Irish Joke Thread in Honour of St Patrick ...

[burnsbyrne]

Pat and Mike were caught in a cloudburst on a Saturday afternoon so they duck into the church to get out of the rain. Pat sees the light over the confessional is on so he says to Mike, "Maybe we should take confession, since we're here. It's been a while, you know." Mike agrees and they both go into the confessional on opposite sides of the priest. Pat kneels down and statrs, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned...." and goes on for several minutes listing his trespasses. When he finishes and hears nothing from the other side of the screen he says, "Father, are you there?" Instead of the priest he hears Mike say, "Looks like he's not here." Pat says, "Where do you think he went?" And Mike replies, "If he heard what I just heard he's gone to call the peelers!"

[Lambchop]

Imagine how hell would break loose if a thread similarly stereotyping, black people, american indians, stupic yanks or whatever would run on the board.

Is there such a thing as a stupid yank joke??? I'd love to hear some! Lord knows we have enough quirks to serve . . .

With the exception of native Americans, everyone in the United States came from somewhere else. We all carry those nationalities and those ethnic ties with us. They are a feature of our lives. We "identify" with them and perceive ourselves to be, still, a member of those ethnic groups.

For us, the Irish aren't just people living in Ireland. There are Irish who live in Ireland and there are Irish expatriates who live here.

When someone asks "what are you," you don't usually reply "an American," but "I'm Irish" or "I'm half Italian and half Greek."

A gentleman who works across the hall from me knows that he is 4% Irish. He's very proud of it. But, he's quick to tell you, since he found out, he's now entitled to tell Irish jokes with impunity.

If you're Italian, you can tell Italian jokes. If you're English, you can tell English jokes, and on and on. There are only a few groups for whom jokes are considered to be offensive, and those are usually groups which have been subjected to racial and/or ethnic indignities in the past. We try to keep the jokes within acceptable social limits.

We're not just Irish on St. Patrick's Day, but all year. It's what we are, if we're Irish. That part of us didn't vanish when our parents or grandparents came here. We're not telling those jokes about the Irish in Ireland, necessarily, but about ourselves.

However, I think we recognize that cultural differences may have made our custom of poking fun at ourselves offensive to others. If I have caused offense to anyone, I'll apologize. I'll delete my post above, too. Stupid Yanks, you know.

Perhaps we should ask Dale to delete the thread.

[anniemcu]

Given that most of the persons posting them have at least some of the green (or is it orange?) blood in their veins, I'd say we're laughing at ourselves,

I do thank you for standing up and saying so though. I really do.

I forgot all Americans suddenly become Oirish this week. Interesting though the only ones expressing some unease with some of the jokes here are either born (Dubhlin) or living (myself) on the island

Peter, honestly, I mean no offense. I didn't suddenly loose all of my heritage when my ancestors moved to this continent. The fact that my accent isn't even remotely accurate for Ireland doesn't erase the genes. The fact that I was actually born in the north of London to US Citizens doesn't either. I do not even remotely believe or encourage the belief that being Irish equates to drunken or stupid or philandering (even if my great great great grandfather was named "Philander".. ).

I don't denegrate anyone. I do appreciate the humor of it, because I can relate. Having even minisculy Irish ancestry used as an excuse to party may seem offensive. I can see how. But I don't think that having people be foolish in their *assumption* of what it means to be Irish actually changes what it *really* means. I'm a blonde (or at least I used to be, now I'm gold and silver), and I don't enjoy every "Blonde Joke" out there, but I *do* enjoy some of them, and I have never been ashamed of being blond... though I have on occaision made someone ashamed of denegrating blondes.

I found the jokes funny in a self-depricating sort of way, not in 'those stupid other folks' way.

If I offended you, I am truly sorry.

[avanutria]

Peter, I'm also sorry you felt upset. Neither you nor I were born in Ireland, but we, and many others on this board, enjoy learning about Ireland and its culture. No one is trying to demean the Irish on this thread.

Incidentally, I love good stories about yanks acting the fool, especially true ones. On an expatriate american board I frequent, there was recently a thread dedicated to stories of americans coming abroad and making fools of themselves while trying to learn the ropes. To quote a few:

Not long after I moved here, I went for a night out with my sisters-in-law. When one of them asked what I was wearing I innocently replied 'I'm wearing khaki pants.' To which they both looked at me in a mixture of horror and gasps of laughter. When I realised my faux pas, I explained I did not mean 'cacky pants,' but 'tan trousers.' Live and learn, eh? hehe

Well not my story but my dad's. He was serviceman stationed here in the early 50's, she was (is) British - a GI Bride. This story is from when the were courting, she was living in her family home.

One night my dad and my mom went to a dance, he came straight from work and hadn't had a chance to eat. My grandmother said 'You must have something in you before you go out'. He was very hungry so he said 'Aw don't go to any trouble Mrs W, maybe fry up those 4 eggs with some toast' She smiled & did so. My father was completely unaware that war-rationing was till in force and he sat down & ate the entire family's protein allowance for the week in about 15 seconds.

Everyone smiled, no one even turned a hair. No they waited until he was married into the family and then teased him about it for Decades. And here I am, traitor welp telling the whole internet about it more than half a centure later...

A teacher friend of mine told me about an embarrassing misunderstanding when she first started teaching in the UK. The kids were getting ready to change for PE and she told them to take off their pants (meaning trousers) and suddenly there were about 25 naked 5 year olds running around.

Maybe we should start a thread for yank jokes - I bet there's a lot of them out there in this lot.

[Cayden]

I am not upset or offended, you need a lot more to get me in that state. I am prodding. Imagine a thread of jokes about blacks or American indians being stupid and drunk. that would go down a treat and this is not different.

As for Americans, they are American, even if they like to think otherwise. the habit of identifying with countries left long ago is cause of great myrth all round. This came from an Irish website and it pretty much sums up the general feeling on the island:

Irish Americans
The descendants of those Irish who left the country during the many wars and famines and settled in the US, the Irish Americans tend to have rather quaint and charming notions about their native (sic) land that offer no end of amusement to the inhabitants of Ireland. To an Irish American, Ireland is some mist-shrouded isle of song and story, where hearty old men gather in whitewashed cabins to play cards, drink whisky, and recite a saga or two, popping out occasionally to post a letter to America and bust a cap in a redcoat on the way back. The mere knowledge that people in a faraway land believe this nonsense is of great merriment to the Irish, but Irish Americans are kind enough to actually visit the country, spending great quantities of money to come here so that we can mock them in person!

[glauber]

It seems to me that some of these ethnic jokes are pretty mean. For example, a random one that stuck with me from a previous post (from memory): "An Irishman is at the luggage carousel of the airport, looking disconsolate. 'Ah, I lost all me luggage!', he says, 'It fell out when the wee cork came loose!'"

Why is this even funny? Would it still be funny if it were a German? "Ah lost all ze luggage! It fell out when ze cork popped off!" Not remotely. Would it still be funny if it were (forgive me!) an American Indian? Yikes! It's only funny when there is a presumption of drunkeness connected to the people you're making fun of.

I think this is mean. Silly stories of cute kids running around naked because of a minor misunderstanding, just don't cut the mustard.

How about: "what passes for international news on American TV is the nightly list of the countries they bombed the day before."? It has a nugget of truth in it, but it's mean, and it unjustly demeans a whole population, when it has been demonstrated that 48% of them are not idiots (here i go again...).

It's been said that the fish doesn't know anything about water. It's good to have fun, but it's also healthy to get a prodding every now and then, especially when it comes from someone we offended.

And here endeth what could be my only serious post in C&F this season. I hope you enjoyed it.

[dubhlinn]

While I'm not particularly offended by all these jokes - I hear them all year round over here in England and many more a lot worse - I do come here for a rest from all that stuff and to spend my time with people of a far more intelligent and cultured demeanour than I would get to meet otherwise.
I do not believe for one moment that anyone has set out to cause offence but sometimes it is the things we take for granted which can cause the most annoyance.

That said,I'm off to smoke some very nice Shamrock I got off a Jamaican guy in work earlier.

Slan,
D.

[izzarina]

As for Americans, they are American, even if they like to think otherwise. the habit of identifying with countries left long ago is cause of great myrth all round.

The problem is that we Americans don't have anything other than our foreign roots to identify with. We are a country made up entirely of immigrants....we have no culture of our own and therefore we identify with the roots that our ancestors have passed on to us. My ancestors left Ireland, but not by choice. I want my children to have a culture, and there is none to be had in the country I was born in. But there is culture in abundance in the country that I am descended from, and therefore I choose to teach my children that culture. If that is something that brings you great mirth, than so be it. There are worse things than being mirthful.

Edited to say, because I'm not supposed to celebrate my Irish heritage, does this mean that instead of the Guinness that I usually like to drink from time to time, that I have to be more American and have a Budweiser?

[izzarina]

That said,I'm off to smoke some very nice Shamrock I got off a Jamaican guy in work earlier.

I didn't realize that they had Shamrocks in Jamaica. Nor, for that matter, did I realize that one could smoke a Shamrock.

[Jerry Freeman]

As for Americans, they are American, even if they like to think otherwise. the habit of identifying with countries left long ago is cause of great myrth all round.

I agree with all who have commented that many of the Irish jokes are meanspirited and wouldn't be considered acceptable at all if they were directed towards certain other groups.

However, I might point out that your comment, Peter, is rather meanspirited in its own right.

Please, a little empathy all around might be in order.

To a great extent, many of us Americans are rootless people who long for a lost sense of place and community. This is a tragic, spiritual starvation, and not something to be taken as "a cause of great mirth all around."

You Irish continue to sing songs, as part of your rightful heritage, about events that occurred before the United States even existed. It would seem a bit hypocritical to suggest that those of us whose forebears emigrated here long after many of the events in your songs were first voiced, are not entitled to any sense of their own history before their recent arrival on these shores.

I've heard many Irish traditional songs that mention one or another who left home on a boat for America. Did the heros of those songs suddenly cease to be Irish when they set foot on the far shore? Do their children have less right to a family history than their cousins whose parents remained in Ireland?

Please. We are all one family, and not just in word.

Best wishes,
Jerry

[Bloomfield]

To a great extent, many of us Americans are rootless people who long for a lost sense of place and community. This is a tragic, spiritual starvation, and not something to be taken as "a cause of great mirth all around."

Hogwash. Of all the countries I know (only European ones, I fear, in addition to the US), America has the strongest unifying culture, the strongest sense of place and community. You may not like it that the content of this unifying cultural sense is equal parts puritanism, MacDonalds, July 4th, and gun-toting, but there it is. Americans have much deeper cultural roots than Europeans born after WW II.

I've heard many Irish traditional songs that mention one or another who left home on a boat for America. Did the heros of those songs suddenly cease to be Irish when they set foot on the far shore? Do their children have less right to a family history than their cousins whose parents remained in Ireland?

There is a difference between growing up with dead Irish grandparents in Omaha and growing up with living Irish parents in Ballyfermot, it would seem to me.

Please. We are all one family, and not just in word.

You're welcome.

[Jerry Freeman]

To a great extent, many of us Americans are rootless people who long for a lost sense of place and community. This is a tragic, spiritual starvation, and not something to be taken as "a cause of great mirth all around."

Hogwash.

Seriously, Bloo.

Notwithstanding your erudition and rhetorical prowess, you're not in a position to understand. Please don't condescend to tell me what I feel. Unbelievably callous.

Best wishes,
Jerry

[Cayden]

To a great extent, many of us Americans are rootless people who long for a lost sense of place and community. This is a tragic, spiritual starvation, and not something to be taken as "a cause of great mirth all around."


Jerry

I was merely stating what i see all around me: the irish taking the piss out of 'the yanks' in their ARan sweaters looking for their roots and restaurants that sell a traditional corne beef and cabbage. Sorry to disappoint you but the Irish tend to have a tremendous irreverent streak and like to slag everything to their heart's content, especially 'Oirish' behaviour.
I only live here, have put my roots down in Clare and love the place, which is enough for me.

[Bloomfield]

To a great extent, many of us Americans are rootless people who long for a lost sense of place and community. This is a tragic, spiritual starvation, and not something to be taken as "a cause of great mirth all around."

Hogwash.

Seriously, Bloo.

Notwithstanding your erudition and rhetorical prowess, you're not in a position to understand. Please don't condescend to tell me what I feel. Unbelieveably callous.

Best wishes,
Jerry

I am talking about your argument, not your feelings. If you want to discuss those, just let me know, and I will be as humble and as gentle as I can. I am not condescending to you by responding to your argument with my argument. Nor did I tell you what you feel. Thank you for not reciprocating with condescention by, for example, telling me I am in no position to understand.

As a cultural proposition, I still think you're wrong at least in the sense that "many of us Americans" would feel any more rootless etc. than "many of us Europeans."

I know I shouldn't say things like "hogwash." But I can't always resist. I'm not even serious about that. Sorry: guilty as charged on that count. I should either shut up or tell you outright that I find it unappetizing when you go from calling Peter's post "mean-spirited" to calling for "empathy" to talking about "rightful heritage" and "entitlement" and ending up with "Please. We are one family..."

Probably shouldn't have said that last bit either. Look at it this way: I am paying you the compliment of honesty.

Best wishes,
Bloomfield

[Jerry Freeman]

To a great extent, many of us Americans are rootless people who long for a lost sense of place and community. This is a tragic, spiritual starvation, and not something to be taken as "a cause of great mirth all around."


Jerry

I was merely stating what i see all around me: the irish taking the piss out of 'the yanks' in their ARan sweaters looking for their roots and restaurants that sell a traditional corne beef and cabbage. Sorry to disappoint you but the Irish tend to have a tremendous irreverent streak and like to slag everything to their heart's content, especially 'Oirish' behaviour.
I only live here, have put my roots down in Clare and love the place, which is enough for me.

I've heard some perfectly hilarious comedy on Irish national radio mocking Irish-American tourists. Great stuff. I don't mind, and I didn't find it offensive.

However, there really is a spiritual poverty that's driving much of the=at kind of behavior by Americans, and I wanted to point that out. That same spiritual poverty may also be at the basis of much of the extremely materialistic and superficial appearance oriented behavior that dominates American popular culture.

Best wishes,
Jerry