Redneck Hillbilly Winter Olympics

Socializing and general posts on wide-ranging topics. Remember, it's Poststructural!
Post Reply
User avatar
cowtime
Posts: 5280
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2001 6:00 pm
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: Appalachian Mts.

Redneck Hillbilly Winter Olympics

Post by cowtime »

My brother teaches high school art and sent me this list of contests his students came up with for a "Hillbilly Olympics". Unfortunately I only have the list of events. These were the captions that went under the pictures they drew of their "games". Whoever came up with the six pack symbol - should get an A for the class.


I haven't decided my favorite yet- I'm torn between the girlfriend jump and riding the recliner on wheels.

Redneck Hillbilly Winter Olympic Games

Symbol is 6 pack plastic rings

1.Ride the shovel down a steep hill
2.Snowball fight
3.Moonshine chuggin’ contest
4.Pickled egg eatin’ contest (how many can you eat?)
5.Catch snow is a tin can contest (how many flakes can you catch?)
6.Drunk wrestlin’ after dark
7.The electric fish toss
8.Plaid T-Shirt –A Thon
9.Toss a squirrel contest
10.Whack a possum with a stick
11.Snow eatin’ contest
12.Country Music throwdown
13.Lawnmower pull
14.Pitch Fork Throw
15.Spitin’ Contest
16.Tire Fight (opponents throw old tires at each other and try to knock the other guy down)
17.Washer Slide (see who can slide an old washer down a hill the furthest)
18.Frozen Cow Patty Disc Throw
19.Cow Tippin’ Contest
20.Squirrel Chasin’ Contest
21.Banjo Tossin’ Contest
22.Biggest Explosion Contest
23.Cock Fightin’
24.Most Missin’ Teeth Contest
25.Drunk Banjo Pickin’ Contest
26.Hittin’ Rocks Contest (person rides wagon down hill into a pile of big rocks)
27.Rock Throwin’ Contest
28.Ride On a Goat Contest
29.The False Teeth Throw Contest
30.Inner Tube Race down a big hill contest
31.Chicken Egg Bowlin’ Contest
32.Man vs Tractor Pull on Ice Contest
33.Rope the Polar Bear Contest (you’re the winner if you survive)
34.Car hood Sleddin’
35.Lawnmower Sleddin’
36.Ice Fishin’ for Badgers
37.Penguin Sledding (ride on a penguin’s back as they slide down a hill)
38.Rockin’ Chair Race
39.Whack a Beaver hangin’ from a tree
40.Squirrel Hockey
41.Penguin Ropin’
42.Spittin’ in the Snow Contest
43.Moped Back-flip Contest
44.Keg Barrel Rollin’ Contest
45.Catch the Beaver and skin it Contest
46.Cut a tree down and make fire Contest
47.Beer Keg Toss Contest
48.Shoot Fish in a Pond Contest
49.Door sleighin’ (take the front door off your house and ride it down the snowy hill)
50.Snowman Huntin’
51.Hot Cocoa Chuggin’ Competition
52.Girlfriend Jumpin’ (contest skis down mountain and jumps over girlfriend standing at the bottom of the hill)
53.Ride a Walrus Contest
54.Bobbin’ for really Big Gold Belt Buckles
55.Redneck Debate Team (topic: Ford or Chevy?)
56.Cow Fights
57.Teeth Grindin’ Contest
58.Slushie drinkin’ contest: (first to die wins)
59.Cat Toss Contest
60.Bull Ridin’ on Ice Contest
61.Icy Tree Climbin’ Contest
62.Nascar on Ice
63.Campin’ Out for Gretchen Wilson Concert in the Winter Time Contest
64.Find the Pig in the Snowdrift Contest
65.Hide the Still before the Law Comes Contest
66.Hide in the Snow Contest
67.Road Kill Hockey
68.Recliner on Wheels Downhill Race
Image
"Let low-country intruder approach a cove
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
Top
User avatar
Walden
Chiffmaster General
Posts: 11030
Joined: Thu May 09, 2002 6:00 pm
antispam: No
Location: Coal mining country in the Eastern Oklahoma hills.
Contact:
Contact Walden

Post by Walden »

Hooooo-eee now ain't that a list!
Reasonable person
Walden
Top
User avatar
cowtime
Posts: 5280
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2001 6:00 pm
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: Appalachian Mts.

Post by cowtime »

Art Linkletter coined the phrase and he was right-

Kids say the darndest things.

But I'm whinin' to him, because I was to see the art work that went with these.
"Let low-country intruder approach a cove
And eyes as gray as icicle fangs measure stranger
For size, honesty, and intent."
John Foster West
Top
User avatar
missy
Posts: 5833
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 7:46 am
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Contact:
Contact missy

Post by missy »

well, at least most of THESE I understand and can get why someone does it (unlike curling).........

And there are quite a few I've already participated in!!!! :D
Missy

"When facts are few, experts are many"

http://www.strothers.com
Top
Jack
Posts: 15580
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2003 6:00 pm
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: somewhere, over the rainbow, and Ergoville, USA

Post by Jack »

I could not and would not whack a possum with a stick; likewise I would never tip over a cow or toss or chase a squirrel, or fight cocks.
Top
User avatar
jsluder
Posts: 6231
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2003 6:00 pm
antispam: No
Location: South of Seattle

Post by jsluder »

Whackin' a possum with a stick would be too easy. I say make it "Whack a skunk with a stick." :twisted:
Giles: "We few, we happy few."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
Top
User avatar
rebl_rn
Posts: 810
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2001 6:00 pm
antispam: No
Location: Southeastern Wisconsin
Contact:
Contact rebl_rn

Post by rebl_rn »

Jeff Foxworthy did a bit years ago about Redneck Olympics when the Summer Games were in Atlanta. My favorite part was the bit about the guys in the parking lot shooting the ceremonial doves!

(Sorry, Cran....I would never shoot them myself either but it was very funny)
Wash your hands. Cough and sneeze in your sleeve. Stay home if you are sick. Stay informed. http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu for more info.
Top
User avatar
Nanohedron
Moderatorer
Posts: 38239
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:00 pm
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
Tell us something.: Been a fluter, citternist, and uilleann piper; committed now to the way of the harp.

Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps.
Location: Lefse country

Post by Nanohedron »

missy wrote:well, at least most of THESE I understand and can get why someone does it (unlike curling).........
One does Curling because it is sublime.
"If you take music out of this world, you will have nothing but a ball of fire." - Balochi musician
Top
User avatar
Tyler
Posts: 5816
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:51 am
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
Tell us something.: I've picked up the tinwhistle again after several years, and have recently purchased a Chieftain v5 from Kerry Whistles that I cannot wait to get (why can't we beam stuff yet, come on Captain Kirk, get me my Low D!)
Location: SLC, UT and sometimes Delhi, India
Contact:
Contact Tyler

Post by Tyler »

Cranberry wrote:I could not and would not whack a possum with a stick; likewise I would never tip over a cow or toss or chase a squirrel, or fight cocks.
No bronze medal for you then!



Cowtime, (ROTFLMAO) you just made my whole day!!!
Thanks!

I gotta send this to a bunch of folks at the office here!
“First lesson: money is not wealth; Second lesson: experiences are more valuable than possessions; Third lesson: by the time you arrive at your goal it’s never what you imagined it would be so learn to enjoy the process” - unknown
Top
User avatar
missy
Posts: 5833
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 7:46 am
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Contact:
Contact missy

Post by missy »

DH says y'all forgot one:

12 oz. Curls
Missy

"When facts are few, experts are many"

http://www.strothers.com
Top
User avatar
Tyler
Posts: 5816
Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:51 am
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 8
Tell us something.: I've picked up the tinwhistle again after several years, and have recently purchased a Chieftain v5 from Kerry Whistles that I cannot wait to get (why can't we beam stuff yet, come on Captain Kirk, get me my Low D!)
Location: SLC, UT and sometimes Delhi, India
Contact:
Contact Tyler

Post by Tyler »

missy wrote:DH says y'all forgot one:

12 oz. Curls
and the heavyweight version...
40 oz. Curling!
“First lesson: money is not wealth; Second lesson: experiences are more valuable than possessions; Third lesson: by the time you arrive at your goal it’s never what you imagined it would be so learn to enjoy the process” - unknown
Top
User avatar
Dale
The Landlord
Posts: 10293
Joined: Wed May 16, 2001 6:00 pm
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: Chiff & Fipple's LearJet: DaleForce One
Contact:
Contact Dale

Post by Dale »

Cranberry wrote:I could not and would not whack a possum with a stick; likewise I would never tip over a cow or toss or chase a squirrel, or fight cocks.
You're totally missing out on the fun.
Top
User avatar
gonzo914
Posts: 2776
Joined: Thu May 16, 2002 6:00 pm
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: Near the squiggly part of Kansas

Post by gonzo914 »

They left out "Sail Kitties," too. There's a cat tossin' contest, but it's not the same thing. Sail kitties are to cat tossing as the discus is to the shotput -- a good sail kitty will go lots farther.
Crazy for the blue white and red
Crazy for the blue white and red
And yellow fringe
Crazy for the blue white red and yellow
Top
User avatar
missy
Posts: 5833
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 7:46 am
Please enter the next number in sequence: 1
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Contact:
Contact missy

Post by missy »

gonzo914 wrote:They left out "Sail Kitties," too. There's a cat tossin' contest, but it's not the same thing. Sail kitties are to cat tossing as the discus is to the shotput -- a good sail kitty will go lots farther.
Sail dogs go farther then sail kitties.......

Just don't try sail skunk!!!


( a dear friend and great storyteller, who passed away 2 years ago, had a wonderful story concerning "Sail Dogs".... RIP Chuck Larkin)
Missy

"When facts are few, experts are many"

http://www.strothers.com
Top
User avatar
anniemcu
Posts: 8024
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 8:42 pm
antispam: No
Please enter the next number in sequence: 10
Location: A little left of center, and 100 miles from St. Louis
Contact:
Contact anniemcu

Post by anniemcu »

WeeeeeeeHawwwwwww!

An if'n it don't snow none, we've got the 'hind of the 4X4 ski in the mud competition!

http://www.lilligren.com/Redneck/redneck_mud_ski.htm
anniemcu
---
"You are what you do, not what you claim to believe." -Gene A. Statler
---
"Olé to you, none-the-less!" - Elizabeth Gilbert
---
http://www.sassafrassgrove.com
Top
Post Reply

Return to “The Chiff and Fipple Poststructural Pub”