Confirmation Hearing Questions

[Dale]

I think I need a bathroom break. Is that possible?

[Joseph E. Smith]

I think I need a bathroom break. Is that possible?

Why would you want to break your bathroom? Ugly wall paper? Day-glo toilet seat?

[Joseph E. Smith]

Don't worry, we found them...

Joseph, that pic is starting to freak me out...

Uncanny (and unintentional), but both of these photos have a lot in common... which makes them even more terrifying.

Pod people clones... We gonna take over the world.

Yes, yes.... all we need now is our own theme music.

[Dale]

Mr. Wisely: Do you have any beliefs? If so, did anything or anyone ever influence you, or did you make it all up?
We can't confirm anyone who has been influenced by anyone or anything OR has had an original thought.

I do have some beliefs.

Someone did influence me.

I made some of it up, but not all.

[Dale]

No repitition is allowed, Senator.

Oh, I have a follow-up question: Tastes great, or Less filling?

Tastes filling, less great.

[Dale]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

How much is a "cord" of wood?

[Dale]

Are you looking at my pint?

See. I dunno. That's some kind of European thing. But, in any case, I'm presently looking at my own pint.

[Dale]

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the French aristocracy?

The French. Hehehe. Right.

[Dale]

Can I have a dollar?

No. That would be a bribe. And that would be wrong.

[Dale]

Mr. Wisely, I have many questions.

Because the job of Great and All Knowing Whistle Moderator is an appointment for all eternity, must look very carefully at your qualifications.

Can you provide to Committee with any examples of events in you life in which you actually demonstrated moderation?

Mr Wisely, do you believe all whistles are created equally? Is it the role of government to express preference for some groups of whistles over others?

What, Mr Wisely, is your position on tonguing? Should it be taught in schools? Is it as legitimate as slurring?

Mr Wisely, in your opinion is Intelligent Design a legitimate theory of the origin of the whistle?

Mr Wisely, as you know, there are some people in our society who have amassed vast quantities of whistles. Others have very few or only one whistle. What is the role of government in providing a more equal distribution of whistles?

Mr Wisely there are some who believe in strict interpetation of Irish music, that it should be played in the original manner and that whistlers should not develop new theories in a session.

Is WHOA a blessing or a curse?

As Great and All knowing Whistle Moderator you will be the public embodiment of whistledom. Is there anything in you past that might make you unfit for this role? For example have you ever used a whistle for something other than it's intended purpose? Have you ever mouthed a recorder?

Does this mean that man is evolved from whistles?



Good Luck to you Mr Wisely. Mr Chairman, I relinquish the remainder of my time.

Mr. Wisely, I have many questions.

Boy. You sure do.

[Dale]

Spell "world" backwards. If you can't, then at least spell "wrold" backwards.

redro dlrow wen

[buddhu]

Mr Wisely, have you recently received a blow to the head or an unscheduled dose of powerful medication...?

Strikes me, to borrow an observation from the Mr Bean movie, that you could use one, the other or both. Your behaviour is worryingly odd here.

My question, therefore, is: am I safe behind this sofa?

[blackhawk]

Is that tobacco in your tinwhistle?

If so, was it grown in Columbia?

And do you feel more like you do right now than you did a while ago?

[Dale]

I grow weary of these questions. Confirm me or not. You know my heart.

[Jack]

I grow weary of these questions. Confirm me or not. You know my heart.

I vote yea.