Bored with school (update)

Feadin · Post by **Feadin** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:55 pm

The only advice I've got is: Just follow your heart. I've always did that; I didn't finished the high school at the given time, I choosed to study other things and a few years later I did finally finished it... when te time was right to me. I feel that's the only important thing in our lives, to live accordingly to our own feelings and don't just do things because we're supposed to.
Sometimes it's not easy! But it's worth the effort, that's for sure.
So if you feel that you need some time for yourself, just take it! Your life is yours alone, it's both your freedom and your responsibility to choose your own path.
Who can say how many years will we live? No one. And personally I want to know that I lived the way I wanted to, doing what I liked to do.

And this is completely realistic. I have a nice job, and share every day with great people, I have time to study and practise music and whistlin', and to do many other things that I like

spittin_in_the_wind · Post by **spittin_in_the_wind** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 5:34 pm

I haven't read most of the other replies, but have a few thoughts. Sorry if they're a repetition of what others have said.

1. Do you have any outside activities at all? If not, it sounds like you need some. Even a part-time job could help a lot. It sounds like your classes are not that hard, if you are able to skip and maintain your grades, so a part-time job or serious volunteer commitment might help you get out of the rut.

2. Who is paying for your school (I assume it's college)? If it's you, just remember that you are paying for all those classes that you are missing. If it's your parents, remember how hard they worked to save up for you to attend those classes. Putting a dollar value on each class missed might give you motivation to attend.

3. It's not too much longer, just a few months. A little angst at the end is normal. Just remember, pretty soon you will be roped into the "no-excuses" world of regular employment, so consider this your last gasp at freedom. Other than the time you are in class, your time is pretty much yours to structure as you please. You have the choice of when to study, when to eat, when to sleep, etc. That ends when you get a regular job.

I guess all of this assumes you're in college. If it's high school, it's a different story.

Good luck!
Robin

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 5:40 pm

Feadin wrote:The only advice I've got is: Just follow your heart.

This is not always the best thing to do. The book of Ecclesiastes tells us that "the hearts of men are evil" (but not the hearts of women, of course

) and I agree--following our hearts is sometimes a very stupid thing to do. I speak from much experience--my heart bleeds and I wear it on my sleeve. Sometimes I just have to tell it to shut the f*ck up.

Feadin · Post by **Feadin** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:02 pm

Cranberry wrote:
Feadin wrote:The only advice I've got is: Just follow your heart.
This is not always the best thing to do. The book of Ecclesiastes tells us that "the hearts of men are evil" (but not the hearts of women, of course ) and I agree--following our hearts is sometimes a very stupid thing to do. I speak from much experience--my heart bleeds and I wear it on my sleeve. Sometimes I just have to tell it to shut the f*ck up.

Cranberry, I'm afraid you're confusing your heart with your mind

Our hearts don't talk, there's something already written on them.

edit: Mmm, replaced doesn't with don't, I guess it sounds better

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:24 pm

Feadin wrote:Our hearts doesn't talk...

Yes they does.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 1:51 pm

Henke wrote:I don't get that special feeling that I should get. I play it, and it barks out tunes in an effortless manner but there's no feeling, no joy, no passion when playing it. It might just be me. I just don't connect with it.

Henke, that's what you said about a McGee flute over in the flute forum. Could be that it's just not the flute for you, but . . .

If you had only posted about being unhappy and unable to muster up any interest in school, to the extent of being unable to get out of bed and just show up daily, I would have pegged this as plain old boredom with school, but in light of your comment about the McGee, it looks like this is not just confined to school.

It looks like this extends to other parts of your life, as well.

This is probably something you would want to talk to someone about. I know I would feel better knowing you had talked to someone about it.

Just discussing it with someone could do a lot toward alleviating it. Perhaps your school has a counselor or physician who can assist you. At the least, you can use them to help formulate a plan for making it through the rest of the year.

If you are a bit depressed, though, something can be done about it now, before it affects your life and future success.

I think that no matter what is causing this, you'll be doing something for yourself if you talk to someone about it. Certainly, it would be a Good Thing to do that and no harm could come from it.

Maybe, if you don't feel like talking to someone, you should just do it anyway? In case the bummed feelings are keeping you from thinking positively about it?

Sending good thoughts your way, Henke!

Henke · Post by **Henke** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 3:52 pm

spittin_in_the_wind, I have quite a few outside activities, hobbies and interests. I have an active social life as well. I think one of my major problems is that I have so much stuff going trough my mind. I often have a hard time focusing on important things. I have so many passions and interests that I need to devote time to.
To point 2, I'm in Sweden remember, I get paid to go to school

I don't get paid when I'm away from school this much though, so in a way, I'm loosing money.
3. Yeah, I know. The ropes are pulled tighter by the day. Demands increase and it's been doing that since first year in school. It's always difficult to see ahead, but you always look back at what was before and wish that you would have cherished the freedom you had then.

Lambchop, I see your point. It's difficult to analyse these sorts of things yourself. I think it has become a bit harder to find joy in some situations lately, but at the same time I do find great pleasure and joy in other things. I think I've just become very picky, and I think it might be because I've put myself in situations that I don't enjoy so much in the past. For example, I've been dating girls that I pretty much knew from the beginning that I wouldn't develop any real feelings for, and sometimes breaking out of these relationships after being very dishonest was difficult. So now I've become very picky, to the point that I almost chase after what I can't really have. Right now I'm into a girl who lives hundreds of miles away, she's into me as well, so that helps, but it's not going to be easy. I still find it hard to believe that I have some kind of depression.

Thanks again for all the support guys.

spittin_in_the_wind · Post by **spittin_in_the_wind** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:22 pm

I think you just have senioritis!

Robin

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Sat Jan 28, 2006 8:07 pm

Well that is a pretty well-known condition. I remember having a terrible case of "sophomore slump" myself.

I can laugh now, but.....

BillChin · Post by **BillChin** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 12:57 am

Henke wrote:...
I still find it hard to believe that I have some kind of depression.

Thanks again for all the support guys.

Henke,

Where to begin, with all that has already been said. Please accept or reject anything that I have to say, as each person's situation is unique. Some things I say may apply to your situation, others may be irrelevant. What you are describing may not be depression per se, but I believe there is some kind of sabotage going on.

For some people, there is a deep rooted fear of success. There can be any number of reason for that. For some it is learned behavior, that they get much more attention when they are hurt or need help then when they are strong and self-sufficient and doing well. For some this functions as an excuse as to why their life is not what they would like it to be.

A person might say, "I can get good grades if I wanted to, but I just don't want to." It can be complex. A person might make decisions, that add drama, some adrenaline, some tension, rather than what would be the common sense choice. The common sense choice can appear to be so boring that many people would rather have some undesirable excitement rather than acheive their goals.

There are two exercises I can suggest. Imagine if a close friend confided in you, with a situation similar to the one you are in. What might you tell that friend? What outcome would you want for that friend? The other useful question to ask is what are your options? If one of those options really is much more appealing than the others, the choice becomes that much easier.

Some secure thoughts are that this is temporary situation, possibly only a few months. This is something you can do step-by-step, day-by-day. The school term may seem very long, but if the goal is to make it to the next day, the next week, it becomes easier. Feelings will rise and fall and run their course, as long as you do not attach danger to the feelings. Feelings are not facts. Just because you feel like you do not have the strength to wake up, get dressed and get to school, doesn't mean that it is true.

I do not see any moral right or wrong in the choices you face. However, it is clear to me, that by bearing the discomfort of a few more months of school, you will have many more doors open to you than if you "stick your thumb in your *ss." Keep in mind, that your first career choice may or may not pan out. Decisions you make now can open or close a lot of doors for you down the road.

hoofbeats · Post by **hoofbeats** » Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:00 pm

Everyone has given such great advice that I have little to add, other than I'm going through the same thing. It's actually pretty common to feel this way, especially when you're so close to graduating. I urge you to talk to a counselor of some sort, it really can help more than you think.

That said, I'm making myself go to class tomorrow morning (though my alarm clock may suffer the consequences

), and I dare you to do the same.

Wormdiet · Post by **Wormdiet** » Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:43 pm

I hope this is a new wrinkle:

I am surprised that nobody has suggested regular meditation. It is completely harmless and involves no religious commitment whatsoever. (But it certainly can if that's your thing.) THe whole point of some (many) schools of meditation is to slow down the constant verbal chatter running through your consciousness. After a certain point, insights about what you truly consider to be important become much more apparent because that aren;t hidden by all the effluvia of aimless thought that is regular consciousness. I am emphatically NOT an experienced meditator, but I can relate a bit of experience here.

I've been divorced for about five years now. I was married to the only person I have ever developed a serious relationship with. When we split up, I had nothing but my family - no job, no real work experience in my chosen field, no confidence, no ego, zip. I think (er, know) for two or three of those years I was probably in a mild depression. BUT, to cut short a long sob story straight, I started meditating somewhat regularly, and it has helped me to see that. . . being depressed was not something that I had to do. Meditation is a strong tool for self-discernment. I have absolutely no clue if you are depressed or if some other issue is making you dislike your experience - but there are options, as everyone has suggested.

And - a Rickenbacker 330 is a GREAT placebo for those moments when nothing else seem to go right

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Mon Feb 13, 2006 9:10 pm

I think that's a good suggestion, Wormdiet. Henke mentioned having lots of things going on and having trouble focusing. Maybe meditating would give your mind a bit of a rest from all those things whirling around in it. Things whirling around in your head can be very mentally tiring and I think it can interfere with the ability to concentrate on matters at hand. Your mind can get so that it is always somewhere else.

Henke · Post by **Henke** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 1:10 pm

So, I thought I'd give you guys an update.
I've finally graduated. My grades were ok really. I put in an effort in some classes at the end and earned some decent grades. I didn't bother with some courses as I would have gotten mediocre grades there anyway. Now I have a chance to improve them and get better grades later(swedish educational system is pretty forgiving thankfully). My worries are not with the grades now. I'm glad I've finished and I still have all options open.

The thing that buggs me now is that I miss the music related courses so much. I feel like I wasted a lot of time not learning. I could have done so much better and I would have been a better musician now for it. Before, when I was in school, some of those courses just felt like a pain in the ass. I didn't feel like I needed all that knowledge, or really, I felt like I could do better things with my time. This concerns the music-theory related subjects primarily. I flunked the B course in Music Theory because I wasn't paying attention, and now, just a few weeks later I'm trying to study up the same stuff on the internet just for the sake of knowing about it.
Man, do I feel stupid that I didn't bring that knowledge home when it was right there for grabbing. I would have gotten the knowledge and the grades at the same time. I will look into the oportunity to study up those courses next semester.
Also the instrumental tutelage I got for free, mainly on guitar, where I got above average grades in the end, but I could have learned a lot more. I had a personal instructor there for free and I missed half of the lessons. Now I'll have to pay like $40 per hour for the same tutelage, and I probably will.
I feel like such a sad ass, because I wish I was back 3 or 4 years in time with the same knowledge that I have now. I could have been awesome when I graduated! I can still become just as good but I will have to work a lot harder now (something I'm willing to do). Opportunity wasted to say the least.

Anyway, it's not all bad. I have no problem with my grades now, that could have been a lot worse. They are ok now really. It just buggs me that I was too lazy and stupid to see what kind of opportunities I had.

So, let this be a lesson kids

Learn everything you can in every situation, or you might regret it big time.

Cheers

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 1:14 pm

Henke wrote:So, let this be a lesson kids Learn everything you can in every situation, or you might regret it big time.

The kids never listen to that. I sure didn't. If Hindsight is 20/20,
Foresight has Vaseline smeared all over its glasses.

Glad you made it out in one piece, Henke!