Restaurant tipping. Pros & cons

[jbarter]

How do you tip in bars in the US? Do all American bars work the 'tab' system where you just pay at the end? In the UK, if the barman/barmaid is paticularly cheerful, friendly, and efficient, then the norm is just to say "and one for yourself" when ordering drinks. They then have the choice of either having a drink or taking the price of one as a tip.

[pixyy]

Lot's of replies from the US so far

I know the system there is quite different from Europe.
In most European countries 'tip' is included in the price.
I grew up watching my dad and granddad leaving tips after restaurant meals according to how good the service was.
Service (apart from the quality of the food) can really make or break a restaurant experience.

That said, there is no expected or generally agreed percentage in the Netherlands (where I grew up) nor in Denmark (where I live).
One can easily spend $80-100 for a decent dinner and drinks for 2 here in Copenhagen. Tipping 20% would be considered outrageous by danish standards. An American friend of mine always gets shocked looks for leaving US-style tips in danish bars and restaurants.

my general 'rule'
Bars: no tips
Take-away: no tips
restaurant: according to service, but I guess not more than 10%

The 'trendy' lunch cafe's are the worst. Arrogant young personnel that even reluctantly carry out the most basic tasks. That can really tick me off...

One of our local restaurants always gets a tip. We know the people and they are always very accomodating. We regularly eat there early on weekdays, so there are few customers. They are friendly to our 2 year old daughter, anticipate our needs and meet my pregnant wife's food wishes with a smile

[Redwolf]

They do, actually. Waiters (I despise the term "waitron"...there's nothing inherently masculine about "waiter"!) must declare their tips on their taxes. It's really an abhorrent system...especially when the waiter is expected to share his tips with everyone else who works in the restaurant!

I was joking about the 'loving(ly)' part... "waitron" is a term I use only for the ones who are so automated and impersonal that they seem robotic... or the rude, less than tipworthy ones. I don't use it very often as all, and usually only as a joke. Sorry for the confusion... I'll try to remember a smilie next time.

Ah...I see. OK. You see, here in Santa Cruz, people go to ridiculous lengths to avoid using the word "waiter"...I've even seen ads for "waits"! That's why I assumed you were serious.

Redwolf

[Nanohedron]

I think everyone should work in food service for a few months at least once in their lives.

No E

I agree.

Me too; I'd settle on a mandatory year. Still, you know some folks just wouldn't get it anyway. I can't believe some service personnel and their comportment, as if they were entitled to their tips no matter what. One EARNS tips. Tips are not a fundamental given nor a right.

[Redwolf]

How do you tip in bars in the US? Do all American bars work the 'tab' system where you just pay at the end? In the UK, if the barman/barmaid is paticularly cheerful, friendly, and efficient, then the norm is just to say "and one for yourself" when ordering drinks. They then have the choice of either having a drink or taking the price of one as a tip.

In the U.S., it's standard to tip in a bar as well. In most states, bartenders aren't allowed to drink while on the job, so "one for yourself" is out (especially as taking the price of one would amount to a 100% tip!). I always tip if I'm sitting at the bar (which I prefer to do when I'm alone...in that case I'll often tip especially well, as I like to keep on the friendly side of the bartender...he's the fellow I expect to help me fend off any offensive drunks who may think a lady having a beer alone is an easy pick-up!). At a table, I use the same formula as in a restaurant.

Yes, most bars will let you run a tab, but I usually don't, as I'm generally only in there for a drink or two at the most.

Redwolf

[Will O'B]

I'm sorry if someone has already addressed this here, but it didn't jump out at me. What I don't quite get is when you go out for a really nice dinner for two, including a couple of drinks and perhaps desert the cheque arrives and its for, let's say $100 (to keep the math simple for me). The waiter probably stopped at the table one other time before bringing the cheque and asking if there is anything else we would like. Based on the 15 - 20% formula for tipping (which I generally agree with), I would end up leaving $15 - $20.

The second scenario is when we have a nice dinner for two at a good family restaurant and the bill is, let's say $30. In this instance, the waitress has made repeated stops at the table to ask how everything is and to accomodate our every whim. The formula would give this person $4.50 - $6.

From my perspective, the waitress at the family restaurant is working considerably harder than the person in the first scenario. Yet her tip is significantly less - based on the formula. I know that employee salaries can and do vary greatly from company to company for people performing the same duties. But paying an arbitrary dollar amount for a service that is based on the price of your meal and that has nothing to do with the quality of the service received seems very unfair to both the customer and the waiter/waitress. Yet, I generally adhere to that rule anyway, though I tend to go with 15% at the more expensive places and 20% at the family places. With a little less or more depending upon who I'm dealing with.

Will O'B

[Cynth]

No it isn't really fair, and that's why you'd want to work at the ritziest place you could, because of the tips. I don't know that I've observed the waiter in the cheaper place working harder, I'd guess about the same, in my experience. Or maybe the fancy places have seemed a bit more demanding on the waiter.

Another thing that seems unfair, and this may be changing, is that the really super ritzy places tend to have waiters and not waitresses. It's like it is more high class to have a man to wait on you. So women are closed out from the best tip paying jobs in the restaurant business.

[Will O'B]

Another thing that seems unfair, and this may be changing, is that the really super ritzy places tend to have waiters and not waitresses. It's like it is more high class to have a man to wait on you. So women are closed out from the best tip paying jobs in the restaurant business.

Yeah, Cynth, I've noticed that as well. Although I have seen a few women starting to wait tables in the ritzier places (not that I go out to eat much anymore), so perhaps the trend is changing. What is more of a rarity, I think, is men waiting tables in the family restaurants.

Will o'B

PS: I know ladies. I know. Please allow me to save you from typing it: But the rarest thing of all is men waiting tables at home.

[Redwolf]

It doesn't seem fair, but then, when you think about it, job situations really aren't all that fair. It doesn't seem fair that the incompetant manager often makes more than the talented people working under him either, but that's the working world, I'm afraid.

I do have much higher standards for the people working in the ritzier places (if I'm dropping $100 for dinner for two, I expect to have a fantastic experience, frankly...not just great food, but great ambiance, and the waiter is a big part of that)...if the waiter in a high class place wants a good tip out of me, he's got to hustle his tóin for it!

Redwolf

[Wanderer]

It doesn't seem fair, but then, when you think about it, job situations really aren't all that fair. It doesn't seem fair that the incompetant manager often makes more than the talented people working under him either, but that's the working world, I'm afraid.

I do have much higher standards for the people working in the ritzier places (if I'm dropping $100 for dinner for two, I expect to have a fantastic experience, frankly...not just great food, but great ambiance, and the waiter is a big part of that)...if the waiter in a high class place wants a good tip out of me, he's got to hustle his tóin for it!

Redwolf

Generally, waitstaff in a higher class place is expected to know more about the food, as well. In a super-ritzy place, they should know where the meat comes from, what river of what country the bottled water comes from, etc.

At Bennigan's where I worked as a youth, if you asked what was on something, most often he answer was "I'll go back in the kitchen and find out"

[SteveShaw]

10% is enough. You don't know where the tip's going to end up anyway. I'm not going to sit in a restaurant assessing how good the service is or isn't. I want to be able to ignore it. I've gone there to enjoy myself, not suss out how good the waiters are. I want the service to be OK and unobtrusive and designed so that the evening goes well. If the service seems bad (e.g. long gaps between courses) it might not be the waiter's fault. I would only not tip if (a) there is a service charge included on the bill (I've been known to withold this!) or (b) the waiter was offhand or surly or impatient. It can be annoying when they know bugger all about the wine-list but, again, that's hardly their fault. I speak of course as a man who can wash anything on earth down with Guinness, preferably in generous quantities.

Steve

[SteveShaw]

Or Doom Bar.

Steve

[Cynth]

What exactly is Doom Bar? This is the second time you have mentioned it.

[Denny]

Sharp's Brewery, Doom Bar
Doom Bar is named after the infamous sandbank at the mouth of the Camel estuary in North Cornwall. There is much legend surrounding the sandbank's origin but the Doom Bar's notoriety is built on the wrecks of a countless number of ships that over the centuries came to grief within the reach.

A fine balanced, spicy beer. Resinous hop, inviting sweet malt and delicate roasted notes.

[Cynth]

A well-presented, stimulating explanation. Picturesque geography, fascinating legend and tantalizing gustatory notes.