Instruments you can't play and still be cool

Tyghress · Post by **Tyghress** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 9:38 am

I laughed myself silly when I first read the list, because I interpreted it entirely differently than the rest of you! In my mind the question was What instruments can you hold and pretend to play, but not really be able to play, and still be cool just because you're holding 'em and pretending!

TonyHiggins · Post by **TonyHiggins** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 10:17 am

I don't know if I should be bummed or not. I played banjo for years (haven't in awhile, decided to focus on whistle). I'm planning on taking up bagpipes (uilleann). Never played accordian, but noodled around on one a few times just to check it out. I've been called a nerd kiddingly by my 16yr old son, with dead seriousness by my 13yr old daughter. Part of it is my propensity for plaid shirts. (Been wearing them since I was a toddler. Blame my mom.)

Now, really, no one has ever torn their shirt and/or screamed in my presence (while I was playing music). Really, Dale.

So, anyway, 2 out of the 3 instruments from hell. Now you got me thinking about taking up the accordian just to be well rounded.
Tony

Feadan · Post by **Feadan** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 10:40 am

My father once commented that the true definition of a gentleman was one who knows how to play the accordian, but refrains from diong so.

I've heard the same joke applied to bagpipes as well. Brings to mind a T-shirt I saw at a Hurdy-gurdy gathering. It read,"Accordions don't play Lady of Spain...people do".

Blaine McArthur · Post by **Blaine McArthur** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 10:48 am

1 Tony, are guys who quote Zen sayings allowed to wear plaid shirts?

2 Does anyone know if Ernie Ball (guitar string maker) still makes the "Play An Accordian, Go To Jail" t-shirts?

3 Is it uncool to e-mail people who post lists of who and what is cool or uncool and call them pretentious morons?

4 I just emailed pink@sfchronicle.com and said that people who post lists of....... are pretentiopus morons.

5 I also included the bit about Jimi Hendrix and the Kazoo, etc.

Stay cool

Blaine

WyoBadger · Post by **WyoBadger** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 11:04 am

It greatly surprises me that the alto clarinet has yet to come up in this conversation... (:

Tom

Jens_Hoppe · Post by **Jens_Hoppe** » Thu Aug 16, 2001 1:53 am

tyghress,

LOL, I first interpreted it the same way. In my mind it made perfect sense: Yes, even if you can't play the bagpipe, just holding one and pretending is pretty cool.

Jens

mike.r · Post by **mike.r** » Thu Aug 16, 2001 12:33 pm

Last night I played Flight of the bumblebee in a kareoke bar on my low D thingamijig while striking a few cool poses.Afterwards someone asked me if I was that guy in Feet of flames but I just ignored him so he would think I was famous or something.

Mike

celt5 · Post by **celt5** » Fri Aug 17, 2001 9:36 am

Hey! Who are they to say that the flute isn't cool? I love my flute...er...flutes actually. Oh dear god! I think my whistle obsession has begun including flutes as well!

brianormond · Post by **brianormond** » Sun May 19, 2002 10:43 pm

Hey-Lets not get down too hard on accordionistas! One of my favorite non-whistle musical idols is the great
Flaco Jimenez, a Norteno-style accordion player of superb provenance,subtlety and skill. -A son of the seminal Norteno musician Santiago Jimenez, Flaco was a part of the ultimate Tex-Mex band, The Texas Tornados, along with Doug Sahm,
Augie Myers and Freddy Fender. -A listen to his session work on many Ry Cooder cuts and on the Tornado's "She Never Spoke Spanish To Me" might convince you! He plays the three-row diatonic button accordion usually. -Believe me, if
he played "Lady of Spain", the accordion
would never have been discounted as an annoying instrument.

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Sun May 19, 2002 11:36 pm

You can take all the post-modern nihilists and their cool talk and shove 'em where the sun don't shine. Hey, to them, the son of God isn't cool either and he was the most righteous dude who ever walked the planet as far as I'm concerned (I know, keep religion off the Forum but dang it).They hate sincere, genuine and forgiving natures because they aren't IRONIC enough. For a shining moment after 9/11 it seemed that Irony was "dead" but its demise was greatly exaggerated and the little pissants just had to hide out for a few months until they popped back out in places like SFGate and Salon (Village Voice still around?). I live around here so I know about these black-clad types and their upward rolling eyes. It was fun to say "Newt Gingrich" for a while just to see if the eyeballs would actually stick up there.

Years ago, in the heyday of underground comix out here in the Bay Area, a truly unique human creature named R. Crumb wrote the final description of this phenomenon (the THREADKILLER of his day):

"Cool and un-cool and what's-in, what's-out lists, mental masturbation of the bourgeoisie." He was right then and right now.

But semi-seriously, folks and I wanna tell ya, I have met people who don't like bagpipes and they seem to be one of two things:
They either can't or won't honestly deal with the physiological effects of the pipes notes, which I swear penetrate the mind and body like nothing else, except maybe the high-pitched squeal given off by dying tvs,

-or-

Reincarnated people who probably died by a Scots hand or current Brit-blooded who have ancestral/cultural hatred of Scots in general (yes this is really reachin' but we have fun here on the Forum). I am always intrigued by bagpipe-haters because they can't tell me why they don't like 'em. Hey, I KNOW why I don't like eggplant for instance and can describe it.

You'll notice they always hate highland pipes cause they aren't educated enough to even know what uillean pipes are.

Insult bagpipes and you p.o. the Weekender.

And I know about all the banjo/accordion-hating blabla, to heck with 'em (sorry Dale). People enjoy their music and I thank God for every note of music on this planet that is expressed with love and humanity (notice I give this qualifier to exempt muzak from my benevolence).

Now, haggis, that's a different story, but I still will not say UNCOOL! I don't like put-downs of the non-ironic people.

Smile today and enjoy tomorrow.

[ This Message was edited by: The Weekenders on 2002-05-20 10:34 ]

Mastersound · Post by **Mastersound** » Mon May 20, 2002 1:54 am

On one of my less visited and updated websites at somethingabout.net/ericclapton/ there's a transcript of an interview from Australian 60 Minutes with Eric Clapton. He says (in part):
60 Minutes: What is it about the guitar then? Why that instrument?
EC: I liked, um, trumpet, I liked violin, I liked the piano. Accordian. Well it was a neighbour who had an accordian, which I really liked the look of because it had mother of pearl inlay and it was flashy
and...
60 Minutes: Thank God you didn't stay with that!
EC: I know! I mean can you imagine?

So there you go! EC may have been besotted by the piano accordian and never become a guitarist. To me accordians go with European weddings and that over-rated US tosser who sings "Check It Out" to an accordian backing.

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Mon May 20, 2002 1:58 am

I like accordions and banjoes (I own a 5-stringer), but here's a couple of banjo jokes off Steve Kauffman's site:

A bluegrass band traveling through a foreign country gets arrested for playing western music on the streets. The band is brought before the magistrate and is condemned to death for such an outrageous act. The executioner walks up to the guitar player and asks "Last Request?". The guitar player responds with "Can I have a smoke?". The executioner approachs the banjo player and asks "Last Request?". The banjo player responds "Can I play Foggy Mountain Breakdown one more time?". The executioner approaches the fiddler and asks "Last Request?" to which the fiddler replies "Can you shoot me first?".

A man was approached by a jazz musician and was asked to contribute $20 to help bury a tenor banjo player. The man responded favorably. He said: "here's $40, bury two of them."

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Mon May 20, 2002 4:17 am

I would have thought they meant the silver flute was uncool (there was this time in Band Camp etc.) but I think the wooden flute is ultracool. And reasonably portable too.

How about a list of instruments that don't get used in Irish Music but would be fun if they tried!

Tyghress, you're right, a totally misleading title. Now I don't know what they meant either. What a poor piece of journalism! I think though, that if it meant instruments you can hold just to look cool, bass guitar would be on the list. Especially fretless. Guitars are so overused for looking cool by people who can't play them that I think that's off our new list.
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[ This Message was edited by: Martin Milner on 2002-05-20 06:57 ]

gordontait · Post by **gordontait** » Mon May 20, 2002 6:56 am

I happily play flute, bagpipes, oboe, triangle and kazoo! Does that make me the antithesis of cool?

aderyn_du · Post by **aderyn_du** » Mon May 20, 2002 7:14 am

On 2001-08-14 22:12, Feadan wrote:
P.S. I mean...come on now... the band Abba is cool?!?!?! :roll:

Hey, Dancing Queen...Waterloo... Take A Chance On Me...

Tres cool!!

Oh, and as far as the flute goes... how can one get cooler than Jethro Tull??

Andrea ~*~
who is occasionally stuck in the 70's <g>

[ This Message was edited by: aderyn_cyrdd on 2002-05-20 09:15 ]