fatigue (update, again)

avanutria · Post by **avanutria** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 6:50 am

Cran, please check your PM if you haven't already.

Post by **Dale** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:33 am

buddhu wrote: Please don't shut up. I appreciate the moderators' concern about 'oversharing' and their consideration for all users of these boards, but personally I ask them to let your need to talk and the spirit of community concern be the overriding considerations here.

In a community whose depth I am only just starting to appreciate, I think this thread is completely approriate and I hope you are allowed to continue sharing as you feel you need to.

.

Cran knows he is free to post about this as much as he feels like. My request to him not to overshare was a response to a very specific item and Cran is aware of that.

Denny · Post by **Denny** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:44 am

Whistlin'Dixie wrote:
buddhu wrote:
Whistlin'Dixie wrote:...
I had a cyst removed from my thyroid a few years back. My boss did it during a slack time at our office. ...
Oy! Er, please tell me that you DO work in a medical environment...
please reference my profile.

M

tease!

jim stone · Post by **jim stone** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:45 am

Yes, absolutely tell us what's going on. Jim

dubhlinn · Post by **dubhlinn** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:11 am

Cran me old pal,

Without wishing to repeat all of the good advice posted so far,I would like to add this.
Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
During these troubled times it is very important - and hard - to keep a positive attitude to what lies ahead.We all know that you are a very spirirtual - for want of a better word - person and prayer is a classic example of positive thought but a belief that you can overcome all this is equally important.

We all know that your family life was not the happiest of times but now that you are out in the wider world you must try to put the past behind you and live for the future.

Maybe a lot of the current problems are related to the vast changes you have made in your life of late and like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you are becoming a new stronger person and these are just birth pains,in a manner of speaking.

Never forget that your other family,your Cyberfamily here on the Big Blue, all love and respect you for what you are and that your pain is shared by us all.

Keep in touch Little Bro'...we are all here for you.

Slan,
D.

buddhu · Post by **buddhu** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:49 am

DaleWisely wrote:
buddhu wrote: Please don't shut up. I appreciate the moderators' concern about 'oversharing' and their consideration for all users of these boards, but personally I ask them to let your need to talk and the spirit of community concern be the overriding considerations here.

In a community whose depth I am only just starting to appreciate, I think this thread is completely approriate and I hope you are allowed to continue sharing as you feel you need to.

.
Cran knows he is free to post about this as much as he feels like. My request to him not to overshare was a response to a very specific item and Cran is aware of that.

Thanks, Dale. I meant no criticism.

Missy: PHEW! That's a relief.

Dub: Very nicely put, man. Spot on.

missy · Post by **missy** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:56 am

[quote="buddhu"

Missy: PHEW! That's a relief.

[/quote]

HUH????

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:57 am

Still sending good vibes your way Cran. I think it is safe to say that the majority of this board is behind you. Keeping this thought close can help in comforting you during these times. My PM box is always open should you need to unload.

avanutria · Post by **avanutria** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:19 am

missy wrote:
buddhu wrote:

Missy: PHEW! That's a relief.

HUH????

I think he might have mixed you up with Whistlin'Dixie and the working-in-a-medical-environment conversation.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:21 am

Just PM'd you, cran...I wanted to let you know here because I'm sure that you're getting quite a few. Dub is right...staying positive right now is crucial. Negativity will make it so much worse for you. I do know it's hard...it was hard for me to stay positive. But as someone who has already walked this road, it's the one thing that will help you keep your head in this. What will be, will be, and all you can do is get the testing done to rule out what it isn't, and then deal with what it is. Until you know what it is, you shouldn't worry about what it could be.

Anyway, I restress here, email me if you need to. I'm more than happy to help where I can.

peteinmn · Post by **peteinmn** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:54 am

Cran,

I probably don't need to tell you that life can be a bitch sometimes. But there's also music and love and friends. Keep your chin up. You will be in my thoughts.

Best
Peter

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:05 am

I have a tendency, when things get really bad, to mentally "retreat" and shut down and block out the whole world. It's a defense mechanism that is common to adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma, and when I said I wondered if I shouldn't just shut up and stop whining, that's what I meant, I didn't mean to imply that I was being censored or told what to say by Dale. I most certainly am not and I love Dale and I hope he knows that. I just wanted to make that clear to everybody.

Anyway, thanks to everybody. I really am overwhelmed that, even though I am now in a better place than with my family, I can yet still feel so isolated and like a failure. My therapist or I either one don't think it's clinical depression--it's just the way people tend to feel when they're looking at a future big ordeal, like a serious illness.

I am looking into places I could possibly stay in Kentucky when I take a leave of absence. It's a long process with a tremendous amount of paper work, both for leaving the college and for finding somewhere else to stay, and this just adds to the stress, I guess.

I'm trying really really hard not to worry about the "what ifs" but I am human and it is human to wonder. I'm keeping it at a reasonable level, though. I haven't had any panic attacks or much obsessive thoughts, though. It's just a normal wondering "If I have anaplastic cancer and I die, where will I want to be buried" kind of thing. Isn't that such a cheerful thought to ponder??

I'm falling behind in my classes (please don't berate me for it, Lambchop), and I've had my work position voluntarily suspended, but with the multiple trips to the doctor every week, plus the "normal" stress from being in college, and (up until a few days ago) the stress from work, and the stress of being alone through all of this (in body, if not in spirit), and the stress of not feeling well anyway, plus all the paper work and meetings with every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the world, I can't claim to be in the best spirits right now.

A long-time Internet friend way out in Arizona has offered to let me stay with her if I absolutely have to. And I am looking into Ronald McDonald House, and staying with somebody here in Berea (though who I don't know). So all is not lost.

Thanks again to everybody for the prayers and warm thoughts and kindness.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:15 am

amar wrote:Don't worry Cran, it'll be a quick procedure, not half as bad as it looks.
my fingers are crossed for ya bud.

What Amar said, Cran. And what Izz, Dixie, and Ava said, too. My fingers are crossed and I hope it will just turn out to be a multinodular goiter or something--those often have nodules and cysts.

Having had lots of little bits biopsied and operated on, I can tell you that the wait is far worse than the procedure. I dislike the wait so much that now, when I go to a doctor, if there is any chance they'll want a piece of me, I tell them in advance to plan on finding a knife right quick and doing it right then. I don't want to think about it for a week and come back. I don't want sedation, either, because I need to go back to work afterward and I have to drive myself home.

Don't think that the 3-5 hour wait in the office before you can go home is an indication that this is more than a minor thing--it isn't. It's mostly so that you can recover from the sedative. And, I'm sure that if you tell them how upset you are, they're going to give you lots of sedative--probably enough that you won't care what they do. It's also partly for liability reasons -- they can't let you go until they're sure you've recovered completely and will be safe walking around outside. You'll get a little bruising from even a blood draw, so that's to be expected with most anything.

Try to keep an optimistic outlook. I know it's difficult, but you really need to. Perhaps emailing a thyroid disease support group might help? You may be able to chat with someone who's been through the same thing.

DCrom · Post by **DCrom** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:07 pm

Thinking of you, Cran.

Can't really add anything to the good advice I've already seen posted, but you've my thoughts and good wishes.

Thoroughly agree with Lambchop about the wait, too - when something needs to be done, I'd rather get it over with and not have the time to worry about it.

Here's to the best possible test results and a rapid recovery.

Dana C.

buddhu · Post by **buddhu** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:53 pm

avanutria wrote:
missy wrote:
buddhu wrote:

Missy: PHEW! That's a relief.

HUH????
I think he might have mixed you up with Whistlin'Dixie and the working-in-a-medical-environment conversation.

Doh, that's what comes of hurriedly scanning forums when one should be working... Apologies for my stupidity! You'll get used to it. Actually, it looks like you already are - you figured out my mistake before I did (as people often do).