New Line for Telemarketers

FJohnSharp · Post by **FJohnSharp** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:45 pm

One of the things telemarketing has done is ruin the tone of voice with which people answer the phone. If they have caller ID and they don't know you, or if you call up and address them formally (Mr./ Mrs Doe), they answer with a cautious tenseness that you can actually hear fall away when they realize you're not telemarketing. Remember when people answered the phone expectantly? Hopefully? Remember when answering the phone was pleasant?

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:31 pm

FJohnSharp wrote:... they answer with a cautious tenseness that you can actually hear fall away when they realize you're not telemarketing. Remember when people answered the phone expectantly? Hopefully? Remember when answering the phone was pleasant?

I agree absolutely. I know I can come across as rudely curt on the phone.
Actually, Wombat, I do think it's funny, and why not give the telemarketing schmoe's call an interesting twist? You may as well have fun.

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:52 pm

emmline wrote: Actually, Wombat, I do think it's funny, and why not give the telemarketing schmoe's call an interesting twist? You may as well have fun.

Exactly, Em. Nobody gets hurt, I maintain my good mood and sense of humour and I actually throw back some of the presumptions they make. They make assumptions about the relative value of our time without having the faintest idea whether those assumptions are warranted. I might do market research if I were paid well enough. If I believe in their cause, I'll help an NGO for nothing. Same thing if I'm approached by the media as an expert on something.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:46 pm

Have I mentioned how much I love my Zapper?

Several years ago, a friend got tired of listening to me go on and on . . . and on and on . . . about telemarketing calls. They were occurring at a rate of several per hour, including in the middle of the night. Signing up for a "no call" list hadn't helped one whit.

She kept telling me that I needed a Zapper. Having seen them on late-night TV (after having been awakened by telemarketers), I believed them to be in the same genre as Popeil's Pocket Fisherman and Ginsu Steak Knives. I thought they were overpriced and likely useless.

I wasn't spending $39 to find out.

She gave me one for Christmas. I installed it and caller after caller just . . . hung up. After a few days, there was a noticeable decrease in calls. After a week or so, there were almost no calls coming in. Now, I might get one every few weeks.

I offered to pay her for the Zapper, but she wouldn't have it. Said $39 was a small price to pay for not having to listen to me go on and on . . . and on and on . . .

I swear by the thing now. I recommend them.

Daniel_Bingamon · Post by **Daniel_Bingamon** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:47 pm

A friend of mine had a story to tell about how he dealt with telemarketers.

One day he was working outside at the cartridge factory building when the phone started ringing. He was way over on the other side of the complex when the outdoor phone bell rang. Well, it continued ringing and ringing so he started out to get to the phone. Finally after a long walk (phone still ringing) he arrives and answers. It's a chimney cleaning service and they to want do a free first time chimney cleaning.
He was extremely irritated to come all the way in for a telemarketer so he set them up. "Hey, we have a chimney that needs cleaning" . So he gave instructions on getting there.

The people arrived and he took them into an old building and went up a big catwalk and into huge access door into the chimney.

Well here it is:

How's that for chimney, not what they were expecting.

The Chimney people said they had to leave to get special tools, they never returned after that.

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:06 pm

Daniel, I love that one.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 5:04 am

Arkansas has laws that make it a "no rebuttal" state. This is little-known but very nice when you know about it.

If a telemarketer calls us, all we have to say is "Excuse me, I live in Arkansas and it's a no-rebuttal state; please remove us from all lists which your company services."

They are legally obligated to comply, and they are not allowed "rebuttal;" they can't try to continue their sales pitch, for instance. All they can legally do is say something like "Yes sir, I will do that; sorry to have bothered you."

If they do anything else, and you get it on tape, you can file charges against the company.

--James

pjuuldk · Post by **pjuuldk** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:33 am

Hi.

I live in Denmark where we also have lows against telemarketing, onely newspapers and insurrence is allowed to call without an invitation.

For some time now an american company have been calling all over the country offering cruses in the Caribian.
The call begins with a taped woice speaking very fast englih about you have been selected for an oppertunity to a crouse in the Caribiens and if you want more details press 9.

By the 4'th call I got tired about it

and pressed 9 to get a person on the line to explain him that I didn't want them to call me anymore.
The person emediatly started on a salesspeadge allmost impossible to interrupt him

. When I finally manneged to interrupt he wasn't interested in listening to me, instead his woice changed, more irritated, allmost angry, acusing me of calling him up???!!!??? waisting his time???!!!???

In the end I was so pissed of

that I shouted in the pfone DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN!

Well not realy what I wanted to do, but it seems to work, they havn't called me since.

Peter Juul

P.S. Sorry about my english, but I hope that you get the meaning!

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:12 am

Peter, your English is fine!

We've all been there--incidents like that are why states are passing "no rebuttal" and "opt out" laws.

--James

Sliabh Luachra · Post by **Sliabh Luachra** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:17 am

I always try to make the telemarketers day a little more exciting. With a job like that, I think they probably need all the excitement they can get.

Usually I interupt their spiel with. . .

"How did you get this number?!?!?! No one was to call unless they needed HIM released! Do you have any idea what you've done?!?!? He's out now. You've got about 10 minutes now! Run!!!!"

Then if you hit the hang up button really quickly and release it just as quickly, you can hear some of their reaction. It's seems to throw them off just a little.

The other one I tried is, "Can you call later, my wife and I are in the middle of a conjugal visit?"

Mark

Chiffed · Post by **Chiffed** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:44 am

"Hello, I'm just calling to find out if ******** can count on your vote in Monday's election"

Shocked and surprised response:
"He can count???????????"

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:05 am

emmline wrote:In the trenches though, I tend to recognize that he/she's just a poor schmuck who took a cruddy job and it takes the wind out of my sails.
Ideally there would be a way to launch humorous assaults on the people who devise the spiels and train the drones.

So... you saying we shouldn't use the aerosol foghorn on them?

dubhlinn · Post by **dubhlinn** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:54 am

Sounds reasonable enough to me

Slan,
D.

I.D.10-t · Post by **I.D.10-t** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:12 am

Once a Information caller caught me in a particularly bad mood.

Her “Did you know that 6000 people die in the US of ______ a year?’
Me “It’s a large country lots of people die.”
Pause….
Her “Yes but…”

The conversation just got worse after that.

Oh and Walden, I would rather call people and offer to sell them something and if they decide to buy, use an air horn and say “that’s what you get you gullible basmati”

PS Note the sig.
PPS Is gullible a real word? I could not find it in the dictionary.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:50 am

PPS Is gullible a real word? I could not find it in the dictionary.

It's not often I actually laugh out loud because of something I read online.

This did the trick.

Well done, I.D.10-t.

--James