loose, or there is a small tear that needs fixed.

Oh, and "Lady" means "bread-kneader". so I am the lady of the house.

I am told that that the other meaning of the word "housewife" is currently expressed as "Domestic Goddess".

MarkB · Post by **MarkB** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:53 am

Innocent Bystander stated:

here in the 12th Century, a housewife is a small kit of sewing thread, needles and thimble, possibly with a needle-threader

Heck I was issued one of the above when I joined the Canadian Army in 1964, it even had darning wool for socks and instructions on how to do it, and it to was called a Housewife!

MarkB

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:58 am

susnfx wrote:It definitely takes me back to the 50s and women in housedresses. When I was a kid watching those idealized women in the tv shows back then, I somehow got the idea that if my mom would just wear housedresses, our family would be happy like the ones on tv. I even asked her if she'd wear them, but couldn't explain when she asked why.

Susan

I do like this story.
It reminded me that when I was a little girl a had the impression that all women, once they reached a certain age---30 maybe--would have to switch to a hairstyle that was short or required being "set" at the beauty parlour. I remember thinking that I would have to someday find a way to skirt this requirement.

btw, I'm glad someone picked the last poll option. At least we're being honest here!

Redwolf · Post by **Redwolf** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:30 am

I'm a housewife and proud of it. Does it define everything I do? No. But neither does "computer programmer" define everything my husband does. That's the nature of titles.

Redwolf

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:52 am

I'm a househusband.

Tyghress · Post by **Tyghress** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:17 am

How about 'self-employed' 'domestic manager' or give yourself a promotion to 'domestic CEO'?

I always figured a 'housewife' actually took care of the house...I don't. The house happily putters along on its own, and I'm just along for the ride.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:37 am

I like to think of myself as a houselump.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:44 am

I think the problem with the word "housewife" is that the women doing that work when the term was commonly used, say when I was little, were not given credit by many people for doing a job as important as any other job. I clearly remember "housewife" being used in a derogatory way. I remember my mother being told she had done nothing during all those years. So, it is not hard to see why a person would not want a job title with those associations.

I cannot think of another word that is better though. The "home maker" thing and all the others just seem like transparent attempts to avoid the word "housewife". I am supposed to be doing the work of a "housewife". It is my choice. I am doing the most shameful job of it, and I have no excuses, believe me. I would be really thrilled if I had the discipline to take care of what I should be taking care of. The word "housewife" does still stick in my throat even though I wish it didn't. As it is, I would be pretty thrilled to honestly call myself a "housewife" instead of "slacker" which would more accurately describe my current position!

I think everyone should call him or herself what suits. But I also think that the word "housewife" deserves some real thought and polishing up and perhaps it can be used in a highly respectful way to describe a certain kind of honorable and noble employment that is hard to find another word for.

It is interesting that the term "househusband" does not seem to carry bad associations with it. I guess that is because men are calling themselves that, and not unproudly. It is probably also assumed that they could be doing something else if they wanted to. In the older days, it was assumed a woman couldn't be doing something else if she wanted to.

TelegramSam · Post by **TelegramSam** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:56 am

Housewife bugs me for some reason. Probably because of its similarity to "housepet" or something like that. To me, it sort of smacks of ownership, like the wife is just something that belongs to the house, like furniture or a washing machine or some other inanimate object to be used by the occupants of the house.

"Homemaker" on the other hand doesn't bug me, strangly, even if it technically means the same thing. At least it signifies an active role, rather than a passive one.

But I tend to get hung up on language and fine shades of meaning. Call it OCD or a personality flaw if you like.

As for "househusband" not having bad connotations, I'm not sure of that. I've heard it get more than a few snickers from working men. "Kept man" tends to be used in conjuction with it, and it tends to have the same sort of do-nothing "pet" feeling stuck to it.

Chiff and Fipple Forums

A bad word!

What I think of the word HOUSEWIFE:

A bad word!