New Line for Telemarketers

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:14 am

Tonight I got the chance to try a new line I have worked out for telmarketers.

Lately, I've mainly been getting calls from companies I actually do business with offering me better deals. At the point in the prepared speech where the marketer says 'we really want to help you get the best out of our services' I interrupt and say that there is indeed a way (s)he could help and then describe aspects of their service I find unsatisfactory. Of course, I'm always given another number to ring entirely at which point I challenge the claim that (s)he was ringing to help me. They seem to find this approach disconcerting, especially when I refuse to talk on the phone and ask for their 'special offer' in writing.

Tonight an unknown market research company rang me. In the middle of the breathless introduction I stopped the caller in mid sentence and said 'Have you cleared this interview with my business manager?' There was a brief silence at the other end and then the caller launched again into the prepared speech. Again I interrupted and repeated my question. This time there was a longer silence. Finally the caller said 'I do have a residential address don't I?' I replied 'You have a residential address but you are making a business call. You don't seriously think I'd give interviews free do you?' Long silence at the other end. 'I don't think I know who you are?' I replied 'Clearly not. But how odd, you don't know who I am but already you want to do business with me. Let me save you further trouble; you wouldn't be able to afford my rates.'

Try it some time. You'll feel much better than you usually do after receiving one of these calls.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:21 am

Thanks, I will give this a try.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 7:44 am

I enjoy hearing about new ways to bait telemarketers. In the trenches though, I tend to recognize that he/she's just a poor schmuck who took a cruddy job and it takes the wind out of my sails.
Ideally there would be a way to launch humorous assaults on the people who devise the spiels and train the drones.

I.D.10-t · Post by **I.D.10-t** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:02 am

I don’t hate telemarketers, I hate the people that buy things from them and from spammers. They are the problem, they are the ones that provide an income for these people. Think about it, do you think that people like Ladybug91210 (see political forum) would pollute this forum if there was no profit to be made from buyers? I wish that of all things, the media would do one of their scare tactic “investigative reporting” specials on people that got sick or died off of the miracle drugs that they sell or a special on the people being scammed over the phone. Maybe this would put a dent into their buisness.

And just to make myself Mr. Unpopular, I feel the same way about people handing money to beggars (and then walk by a street performer and comment that their act sucks). Want to help the homeless, fine, but do something real rather than handing out guilt money.

[/tirade]

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:22 am

I.D.10-t wrote:
[/tirade]

[calm-down]

[/calm-down]

I.D.10-t · Post by **I.D.10-t** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:47 am

Tyler Morris wrote:
I.D.10-t wrote:
[/tirade]

[calm-down][/calm-down]

Thanks, I needed that.

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:13 am

emmline wrote:I enjoy hearing about new ways to bait telemarketers. In the trenches though, I tend to recognize that he/she's just a poor schmuck who took a cruddy job and it takes the wind out of my sails.

Me too, which is why I'm not rude or abusive. Their unwanted intrusion is rude and their assumption that ordinary politeness is a wedge to get in is offensive. That's why adopting something like the view of the world they are foisting on us and trumping every move they try to make is satisfying. They want to dictate to me when they speak and what they talk about. They hope to profit. I just insist that for wasting my time I get a healthy cut. Fair's fair.

Of course, I arrogate to myself a degree of importance in the business world I don't really have. But so do they, and I suspect many don't even realise they are being rude.

BTW, don't ever fear that you will be found out pulling this stunt. If somebody tries to find out who you really are, just act indignant that they don't already know. Let's face it, in your world you are more important than them and, given your priorities, the activities they are interrupting are vastly more imporatant than any survey or marketing spiel they might want to force on you.

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:21 am

If I were living in another country, and had to pick one reason to
immegrate to America, my reason would be the Do Not Call list.
Brilliant piece of legislation, that.

djm · Post by **djm** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:34 am

Unless you are living in a cave, your phone company should offer you features that tell you on the message window of your phone the name and/or phone number of the in-coming caller. I have both.

Telemarketers learned early that if their name came up, people would not answer. They used privacy laws to be allowed to block the caller information from appearing on my phone. Their calls typically show up as Unknown Caller/Unknown Calling Number. So I know not to answer in any case. I can't be bothered to even let it ring. I just pick up the receiver and drop it again. Since most of these companies use automated diallers, this saves me from further aggravation, and I do not have to have a confrontation with the caller.

djm

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:29 am

I don't mind the calls from telemarketers because (1) they're getting fewer and fewer with the no-call list, and (2) they can be fun to play with. What seriously pisses me off are the machine-generated recordings from our proto-simian fundamentalist friends. These shrill ravings generally go something like this:

Did you know that Hilary Clinton and Al Gore have joined forces with sexual terrorists and NAMBLA and the Jews to enforce mandatory darwinian homosexuality in American high schools.

Or something like that.

They never identify themselves, and although they say that you can stay on the line if you want to talk to an operator, you never get one. I don't know if this is illegal or not, because there are some non-commercial exceptions to the no-call laws, but random, anonymous calls are certainly sh*t if not beyond the pale of the law.

I would welcome, yea, I would relish a call from a nice Episcopalian, but nooo, I get Mouthbreathers for Jesus.

fearfaoin · Post by **fearfaoin** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:48 am

"darwinian homosexuality"
Now there's an oxymoron...

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:50 am

fearfaoin wrote:"darwinian homosexuality"
Now there's an oxymoron...

might it refer to sexual evolution...
the sex keeps getting better with every generation.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:25 am

Sometimes when a telemarketer would ask for me and my husband answered, he would say he was my personal secretary and ask what exactly their business was. The calls were very short!

Once our phone company kept calling with additional offers, etc. I finally told the woman, very politely, that I was going to change companies if I got one more call. She apparently was able to note that down, because we stopped getting the calls. My husband started doing this with organizations he gives money to who were calling to ask him to increase his donation and that cut down on the calls from them. You can do this in a really polite but firm way that doesn't put down the person making the call.

Once I accidentally hung up on someone calling from our bank because she started out just like a telemarketer and I quickly interrupted and said I wasn't interested, thank you. It was a little embarrassing when she called again and it turned out she really did need to talk to my husband!

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:38 am

Tyler Morris wrote:
fearfaoin wrote:"darwinian homosexuality"
Now there's an oxymoron...

might it refer to sexual evolution...
the sex keeps getting better with every generation.

Well, it was intended just as manufactured, pseudo fundie-babble, but it does have a nice oxymoronic ring to it, doesn't it?

Try googling it for some interesting things to read when you should be working.

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:42 am

gonzo914 wrote:
Tyler Morris wrote:
fearfaoin wrote:"darwinian homosexuality"
Now there's an oxymoron...

might it refer to sexual evolution...
the sex keeps getting better with every generation.
Well, it was intended just as manufactured, pseudo fundie-babble, but it does have a nice oxymoronic ring to it, doesn't it?

Try googling it for some interesting things to read when you should be working.

Which part, the darwinian homosexuality or the sexual evolution?
Either way, my company unit wont let me see many of the results

Probably just the naughty bits!