Lies! All lies!!

[Lorenzo]

Botanically-speaking:

...

Steve (low-grade botany degree, 1972 )

Wow, good stuff there Steve. I must be half bird with all the seeds I eat.

[Lambchop]

Care to join me for a nosh of steamed grains and spring mix salad, Deej? I can do up a bit of wild Alaskan red salmon, too, if you'd like.

Of course, it's not like I actually cook . . .

How can you say you don't cook if you can pepare a feast like this? I'm moving in, and bringing chocolate with me! (we're talking real salmon - not smoked - right?)

djm

Of course it is real salmon! Rubbed with olive oil and lemon pepper, or perhaps done more elegantly in a thin rub of mayonnaise and freshly ground pepper.

I bake and broil, steam vegetables, boil potatoes, wash salad greens, toss a few cups of grains or rice into a rice cooker, saute mushrooms, and other things along those lines. My appliances are limited to a toaster, a coffee grinder, and a rice cooker.

I seem to be incapable of producing a casserole of any sort--or any of the things you would bring to a potluck--even if all you have to do to accomplish it is dump on a can of mushroom soup. I am, in fact, usually asked to bring only the plastic forks and plates--emphasis on the "only."

But, if you like that sort of thing . . . I have to say that sounds intriguing. Along with the chocolate.

[djm]

saute mushrooms

I kill hobbits to get at sauted mushrooms.

djm

[Lambchop]

saute mushrooms

I kill hobbits to get at sauted mushrooms.

djm

There are 8 ounces of at-the-peak-of-perfection baby portobello mushrooms in my refrigerator right now . . . and I know where I can get more! Along with an assortment of other varieties . . . oyster, crimini, mmmmmmm!

[jbarter]

Does this mean no-one can actually tell me what the cheese puffs tasted like?

[SteveShaw]

What's a rice-cooker? You want perfect basmati rice? Buy best basmati you can find. Even good rice is dead cheap. Measure rice into saucepan. One of my tea mugs full serves two. Rinse twice with cold water. Drain. Add salt (more than you think is needed due to method used). Add excess boiling water. Don't faff around trying to measure the exact amount of water needed - that causes more rice failures than anything. Bring to boil. As soon as you have a simmer (it won't be long as you started with boiling water), give it a stir and time the rice for exactly twelve minutes from then. It should just be simmering very gently, not jumping around all over the place in the pan. Drain in sieve (most of salt is discarded).

Best eaten with king prawn vindaloo with raita, mango chut and a pappadom. Or chili con carne.

Don't waste money on easi-cook, boil-in-bag, Uncle Ben's or any cheap long-grain in plastic sacks that would make good small pillows.

Steve

[Flyingcursor]

Or, you could be drinking sometime labeled "100% natural fruit juice" that is called "white grape juice" - but on the ingredient label, you'll find it's almost all actually apple juice.

That one reall ticks me off. The labels will say "Contains 100% juice". But the ingredients list the first two as "Water, high fructose corn syrup". Reconstituted fruit juices are down toward the bottom.

UGH. I don't want water and syrup, I want juice!!!!!

[djm]

There are 8 ounces of at-the-peak-of-perfection baby portobello mushrooms in my refrigerator right now . . . and I know where I can get more! Along with an assortment of other varieties . . . oyster, crimini, mmmmmmm!

Best eaten with king prawn vindaloo with raita, mango chut and a pappadom. Or chili con carne.

Okay, Lamby love, Steve's upped the ante pretty severely, here. I may have to move in with him (and take my chocolate with me). Whatcha got to top that?

djm

[Lambchop]

What's a rice-cooker?

A rice cooker is a device much like your electric teakettle. It is a sealed burner with a thermostat, a removeable cooking chamber insert, and a lid. You put the rice and water in, apply the lid, and press the start button. It cooks automatically until the water has cooked off, at which point it shuts off.

Here are some samples.

One of my tea mugs full serves two.

That's all well and good for you to say, but how am I supposed to know the conversion factor for this? Remember, we don't use metric over here.

Best eaten with king prawn vindaloo with raita, mango chut and a pappadom.

This the same vindaloo you referenced in a post last week?

What is vindaloo, anyway? (Something on Red Dwarf, I know.)

Don't waste money on easi-cook, boil-in-bag, Uncle Ben's or any cheap long-grain in plastic sacks that would make good small pillows.

I am insulted . . . nay, WOUNDED! . . . that you would think me the sort to use such . . . such . . . drek. After I itemized the contents of my refrigerator for you last week? Clearly identifying several different types of organic rice? Including basmati of excellent quality????

[Denny]

...bit fickle ain't he...

[Nanohedron]

Still, it grates on me. That sort of hair-splitting is like the kid who, when told, "You haven't even touched your vegetables", paws his carrots and says,"There. I've touched my vegetables."

Sorry, but your whole rant sounds a bit silly. Unless you have been living under a rock for the last thirty years, you should know by now that chips, puffs, etc. are all garbage, aptly named "junk food". To sit there knowingly stuffing in junk food and complaining about which parts of the junk are junkier than the rest seems a bit pointless.

If you really cared about what you were eating you wouldn't be eating this stuff in the first place. There is no such thing as an "okay" amount of junk food.

djm

Exactly! Well put, I might add. You took the words right out of my mouth.

Care to join me for a nosh of steamed grains and spring mix salad, Deej? I can do up a bit of wild Alaskan red salmon, too, if you'd like.

And perhaps you could bring some of those chocolate bars from last night?

So you missed the point, too.

[Denny]

So you missed the point, too.

Point? After three pages...

It's like free range chicken...there is an open door, they could go out, if they could walk that far...

Land of the free, home of the...ah...

[jsluder]

So you missed the point, too.

Point? After three pages...

It's like free range chicken...there is an open door, they could go out, if they could walk that far...

... and, perhaps, cross the road?

Ooh, the chicken has crossed threads!

[djm]

But can the chicken truly be said to be free if its stapled to the punk rocker?

djm

[Denny]

But can the chicken truly be said to be free if its stapled to the punk rocker?

djm

...and would a chicken ever remember why it crossed the road by the time it got to the other side...