guys,what would you do(girls,what do you think I should do?)

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:26 am

amar wrote:rats, got a boyfriend. oh well. was a good try.

I thought he meant me. Oh well, there goes the free beer ploy.

Steve

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:48 am

amar wrote:rats, got a boyfriend. oh well. was a good try.

Well done for asking her out anyway, old chap.

flanum · Post by **flanum** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:51 am

CONTINUE STALKIN HER ANYWAY!

GO WITH THE WINDOW PLOT!

amar · Post by **amar** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:09 am

SteveShaw wrote:
amar wrote:rats, got a boyfriend. oh well. was a good try.
I thought he meant me. Oh well, there goes the free beer ploy.

Steve

buddy, I'd ask you out any time. you've even got man-boobs.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 9:48 am

Lambchop wrote:
amar wrote:rats, got a boyfriend. oh well. was a good try.
Amar, she has a boyfriend NOW. That's no reason to give up. She might not have him next week, but even if she does, and even if you're not her type, if you get to know her and make interesting, friendly conversation, she will possibly fix you up with someone nice.

Well, darn. I think Lamby's advice is good though. Keep getting to know nice people and they will have nice friends, etc. They might have a party, invite you, the girl of your dreams will be there!

Okay, you and Steve have a good time. Maybe you should take flanum with you, but keep him away from the windows!!!!

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 11:55 am

You could still make friends with her...

My wife had a boyfriend when I first met her, too

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:17 pm

Wanderer wrote:You could still make friends with her...

My wife had a boyfriend when I first met her, too

A neat idea, but isn't it a little akward becoming lovers after a good friendship? That's what I heard anyway.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 1:53 pm

Joseph E. Smith wrote:
Wanderer wrote:You could still make friends with her...

My wife had a boyfriend when I first met her, too
A neat idea, but isn't it a little akward becoming lovers after a good friendship? That's what I heard anyway.

It is if all you're interested in is anonymous sex.

Redwolf · Post by **Redwolf** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 2:37 pm

Joseph E. Smith wrote:
Wanderer wrote:You could still make friends with her...

My wife had a boyfriend when I first met her, too
A neat idea, but isn't it a little akward becoming lovers after a good friendship? That's what I heard anyway.

I can't imagine having a lover who isn't also a good friend.

Redwolf

lixnaw · Post by **lixnaw** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 2:41 pm

amar wrote:rats, got a boyfriend. oh well. was a good try.

go on, ask her again today if she still has that same boyfriend

amar · Post by **amar** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 3:06 pm

Doesn't matter, it was a nice day. She came over later, asked me to have coffee. We had a nice casual talk, in the end I told her that my offer to go out with her was still good.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 3:42 pm

amar wrote:Doesn't matter, it was a nice day. She came over later, asked me to have coffee. We had a nice casual talk, in the end I told her that my offer to go out with her was still good.

This is a Very Good Sign!

She's interested, Amar, and she may not be as attached to that boyfriend as you'd think. This extremely nice gesture communicated that she's definitely open to the idea of being friendly with you. Possibly not romatic, yet, but at least friendly.

If she were completely invested in that boyfriend, or found you unappealing, or had heard horrible things about you, the thought of having coffee with you would not have occurred to her.

You know, women are in an awkward spot when you ask them out. There is a good bit of risk involved in dealing with the offer of a date. If you don't want to go, you have to be very careful how you refuse. If you are interested, but you feel that you need to find out more about this person first, one of the few good ways to do it is to say you are in a relationship. He can't argue with that--he can not like it all he wants, but if he presses on, there is the threat of the boyfriend. If you say you're busy, or just say "no," then he may see this as an invitation to keep trying or he may become angry and start stalking you.

Going out with a man who wants to pay can be uncomfortable, too, because a lot of times men feel that if they pay they deserve sex. Once you're "courting," it's ok if the guy pays, but on a first date it can be risky. It's unpleasant to be in the position of having to fend off someone who feels he's entitled to sex because he bought you dinner or drinks. If you're not inclined to this behavior, you would be shocked to know how many men are.

Telling you that she had a boyfriend, then asking you for coffee is an elegant ploy. She turned the tables on you, putting herself in a better position, and gave herself time to check you out.

Keep this lady in mind, and make a point of keeping the relationship going in a light and pleasant manner.

amar · Post by **amar** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 3:53 pm

I'll just be as I am. Hope to not scare anyone away.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:13 pm

Lambchop wrote:
Joseph E. Smith wrote:
Wanderer wrote:You could still make friends with her...

My wife had a boyfriend when I first met her, too
A neat idea, but isn't it a little akward becoming lovers after a good friendship? That's what I heard anyway.
It is if all you're interested in is anonymous sex.

If this is what men think, no wonder we have problems!!!

djm · Post by **djm** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:16 pm

Cynth wrote:If this is what men think, no wonder we have a problems!!!

Think? Think???

djm