Wal Mart

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 3:22 pm

**********65 Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart **********

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Marco, Polo, see how many people you can get to
join.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

8. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly especially in thin aisles.

9. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in house ware," and see what happens.

10. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

11. Play with the automatic doors.

12. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along.

13. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this junk anyway?!"

14. Repeat #13 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm....I thought
the customer was always right!

21. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

22. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

23. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Bat cave."

24. TP as much of the store as possible.

25. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

26. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.

27. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

28. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

29. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerps)

30. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

31. Take bets on the battle from above.

32. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

33. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

34. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

35. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

36. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

37. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

38. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

39. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

40. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

41. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

42. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

43. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, it’s those voices again."

44. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

45. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

46. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without
getting kicked out.

47. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you
can make.

48. Smile mischeviously at different customers

49. Pretend your drowning in the plastic pools

50. Ask an employee for help and mimic everything he or she does or says.

51. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.

52. Put M&M’s on layaway.

53. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

54. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

56. Switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the restrooms.

57. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! Pick me!!"

58. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!"

59. Set up a card table in front of Wal-Mart with fake petitions, flyers, and "Vote for Pedro" buttons.

60. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

61. Make faces at the security cameras

62. Talk to your imaginary friend

63. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out

64. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

65. Go to the toy aisle and find the toys that talk when you squeeze their hands. See how many you can keep turned on at once.

Congratulations · Post by **Congratulations** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:16 pm

My high-school newspaper once had a few kids stay overnight in Wal-Mart, and one of them wrote an article on what they did.

It was apparently extraordinarily boring.

123454321 · Post by **123454321** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:29 pm

OH... I AM DYING

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 5:11 pm

I've done these already... got any more?

Denny · Post by **Denny** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 5:18 pm

So Paul, do you find that you have trouble getting a second date?

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 9:01 pm

I liked #4, Marco Polo, and #9, code3 in the warehouse.
I think I tried some of that other stuff when I was in Junior High.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 9:08 pm

I usually go to the store with somebody else. I'm used to saying, "Excuse us" when I accidentally bump into somebody else, because the other person is right beside me and it's clear that we're together (usually with one shared shopping cart).

Thus, it feels a bit odd on those rare occasions that I go alone (I don't like to shop alone) and I automatically say, "Excuse us" when I bump into somebody; people've looked at me as though I'm crazy (which we all know isn't true *wink*) before, or as though I'm hiding somebody else in my bag or under my shirt or something...

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 10:38 pm

Joseph E. Smith wrote:I've done these already... got any more?

Oh... I almost forgot.

Eat a great big bowl of blackbean soup about 30 minutes before you go.

Second date??

Doug_Tipple · Post by **Doug_Tipple** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:06 pm

On the same level as Paul's comments about interesting things to do at Walmart, I have a suggestion about other activities to occupy yourself at home. If you are feeling really bored, you can pick up your local paper and turn to the "for sale" page in the classifieds. Start calling the numbers and ask about items that are listed for sale. "Can you tell me how long you have had the Snappy mower?", for example. However, if you exhaust all possibilites in the classifieds, you can do what my friend does. She likes to call people in the country with her last name (an unusual ethnic name), as she was a refugee during the 2nd world war. Don't worry about the long distance charges for the calls. She likes to talk, and with 300 million people in this country, this is an passtime with no end in sight.

chas · Post by **chas** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:15 am

Joseph E. Smith wrote:I've done these already... got any more?

A friend of mine once got together with a bunch of other delinquents and they lined up on an escalator and all lifted themselves by their hands on the rubber belt handrail thingies. It stopped the escalator, and there was a woman behind them with a little poodle who peed all over her fur coat.

TelegramSam · Post by **TelegramSam** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 7:46 pm

66. grab packs of condoms and start throwing them in random carts - especially ones being pushed by little old ladies and parents w/kids.

BrassBlower · Post by **BrassBlower** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:23 pm

TelegramSam wrote:66. grab packs of condoms and start throwing them in random carts - especially ones being pushed by little old ladies and parents w/kids.

67. After you check out, push your cart to a nearby car (not yours), and spend as much time as possible fumbling for your keys. (At your own risk, of course!)

djm · Post by **djm** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:57 pm

Not so much for Walmart, but great for movie theatres: buy a tub of popcorn, take it to the restroom, and soak the popcorn in warm water from the tap. Return to balcony, make load vomiting noises, and pour tub of sodden popcorn over rail. Great for horror films.

djm

hoofbeats · Post by **hoofbeats** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:23 pm

I had some friends that played hide-and-seek in walmart. One of them built a fort in the toy aisle.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 5:28 am

Paul wrote:
Joseph E. Smith wrote:I've done these already... got any more?
Oh... I almost forgot.

Eat a great big bowl of blackbean soup about 30 minutes before you go.

Second date??

... now we're talkin'.

chas wrote:
Joseph E. Smith wrote:I've done these already... got any more?
A friend of mine once got together with a bunch of other delinquents and they lined up on an escalator and all lifted themselves by their hands on the rubber belt handrail thingies. It stopped the escalator, and there was a woman behind them with a little poodle who peed all over her fur coat.

... yes, yes..

GAWD I wish I was a teenager again... just for a day.