Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT! And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...
I'm sorry...what did you ask me?
How many does it take jokes
"It might be a bit better to tune to one of my fiddle's open strings, like A, rather than asking me for an F#." - Martin Milner
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Cayden
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bradhurley
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And the usual Comhaltas one:
How many Comhaltas members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: CHANGE?:o
And my current favourite:
How many free-market economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: None...if the light bulb needs changing, the market will take care of it.
(So that's why those economists are so in the dark!)
How many Comhaltas members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: CHANGE?:o
And my current favourite:
How many free-market economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: None...if the light bulb needs changing, the market will take care of it.
(So that's why those economists are so in the dark!)
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perrins57
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how many . . .
How many Phil Hardy's does it take to change a lightbulb?
Got to www.Kerrywhistles.com where you'll find the answer and a superb range of whistles!
(only joking Phil)
Got to www.Kerrywhistles.com where you'll find the answer and a superb range of whistles!
(only joking Phil)
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
(Name's Mark btw)
(Name's Mark btw)
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Flyingcursor
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How many Corporate CEO's does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just send the job overseas.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old
bulb;
23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry;
16 to cut funding for alternative lighting research and
development;
34 to cut the tax rate on lightbulbs;
53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb;
and 41 to talk with defense contractors about using night-vision
gear instead.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 24 to block the Clinton investigation, and 1 to fire a
designated nominee;
46 to increase regulation the lightbulb industry, and investigate
import balance;
32 to increase funding for alternative lighting research and
development;
68 to increase the tax rate on lightbulbs;
106 to cancel the block grant to the states and create a federal
Department of Light Bulb Investigations; and 82 to cancel the
contract with defense contractors about everlasting light bulbs.
None, they just send the job overseas.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old
bulb;
23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry;
16 to cut funding for alternative lighting research and
development;
34 to cut the tax rate on lightbulbs;
53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb;
and 41 to talk with defense contractors about using night-vision
gear instead.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 24 to block the Clinton investigation, and 1 to fire a
designated nominee;
46 to increase regulation the lightbulb industry, and investigate
import balance;
32 to increase funding for alternative lighting research and
development;
68 to increase the tax rate on lightbulbs;
106 to cancel the block grant to the states and create a federal
Department of Light Bulb Investigations; and 82 to cancel the
contract with defense contractors about everlasting light bulbs.
I'm no longer trying a new posting paradigm
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Flyingcursor
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Q. How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write
WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...
Q. How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send it a bulb change message.
A. 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write
WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...
Q. How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send it a bulb change message.
I'm no longer trying a new posting paradigm
Q:
How many C&F Forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1:
That's the wrong question.
You should consider how your question
impacts the existential being of
those who have chosen to remain
nonmembers. Ask not how many members
but rather how many readers.
To do otherwise will result
in everyone taking up boxing.
A2:
Check out this article; you won't find this in the mainstream media:
C&F Refuses to Disclose How Many Members it Takes to Change a Lightbulb
Pomeranian Socialist Gazette - June 23
In an unprecedented act of defiance today, the Chiff & Fipple Forum moderators refused to admit how many forum members it takes to change a lightbulb. This attutude of superiority on the part of Dale "Undisputed" Wisely has sparked outrage among banjo, drum and ukelele players worldwide, who claim that they have always born the brunt of lightbulb changing in the world of music.
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Where's the outrage?
A3:
Typical. Post a claim from some dog of a paper and then expect everyone to just accept it. Commie.
A4:
At least I posted my source. Rather than just attacking me, why not refute my claim with some sources of your own, you right-wing wacko.
A5:
Can't we all just get along?
A6:
Change is so antagonistic. (Oops, wrong thread.)
A7:
A8:
Geez, does every thread have to get hijacked?
How many C&F Forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1:
That's the wrong question.
You should consider how your question
impacts the existential being of
those who have chosen to remain
nonmembers. Ask not how many members
but rather how many readers.
To do otherwise will result
in everyone taking up boxing.
A2:
Check out this article; you won't find this in the mainstream media:
C&F Refuses to Disclose How Many Members it Takes to Change a Lightbulb
Pomeranian Socialist Gazette - June 23
In an unprecedented act of defiance today, the Chiff & Fipple Forum moderators refused to admit how many forum members it takes to change a lightbulb. This attutude of superiority on the part of Dale "Undisputed" Wisely has sparked outrage among banjo, drum and ukelele players worldwide, who claim that they have always born the brunt of lightbulb changing in the world of music.
-----
Where's the outrage?
A3:
Typical. Post a claim from some dog of a paper and then expect everyone to just accept it. Commie.
A4:
At least I posted my source. Rather than just attacking me, why not refute my claim with some sources of your own, you right-wing wacko.
A5:
Can't we all just get along?
A6:
Change is so antagonistic. (Oops, wrong thread.)
A7:
A8:
Geez, does every thread have to get hijacked?
Giles: "We few, we happy few."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
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perrins57
- Posts: 637
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how many . . . .
How many Dale Wisely's does it take to change a lighbulb?
He doesn't do lighbulbs, but if he did he would be the "Undisputed King of Internet Lighbulb Changing Journalism"
He doesn't do lighbulbs, but if he did he would be the "Undisputed King of Internet Lighbulb Changing Journalism"
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
(Name's Mark btw)
(Name's Mark btw)
Here ya go: Lightbulbjokes.com. They've even got a Star Trek section. 
Giles: "We few, we happy few."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
Spike: "We band of buggered."
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OutOfBreath
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five, one to change the bulb and four to keep the lead guitarist from hogging all the light...
Five, one to change the bulb and four to keep the lead guitarist from hogging all the light...
John
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The Internet is wonderful. Surely there have always been thousands of people deeply concerned about my sex life and the quality of my septic tank but before the Internet I never heard from any of them.
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The Internet is wonderful. Surely there have always been thousands of people deeply concerned about my sex life and the quality of my septic tank but before the Internet I never heard from any of them.
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Random notes
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