How many does it take jokes

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Nanohedron
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Post by Nanohedron »

jbarter wrote:jsluder, that has to be the best post I've read all year. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Second that. :lol:
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Denny
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Post by Denny »

Nanohedron wrote:
jbarter wrote:jsluder, that has to be the best post I've read all year. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Second that. :lol:
Yes! Very nicely done!
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GaryKelly
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Post by GaryKelly »

Nanohedron wrote:
jbarter wrote:jsluder, that has to be the best post I've read all year. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Second that. :lol:
John... that post was the dog's bollocks. :lol:

Who is that guy?
Image "It might be a bit better to tune to one of my fiddle's open strings, like A, rather than asking me for an F#." - Martin Milner
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emmline
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Post by emmline »

jsluder wrote:Q:
How many C&F Forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A9:
A chiffer a light bulb was screwing,
When another said "What are you doing?
You can't JUST light the Pub
Because this is the rub:
All the pipers will soon begin booing!

A10:
One to do the work.
Another to point out that the manufacturing of lightbulbs is
inherently evil and cruel.

A11:
Only one. But not until you turn off Riverdance dammit.

A12:
We don't need to change it.
It can be fixed. All we need is a little blu-tack,
some superglue, and a bit of duct tape.

A13:
Are you suggesting my bab...(edit: good emm: "give me that mouse!", bad emm: "no! it's funny!", good emm: "funny isn't the issue!" bad emm: "give that back!"...the epic battle continues...)
Last edited by emmline on Fri Jun 24, 2005 7:55 am, edited 3 times in total.
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perrins57
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Post by perrins57 »

Very good Emm :thumbsup:
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King, Jr.


(Name's Mark btw)
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Post by dubhlinn »

How many Country singers.......

Four. One to hold the bulb and three to sing about how much they miss the old one.

How many Folk singers......

Four. One to hold the bulb and three to sing about how much better the old one was.

Slan,
D.
And many a poor man that has roved,
Loved and thought himself beloved,
From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes.

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I.D.10-t
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Post by I.D.10-t »

One.


How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
"Be not deceived by the sweet words of proverbial philosophy. Sugar of lead is a poison."
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jsluder
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Post by jsluder »

GaryKelly wrote:
Nanohedron wrote:
jbarter wrote:jsluder, that has to be the best post I've read all year. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Second that. :lol:
John... that post was the dog's bollocks. :lol:

Who is that guy?
Aw gee... Thanks, everyone! :oops:

Great continuation, Em! :lol:
Giles: "We few, we happy few."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
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jsluder
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Post by jsluder »

I.D.10-t wrote:One.


How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
Ooh! Jeopardy! "I'll take Lightbulbs for 100, Alex."

A: It takes two.

<Ding!>
Q: How many gameshow contestants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

<Bzzt!> Nope, sorry.
Giles: "We few, we happy few."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
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Nanohedron
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Tell us something.: Been a fluter, citternist, and uilleann piper; committed now to the way of the harp.

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Location: Lefse country

Post by Nanohedron »

Many how does dyslexics take it change to lightbulb a?
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jsluder
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Post by jsluder »

Nanohedron wrote:Many how does dyslexics take it change to lightbulb a?
Wot. Neo to chnage it, neo to sya "Trun it teh othre yaw!"
Giles: "We few, we happy few."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
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Post by BrassBlower »

OutOfBreath wrote:How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A2: One, five, one, three, four, one, four, four, one, five, one, six, five, two, five, seven....

A3 (for Doors fans only): None, Ray Manzarek can do it with his keyboard.

Bonus question 1: How do you get a whistle to sound like a French horn?
Answer: Stick your finger in the end and play a lot of wrong notes.

Bonus question 2: What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
Answer: They're actually the same. The violin just looks smaller in comparison to the player's swollen head.
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Post by emmline »

GaryKelly wrote:Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT! And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS...

Gary. This is true PMS or not. Anyone would get testy about it.
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Post by BoneQuint »

How many french horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he cracks three first.


How many oboe players does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but she has to suck on the end of the bulb for five minutes first.


How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to change it, and one to tell him how Earl Scruggs did it better first.


How many harmonica players in a jam session does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he has to go through his bag trying several different sizes until he finds one that fits first.


How many pipers does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if the humidity is right. And the socket is adjusted correctly. And the bulb is properly warmed up. And the ladder has been oiled recently. Otherwise he'll have to make a new bulb by hand.
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perrins57
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Post by perrins57 »

Q. How many from the Bush administration does it take to change a lighbulb?

A. Change a light bulb? Hell lets invade Iran, they got lightbulbs.


Q. How many Blairites does it take to change a lighbulb?

A. Whatever the Bush administration says.
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King, Jr.


(Name's Mark btw)
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