Why I deleted the unclothed thread....

jGilder · Post by **jGilder** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 12:58 pm

anniemcu wrote:I don't know, Gilder, me boy, you appear to be dog-goned good at photoshopping.

You thought I did that in Photoshop? That was a professional photo shoot with Nigel and Bruce. They were very enthusiastic and helpful. They have a lot of experience photographing men here in SF.

dubhlinn · Post by **dubhlinn** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 1:00 pm

jGilder wrote:
anniemcu wrote:I don't know, Gilder, me boy, you appear to be dog-goned good at photoshopping.
You thought I did that in Photoshop? That was a professional photo shoot with Nigel and Bruce. They were very enthusiastic and helpful. The have a lot of experience photographing men here in SF.

That's a real beard... ?:boggle:

Slan,
D.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 1:26 pm

Wombat wrote:some of us are wombats.

BigDavy wrote:some of us are whales.

Now I guess a whale can be trained, but having a big enough pool of water for him to swim in could present a problem. A wombat looks like he is happy with straw on a floor, but can he be trained? Anyone seriously looking for a man knows that trainability is one of the most important considerations.

Doug_Tipple · Post by **Doug_Tipple** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 2:10 pm

Cynth wrote:
Anyone seriously looking for a man knows that trainability is one of the most important considerations.

Maybe that is why I am single. The last woman that I lived with liked to hand me little lists of things that she wanted me to do, like build a screened-in back porch, install a new kitchen floor (anyone could do it), put a bathroom with Jacuzi tub in the unfinished basement. I told her that what she really needed to do was to hire a handy man. Needless to say, we are no longer living together, and we both are happier.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 2:49 pm

Wombat wrote:
Cynth wrote:
Is it true all men are dogs?

Joan, St. Botolph St.
No Joan, some of us are wombats.

I think that is a female wombat . . . her name seems to be "Abigail."

Not that that is a bad thing, mind you, . . . merely pointing this out in the interest of scientific accuracy. She's rather dainty . . . charming, in fact.

missy · Post by **missy** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 3:16 pm

Doug_Tipple wrote: I told her that what she really needed to do was to hire a handy man.

According to Jill Conner Browne - The Sweet Potato Queen - there are five men a woman must have in her life:
1) a man who can fix things.
2) a man you can dance with.
3) a man who can pay for things.
4) a man you can talk to.
5) a man to have great sex with.

Now - sometimes a man can be more than one of the above. And, if you notice, all but one of the above functions could also be carried out by gay guys.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 3:35 pm

Doug wrote:I told her that what she really needed to do was to hire a handy man.

A handy man is a good solution to other problems too. My husband and I tried to work together on some fix-up jobs around the house and we just couldn't see eye to eye on a darn thing. I am very fussy (I admit it) and he isn't (he admits it). There were a number of very tense discussions. Early in our marriage I thought we should be able to work this problem out. Well, we did. We hire a handy man.

jGilder · Post by **jGilder** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 3:41 pm

The perfect musician's wife is:

1) a woman who can fix things.
2) a woman you can dance with.
3) a woman who can pay for things.
4) a woman you can talk to.
5) a woman to have great sex with.

missy · Post by **missy** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 3:49 pm

well the perfect musician's husband would be all the things Jill said, plus be a darn good roadie, too!!!!!

scottielvr · Post by **scottielvr** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 3:59 pm

Cynth wrote:A handy man is a good solution to other problems too.

My Handy Man

Whoever said a good man was hard to find,
Postively, absolutely sure was blind;
I found the best that ever was,
Here's just some of the things he does:

He shakes my ashes, greases my griddle,
Churns my butter, strokes my fiddle;
My man is such a handy man!

He threads my needle, creams my wheat,
Heats my heater, chops my meat;
My man is such a handy man!

Don't care if you believe or not,
He sure is good to have around;
Why, when my furnace gets too hot,
He's right there to turn my damper down!

For everything he's got a scheme;
You ought to see his new starter
that he uses on my machine;
My man is such a handy man!

He flaps my flapjacks, cleans off the table;
He feeds the horses in my stable.
My man is such a handy man!
He's God's gift!

Sometimes he's up long before dawn,
Busy trimming the rough edges off my lawn;
Oooh, you can't get away from it!
He's such a handy man!

Never has a single thing to say,
While he's working hard;
I wish that you could see the way
He handles my front yard!

My ice don't get a chance to melt away,
He sees that I get that old fresh piece every day;
Lord, that man sure is such a handy man!

(sung by Ethel Waters and others; lyrics by ? Big Mama Thornton)

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:19 pm

Cynth wrote:
Anyone seriously looking for a man knows that trainability is one of the most important considerations.

Well, they're not, and one might as well accept that up front.

Doug_Tipple wrote: The last woman that I lived with liked to hand me little lists of things that she wanted me to do, like build a screened-in back porch, install a new kitchen floor (anyone could do it), put a bathroom with Jacuzi tub in the unfinished basement. I told her that what she really needed to do was to hire a handy man. Needless to say, we are no longer living together, and we both are happier.

I never really comprehended that female stereotype. I'm sure there are grounds for its being a stereotype, but I kind of figured long ago that if I'm going to expect someone to tolerate me, whatever I am (in this case, an anxiety-prone writer who may never experience financial success, but will die that way, if need be) I'd best accept the fact that he's a talented, but attention-deficient piddler. I take great exception to anyone telling me what I should do, and I hope I don't do it myself.

Doug_Tipple · Post by **Doug_Tipple** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:51 pm

jGilder wrote:The perfect musician's wife is:

1) a woman who can fix things.
2) a woman you can dance with.
3) a woman who can pay for things.
4) a woman you can talk to.
5) a woman to have great sex with.

Number six on the list is rather obvious.
6) a woman to play sax with.

Cynth · Post by **Cynth** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 5:13 pm

scottielvr according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handyman,

Some handymen have more skills than others and perform more than just a variety of small jobs and odd jobs....

A good handyman is skillful, dexterous, practical, clever, skilled, able, competent, and proficient in whatever it is he is doing....

When looking for a handyman for odd jobs, more than anything, you want to make sure that you have someone you can trust, who does dependable work, and you are comfortable with....

emmline, I haven't myself run across a couple that operated this way and I'm glad you escaped Doug. In truth, I am such a slacker that it would really take a lot of nerve on my part to suggest to my husband that he do more than he already does, which is actually a great deal! I think the mutual tolerance thing, putting oneself in the other's place, is hard to learn but the most important thing. I started asking myself "How would I like to be married to myself?" It made me start keeping my mouth shut a little more.

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 6:29 pm

jGilder wrote:The perfect musician's wife is:

1) a woman who can fix things.
2) a woman you can dance with.
3) a woman who can pay for things.
4) a woman you can talk to.
5) a woman to have great sex with.

Ah, umm, . . . <hem!> . . . I know I'm good for at least 4 of the above . . . so why am I still single?????

jGilder · Post by **jGilder** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 6:38 pm

Lambchop wrote:
jGilder wrote:The perfect musician's wife is:

1) a woman who can fix things.
2) a woman you can dance with.
3) a woman who can pay for things.
4) a woman you can talk to.
5) a woman to have great sex with.
Ah, umm, . . . <hem!> . . . I know I'm good for at least 4 of the above . . . so why am I still single?????

Uh... you haven't met any single, homeless musicians?