English Will Be The European Language

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Jack
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English Will Be The European Language

Post by Jack »

This is so funny. :)

Sorry to all those who might've seen this before.

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TOP NOTICE - VERY URGENT

ENGLISH WILL BE THE EUROPEAN LANGUAGE!!!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been

reached to adopt ENGLISH as the preferred language for European

communications, rather than GERMAN, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English

spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased

plan for what will be known as Euro English (Euro for short). In the first

year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".



Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up

konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing

publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be

replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to

reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments

will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a

deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of

silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by

"z" and "w" by "v" . During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd

from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer

kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten

styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it izi tu

understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru. !!!
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Tony McGinley
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Post by Tony McGinley »

I dont want to seem as if I had a poker up my butt and this issue - or give you any grief - BUT the "JOKE" might just come over as offensive to some people - especially Germans.

I am Irish and there are a lot of jokes out there that play on the Irish persons use of English - and I find that the telling of this type of joke often says something about an underlying attitude or even a prejudice in the teller -something I occasionally find disagreeable.

I really like the mission statement on your website:

What are we trying to achieve? A revolution in thinking and feeling, an affirmation of peace and nonviolence, an infinite gentleness, a value for the life, happiness and welfare of every person, and all the political and structural changes that will bring this about.
Tony McGinley

<i><b>"The well-being of mankind,
its peace and security,
are unattainable unless and until
its unity is firmly established."<i><b>
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jbarter
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Post by jbarter »

The first time I came across this it was shown to me by some German friends who thought it was hilarious.
They also had a habit of throwing towels over our wives and girlfriends. They claimed it was German wife swapping. :D
May the joy of music be ever thine.
(BTW, my name is John)
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Flyingcursor
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Post by Flyingcursor »

Mark Twain did something similar regarding changing the alphabet but I can't find it. I'll keep looking.
I'm no longer trying a new posting paradigm
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Jack
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Post by Jack »

Tony McGinley wrote:I dont want to seem as if I had a poker up my butt and this issue - or give you any grief - BUT the "JOKE" might just come over as offensive to some people - especially Germans.
I know. I'm learning German and this was circulating around some German-speaking newsgroups I'm on. :P
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dubhlinn
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Post by dubhlinn »

:lol:
Hilarious.
As an Irishman living in England ,I get to hear things like "O Jayzuz now Paddy,Top of de mornin' te ye.." and suchlike, twenty times a day.The people who fire this stuff at me are all very good friends and workmates.Racism is about attitude and the intent behind the words.
Anything else is just banter.

Anyway,I give back as good as I get :wink:

Slan,
D.
And many a poor man that has roved,
Loved and thought himself beloved,
From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes.

W.B.Yeats
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izzarina
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Post by izzarina »

dubhlinn wrote::lol:
Hilarious.
As an Irishman living in England ,I get to hear things like "O Jayzuz now Paddy,Top of de mornin' te ye.."
I didn't realize that your name was Paddy, Dub.


sorry....maybe I should just go for that second cup of coffee after all? ;)
Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent
When I paint my masterpiece.
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dubhlinn
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Post by dubhlinn »

izzarina wrote:
dubhlinn wrote::lol:
Hilarious.
As an Irishman living in England ,I get to hear things like "O Jayzuz now Paddy,Top of de mornin' te ye.."
I didn't realize that your name was Paddy, Dub.


sorry....maybe I should just go for that second cup of coffee after all? ;)

I get called worse things than Paddy I can tell ye,a lot worse :wink:

Slan,
D.
And many a poor man that has roved,
Loved and thought himself beloved,
From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes.

W.B.Yeats
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Jack
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Post by Jack »

dubhlinn wrote:
izzarina wrote:
dubhlinn wrote::lol:
Hilarious.
As an Irishman living in England ,I get to hear things like "O Jayzuz now Paddy,Top of de mornin' te ye.."
I didn't realize that your name was Paddy, Dub.


sorry....maybe I should just go for that second cup of coffee after all? ;)

I get called worse things than Paddy I can tell ye,a lot worse :wink:

Slan,
D.
Late for supper? Or do they even have that saying across the pond? :P
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lixnaw
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Post by lixnaw »

dubhlinn wrote:
izzarina wrote:
dubhlinn wrote::lol:
Hilarious.
As an Irishman living in England ,I get to hear things like "O Jayzuz now Paddy,Top of de mornin' te ye.."
I didn't realize that your name was Paddy, Dub.


sorry....maybe I should just go for that second cup of coffee after all? ;)

I get called worse things than Paddy I can tell ye,a lot worse :wink:

Slan,
D.
Hi Mary! :)
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dubhlinn
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Post by dubhlinn »

lixnaw wrote:
dubhlinn wrote:
izzarina wrote: I didn't realize that your name was Paddy, Dub.


sorry....maybe I should just go for that second cup of coffee after all? ;)

I get called worse things than Paddy I can tell ye,a lot worse :wink:

Slan,
D.
Hi Mary! :)

That's Irish Mary to you boyo

:P

Slan,
D. :lol:
And many a poor man that has roved,
Loved and thought himself beloved,
From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes.

W.B.Yeats
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Jeff Stallard
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Post by Jeff Stallard »

Tony McGinley wrote:BUT the "JOKE" might just come over as offensive to some people - especially Germans.
I'd like a show of hands please. Who here does NOT understand that some people might not like certain jokes? Anyone? Don't be shy. Who here does NOT understand that some people might be offended by some jokes. You in the back...oh, you're just scratching your head. I see. Anyone at all? No?
"Reality is the computer hardware, and religions are the operating systems: abstractions that allow us to interact with, and draw meaning from, a reality that would otherwise be incomprehensible."
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Jack
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Post by Jack »

Jeff Stallard wrote:
Tony McGinley wrote:BUT the "JOKE" might just come over as offensive to some people - especially Germans.
I'd like a show of hands please. Who here does NOT understand that some people might not like certain jokes? Anyone? Don't be shy. Who here does NOT understand that some people might be offended by some jokes. You in the back...oh, you're just scratching your head. I see. Anyone at all? No?
People are always offended at something. That's the nature of humor. It walks the line...
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missy
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Post by missy »

"Who here does NOT understand that some people might not like certain jokes?"


You know - I may be weird (shuddup, Fly....), but I find the FUNNIEST jokes, stories, etc. are those that I can actually identify with because they concern something about me that is actually true.
I LOVE Jeff Foxworthy and his "you might be a Red Neck" stuff - because it's so darn true! I know SO many people - family included - that fit so many of his sayings.
Having lived around "handymen" all my life - Red Green totally cracks me up.
Jokes about short people, etc. - most have some truth to them.

I always feel that if you can't laugh at yourself - you can't laugh with or at anyone else either. And I do a LOT of stuff that can be laughed at - usually not on purpose.

Missy
Missy

"When facts are few, experts are many"

http://www.strothers.com
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emmline
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Post by emmline »

Cranberry wrote:
People are always offended at something. That's the nature of humor. It walks the line...

True. But who'd want to be without it?
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