Chiff & Fipple: The 2008 Presidential Platform

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:21 pm

scottielvr wrote:14. Dogs are to be allowed everywhere.

....so that they may all be readily visible to the large army of recruits whose only job would be to shoot them all on sight as quickly as possible.

Popularity? Who needs it?

Steve

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:27 pm

15. News time can no longer be wasted on interviews of athletes.
16. All professional athletes must play for minimum wage plus room and board. (Hey, they're gettin' paid to play a game, fer cryin' out loud!)
17. All profits from professional sports must be used for (select one or more): teachers' salaries, road maintenance and other public infrastructure projects, land mine removal, scientific research, food programs for the poor, universal medical insurance.

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:33 pm

18. No Paris Hilton, anywhere.

chas · Post by **chas** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:40 pm

All punitive damages from lawsuits go to charity, incuding the lawyers' commissions.

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:53 pm

SteveShaw wrote:
The Weekenders wrote: boner pills, because I get embarassed at even thinking of having to explain what they are to kids.
You get ads for "boner pills" on the telly? I don't believe it!

Steve

Yep. All hours, including major sporting events, regular network TV. It's awful. I'm not even gonna tell ya how cheezy the commercials themselves are, on top of the outrage of showing them. But just think of sleazy saxophone playing, wistful couples in very late 40s, early 50s grinning stupid grins.... aaarrghhhhhh. They actually began, a few years back, with Senator Bob Dole and ultra-alpha football coach Mike Ditka doing straight-up endorsements.... Now its "fictional scenarios."

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:56 pm

DaleWisely wrote:#1. No more doorbell sounds on TV. They make us get up to see if there is somebody at our door, and that annoys us and makes us feel stupid.

And it makes our dogs bark. I bet 6 people have already said that. Now I'll check.

edit: not 6, just Susan. That almost counts.

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:58 pm

The Weekenders wrote: Senator Bob Dole and ultra-alpha football coach Mike Ditka doing straight-up endorsements

Oh please!!

Steve

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 6:04 pm

SteveShaw wrote:
The Weekenders wrote: Senator Bob Dole and ultra-alpha football coach Mike Ditka doing straight-up endorsements
Oh please!!

Steve

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 6:19 pm

jsluder wrote:
SteveShaw wrote:
The Weekenders wrote: Senator Bob Dole and ultra-alpha football coach Mike Ditka doing straight-up endorsements
Oh please!!

Steve

I think he needs the defaecatorium, fast.

Steve

scottielvr · Post by **scottielvr** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 6:22 pm

SteveShaw wrote:
scottielvr wrote:14. Dogs are to be allowed everywhere.
....so that they may all be readily visible to the large army of recruits whose only job would be to shoot them all on sight as quickly as possible.
Popularity? Who needs it?Steve

*ahem*

"From The Telegraph
Dog shoots man

Wednesday, August 18 1999
Updated 11:40 AM ET August 18, 1999

STUTTGART, Germany (Reuters) - A German dog has shot and killed its owner, police said Wednesday.

The 51-year-old man, who had been out hunting with his shotgun, was found dead beside his car near the southwestern town of Bad Urach Monday.

Police ruled out suicide...."

djm · Post by **djm** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 9:09 pm

DW wrote:The problem with Gene Roddenberry's vision is you have to take the good (free food & clothing) with the bad (Frank Gorshin painted half-black and half-white.)

Such a Joker you are!

djm

Post by **Dale** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 10:41 pm

djm wrote:
DW wrote:The problem with Gene Roddenberry's vision is you have to take the good (free food & clothing) with the bad (Frank Gorshin painted half-black and half-white.)
Such a Joker you are!

djm

No, Dude. I'm a Riddler.

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:10 pm

#20 Cable TV (or Dish) shall only charge for the channels actually watched and for the time actually watched, in 15 minute increments.

Chiffed · Post by **Chiffed** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:37 pm

#1812 Canada shall henceforth be known as the Northern Resource Area

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Wed Jan 11, 2006 12:16 am

22. Eminent domain, compulsory purchase, or expropriation, cannot be used as a means of acquiring property for private enterprise.

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Chiff & Fipple: The 2008 Presidential Platform

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