Dolphins: shotgun or rifle?

Claus von Weiss · Post by **Claus von Weiss** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 7:50 pm

PS: Cheers, Cranberry, wherever you are.

gonzo914 · Post by **gonzo914** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 7:53 pm

The best way to take a dolphin is with with a deep-sea rod and reel and one of those gaff-like hooks the size of a toddler's arm. Some folks lke to bait cast, but you can also just troll off the back of the boat. There's more time for drinking beer if you're trolling; bait casting is too much like work.

Spotted owl makes pretty good bait, but not as good as pinkie panda babies.

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:50 am

Shouldn't you suspend a ball or hoop on a pole over the side of the boat?

When they jump, that's your moment.

I'm planning to go swimming with dolphins on my next Stateside trip! I'd better watch for inebriated Flanums!

jbarter · Post by **jbarter** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:02 am

Dynamite. Always dynamite.

djm · Post by **djm** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:05 am

Only nancy-boys use firearms on dolphins. A real man just clubs them into submission.

djm

jbarter · Post by **jbarter** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:07 am

Ya ever tried ta grin down a dolphin?

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:12 am

Sick, absolutely sick. Aren't you all aware that Flipper died for your sins? Yeeeeeesh! OK smileys, in unison now, a 1, a 2, a 3....

OnTheMoor · Post by **OnTheMoor** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:15 am

Which tour company?

One of times I was in Ireland we took a tour bus and stopped by a bay. The operator, a marine biologist by profession, said he used to take people out to see them, but then the town folk got wind of it and were pissed that the company wasn't giving them a cut. (he claimed it wasn't officially part of the tour, he just liked doing it) Sure enough, a couple of old boys stood next to the bus with shotguns. We never left the bus.

missy · Post by **missy** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:15 am

"Nuke a Gay Baby Dolphin for Jesus"

a bumpersticker guarenteed to offend everyone!

Cayden · Post by **Cayden** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:30 am

OnTheMoor wrote:Which tour company?

<a href="www.dolphinwatch.ie">Dolphinwatch Carrigaholt</a> is the best one I think. No shotguns, loads of dolphins (one I 'shot' six weeks ago) :

We have a single solitary dolphin in a little bay near us, he swims with you and plays with people out in canoes. I was talking to a woman there early this week and she said" he's gay, that's why the other dolphins chucked him out of the group' I asked her did she really believe that 'course, why else would he be on his own here swimming with you guys'.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 10:12 am

Hard to argue with that brand of logic.

flanum · Post by **flanum** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 12:44 pm

Claus von Weiss wrote:Well, either you've got a very strange sense of humour (and this is supposed to be kind of a "fun"- thread) or you are a very sick person to my point of view.

It's easy to feel sorry for the dolphins, it's pretty hard to feel sorry for you. I try both anyway.

Claus

Yes its "fun" thread.
My dad used to catch rabbits years ago, he used to put carrots on big rocks and dowse them in pepper. When the rabbit went to eat them he would sneeze and smash his head on the rock and my dad would then go round lifting all these unconscious bunnies!

Scott McCallister · Post by **Scott McCallister** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:03 pm

Bagging a dolphin is easy if you use the right tools
you need:

and

Lure the dolphin up to the boat with the herring. When he's close enough jam the can of red bull into the little bung hole in the back of his head. Go have a beer. A few minutes later it'll be floating bellie up behind the boat. No fuss no muss.

perrins57 · Post by **perrins57** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:56 pm

Claus von Weiss wrote:Well, either you've got a very strange sense of humour (and this is supposed to be kind of a "fun"- thread) or you are a very sick person to my point of view.

It's easy to feel sorry for the dolphins, it's pretty hard to feel sorry for you. I try both anyway.

Claus

Thats unusual, a German with a problem understanding humour!

Lambchop · Post by **Lambchop** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:04 pm

You did this deliberately to upset me! Shame, shame, shame!

Just don't plan on coming to the US with that kind of attitude! Joke about something like that on your Disney-Fun trip to Florida and you'll set half the children around you to wailing. One quarter of the remainder will be phoning up the police--the more astute ones will call the Fish and Game Commission directly (criminal offense and a large fine)--and you'll pray that they arrive quickly to save you from the remaining quarter, who will be beating you to a bloody pulp. Which you would well deserve.

Dolphins are our friends.

They are mammals, and we do not eat them or harm them in any way, but there is a fish sometimes called a "dolphin.". Restaurants here have learned to call it "mahi-mahi" in order to avoid Hideous Scenes. "MOM! THEY KILLED FLIPPER! AAAUUUUGGHHH!"