Is there any whistle Humor or Jokes?

BrassBlower · Post by **BrassBlower** » Sun Jun 09, 2002 8:51 pm

A whistle player walks past this pub.

That's right, it CAN happen!

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Sun Jun 09, 2002 9:09 pm

A whistle player locked his keys in the car. He had to use his low D whistle to break the glass, to get the bodhran player out.

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Q: Why did the whistle player leave a Bodhran on his dash board?

A: He wanted to park in the handicapped spot.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Q: Why did the people of Hamlen not grab their children and stop them from following the Pied Piper out of town, when he played his whistle?

A: It was worth it to get some peace and quiet.

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Walden
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<marquee>And even things without life giving sound, whether pipe or harp, except they give a distinction in the sounds, how shall it be known what is piped or harped? --1Cor.14:7</marquee>

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Walden on 2002-06-10 01:01 ]</font>

TnWhistler · Post by **TnWhistler** » Sun Jun 09, 2002 10:13 pm

How do you get a whistle player to play softer???

Put music in front of him.
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Definition of "Perfect Pitch"

Distance you can throw a Low Whistle
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How does a whistle player bet netter gas mileage out of his car?

Take the Pizza sign off of it.
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Tipper for Bodhran player to use, suggested by other sessioneers?

A butcher knife.
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Whistle player goes into a pub during a session... "anyone wanna hear a good bodhran joke?". A guy says "allrite, lad, watch yerself, I'm a bodhran player and so are me three mates over by the bar. Now do you wanna tell yer bodhran joke?" the Whistle player says, "no, not if I gotta explain it four times!"

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Mon Jun 10, 2002 8:08 am

On 2002-06-10 00:13, TnWhistler wrote:

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Tipper for Bodhran player to use, suggested by other sessioneers?

A butcher knife.
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That alludes to a quote from Seamus Ennis, the great Uillean piper, who said that the best way to play a bodhran was with a pen knife.

Gary · Post by **Gary** » Mon Jun 10, 2002 8:34 am

Q: What's the difference between a cheap whistle and a lawnmower?

A: You can tune a lawn mower.

Isilwen · Post by **Isilwen** » Mon Jun 10, 2002 8:50 am

Here's a variation on the Saxaphone joke:

What's the difference between a Low Whistle/Tinwhistle and a Lawn Mower??

1. Lawn mowers sound better in small ensembles.
2. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a Lawn mower and don't return it.
3. The grip.

And:

What's the difference between a Low Whistle and a chain saw??

The exhaust.

U2 · Post by U2 » Mon Jun 10, 2002 1:38 pm

After years of no gigs, a whistle player gets himself invited to play a New Year's eve gig with some mates. He is so excited he leaves County Down early in the day and arrives in County Cavan at the bar before it opens. He figures: No harm done, I now know the location of the pub so I'll grab a nice meal. While he's eating at a hotel he suddenly realises he's left his prized, imported American, hand-made whistle sitting on the front seat so he jumps from the table and runs to the car, but too late. The passenger window is smashed and as he looks in he sees eight more whistles have been thrown on the seat.

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Mon Jun 10, 2002 2:04 pm

They are passing around a hat at the local pub, asking for a shilling for a recently-departed whistle player's burial. A visiting fiddler throws in two shilliings, saying: "Here are two shillings, bury another one."

Kendra · Post by **Kendra** » Mon Jun 10, 2002 2:52 pm

rossmpfo13 wrote (and I assume he's a piper):

If I was thrown from a tall building, I would play Ashokan Farewell by Jay Ungar.

And the whistle player would play Carolan's Farewell to Music on a High D and then a Low D.

Caj · Post by **Caj** » Mon Jun 10, 2002 4:29 pm

That alludes to a quote from Seamus Ennis, the great Uillean piper, who said that the best way to play a bodhran was with a pen knife.

Actually, I've heard that said of the accordion---which is true, because of the way the bass buttons stick.

My ma once found a piano accordion at a garage sale for $30, and it looked like the previous owner took an icepick to the left side. I could tell what keys he played in by what buttons were scarred the most.

Patrick · Post by **Patrick** » Tue Jun 11, 2002 1:02 pm

Why do bagpipers (whistlers/bodhran players/banjoists/etc.) have such big families?

Thier wives will do ANYTHING to make them stop playing!

-Patrick

U2 · Post by U2 » Tue Jun 11, 2002 3:13 pm

A man walks into a music shoppe in Dublin and inquires about purchasing the red low whistle and the white accordian.

The fella behind the counter says, "you must be a bohdran player" to which the customer responds, "I yam, how'd ya know?" The fella behind the counter says, "Well I might be convinced to sell the fire extinguisher, but the radiator stays."

Gary · Post by **Gary** » Wed Jun 12, 2002 7:49 am

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your back porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

amanderthad · Post by **amanderthad** » Wed Jun 12, 2002 9:49 am

Three Irish Musicians on their way to a session, decide to take a short cut through the local cemetery. As they walk they begin to take note of some of the grave stones. the fiddle player calls over to his mates and remarks "look at this one here, says this lad Sean lived to be 72, a respectable age for a man wouldn't you say". The box player then replies "tis a good number, this old man though, name of Patrick, he lived to be 84. Now that is truly an impressive life span, may God grant me the same". The Whistle player stands in front of a stone, scratching his head when he called out with awe "Jaysus, this man beats both men combined. If I did not see it with my own eyes I wouldn’t believe it, but it says right here Miles from Dublin...152"!

Rod Sprague · Post by **Rod Sprague** » Wed Jun 12, 2002 9:19 pm

I purchased a C Clarke in 2001, so I did the logical thing and named it Arthur.

I've noticed that bohdran players get the same sort of jokes that rock drummers get directed at them.

How do you tell if the percussionist's platform is level?
They drool equally from both sides of their mouth.

What do you do with a percussionist that practices the subtleties of dynamics and blending into an ensemble?
For God sakes, keep them by whatever reasonable means you can!

Quoting U2 . . ."The passenger window is smashed and as he looks in he sees eight more whistles have been thrown on the seat." And quoting Walden, "A whistle player locked his keys in the car. He had to use his low D whistle to break the glass, to get the bodhran player out." So whistle players should simply not lock their cars, especially if they have WhOA or take bohdran players with them or simply don't want to keep replacing windows!