The Tao Te Chiff. New Translation by Dale Wisely.

susnfx · Post by **susnfx** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 4:59 pm

Personally, I feel that in order to show True Commitment to Chiff, newbies should be required to memorize this piece of ... um ... work. (Of course, those of us already here will be "grandfathered in." )

Susan

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:13 pm

Oh, Dale! That was wonderful!

GaryKelly · Post by **GaryKelly** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:17 pm

I simply must protest about Chapter 31. We have many fine Indian, Chinese,Thai, Italian, Greek, French, Mexican, and even American restaurants over here, and in some of them the food is actually-quite-good. We also have restaurants representing the national cuisines of divers other countries, but sadly not in Swindon. I concede we do not have Taco Bell (which must surely be in our favour), though sadly that means we also don't have the TV commercials with the cute talking dog.

Also, there should be a chapter about the cute talking dog.

Post by **Dale** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:45 pm

GaryKelly wrote:I simply must protest about Chapter 31. We have many fine Indian, Chinese,Thai, Italian, Greek, French, Mexican, and even American restaurants over here, and in some of them the food is actually-quite-good. We also have restaurants representing the national cuisines of divers other countries, but sadly not in Swindon. I concede we do not have Taco Bell (which must surely be in our favour), though sadly that means we also don't have the TV commercials with the cute talking dog.

Also, there should be a chapter about the cute talking dog.

Actually, I liked every meal I ate in London. That's why it pained me to have to translate that line about English food. I have to be faithful to the original manuscripts.

Darwin · Post by **Darwin** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 5:50 pm

Now I know how a cow at a slaughterhouse feels after being whacked with a sledgehammer by a newbie who doesn't get it quite right.

Tell Mother I'm coming...

Doug_Tipple · Post by **Doug_Tipple** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:15 pm

Dale, I am not an authority on Eastern religions, but I don't believe that your new avatar photo showing the chakras goes with your well-written parody of "The Way" by Lao Tzu. Did you intend for there to be a connection. All of the other graphics on the page look Taoist but not the chakra graphic, IMO. I don't know, maybe I ate too many raw beets today.

SteveShaw · Post by **SteveShaw** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:21 pm

Quoth he:
"Do not shine like the precious gem,
but be as dull as a common stone.
And we’re not talking about jim stone.
Although this text looks a little like one of his posts."

Genius, sheer genius!

Steve

brewerpaul · Post by **brewerpaul** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:39 pm

Brilliant, Grasshoppa!

I hear that The Undisputed ONE will soon be following this work with a divination book called the I Chiff, and a whole new martial art called Tai Chiff....

Denny · Post by **Denny** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:48 pm

brewerpaul wrote:..., and a whole new martial art called Tai Chiff....

...and companion restaurant?

scottielvr · Post by **scottielvr** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:57 pm

The Undisputed wrote: For those who, like the Undisputed,
practice not-playing,
everything will fall into place.

Master, I am struggling with this koan. I have practiced not-playing for so long; yet not one thing has fallen into place, although my wallpaper is falling off the wall, my lawn is covered with fallen leaves, and my retirement portfolio has lately diminished in value. Are these signs that I am near to attaining mastery?

Chiffed · Post by **Chiffed** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 8:07 pm

brewerpaul wrote:Brilliant, Grasshoppa!

I hear that The Undisputed ONE will soon be following this work with a divination book called the I Chiff, and a whole new martial art called Tai Chiff....

I just cast the I Chiff by knocking over a Scotch tube and spilling my Generations on the floor. As far as I can tell, if I don't win the lottery today, I'll be hit by a truck next Tuesday.

Post by **Dale** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 8:11 pm

Doug_Tipple wrote:Dale, I am not an authority on Eastern religions, but I don't believe that your new avatar photo showing the chakras goes with your well-written parody of "The Way" by Lao Tzu. Did you intend for there to be a connection. All of the other graphics on the page look Taoist but not the chakra graphic, IMO. I don't know, maybe I ate too many raw beets today.

Yeah, well, you know, East is East.

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 8:13 pm

Doug_Tipple wrote:It reminds me of when I used to attend nudist/health/meditation camps. We would sit in the hot springs and chant until we got hungry for some more raw vegetables.

Hmmm...eating raw vegetables in a nudist camp?!?!?

Hmmm....this too shall pass.

Dale, you got a great sense of humor. Only in a thread you started would someone bring up vegetarian nudist camps!!!

--James

djm · Post by **djm** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 8:36 pm

I'm not sure which is funnier: switching to female in a patronising way whenever the text refers to the superior person, or choosing to mock someone else's Bible because you don't think there are any Taoists on the board.

djm

Post by **Dale** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 9:05 pm

djm wrote:I'm not sure which is funnier: switching to female in a patronising way whenever the text refers to the superior person, or choosing to mock someone else's Bible because you don't think there are any Taoists on the board.

djm

Oh, shut up. I'm working on the New Testament.