FippleShield Waiting List

Daniel_Bingamon · Post by **Daniel_Bingamon** » Sun Apr 28, 2002 8:03 am

Jim,
Your product may be perfect for small children and some beginners on high-G whistles.

DazedinLA · Post by **DazedinLA** » Sun Apr 28, 2002 8:31 am

Very sorry are we that the server has crashed yet again. For some stupid reason the President himself tried to muck around with some HTML code and managed to totally erase the original FippleShield page.

We are working on the problem. Dont worry...the waiting list was stored on a separate hard drive array and your position in that list has been retained.

Tom Dowling · Post by **Tom Dowling** » Sun Apr 28, 2002 9:48 am

As of this writing, all of Wall Street is eagerly awaiting the outcome of the FippleShield/FippleGuard impasse. Analysts are emphatic that this is a struggle for the very soul of the exceedingly lucrative international market of pennywhistle addicts. J. Wentworth Smoots, a futures analyst at Shot in the Dark Commodities, a leader in niche market prognostication, was interviewed by yours truly. Smoots put this struggle in its proper historical context: "The marketplace has only seen two comparable standoffs in recent memory: the VHS/BetaMax battle of the 1980's (and we all know what happened to the loser there) and the legendary Eight Track versus Audio Cassette format war of the late 1970's. The discerning investor should lurk in the tall grass until this agon sorts itself out."

Other analysts point out that investors are wary, and hedge funds are springing up like mushrooms in the lower forty. Stay tuned to this website for further developments. This could get ugly.

Tom D.
Chiff & Fipple's Man on Wall Street

DazedinLA · Post by **DazedinLA** » Sun Apr 28, 2002 12:11 pm

They say a picture says a thousand words.

Although Starfleet forbids its officers from endorsing any commercial project, the cloak and dagger operatives of Dazed Industries have obtained this photographic evidence that should remove all doubt about the virtues of the FippleShield.

http://geocities.com/dazedinla2002/Picard.html

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DazedinLA on 2002-04-28 14:13 ]</font>

Belcatar · Post by **Belcatar** » Sun Apr 28, 2002 12:22 pm

I think these two fine companies are going about this all wrong. There is merit and virtue in both designs, and if there was a way that the two could function together, it would be a revolutionary product indeed. By simply cutting away a small portion of the face shield, the FippleShield and the FippleGuard could be used simultaneously.
In theory, this would protect the whistler from wind, rain, sand, bees, anthrax, flying shoes, polar bears, Ozzy Osbourne's kids, and a partridge in a pear tree. With nothing to concentrate on except the sounds emanating from the whistle, the whistler would soon become unstoppable, and Joannie Madden would be asking THAT WHISTLER for an autograph. I hope the two companies will see the light. If they do, all whistlers with 400 dollars to spare will benefit. Other whistlers will have to wait until the first group of whistlers sells their stuff on eBay.

Chuck_Clark · Post by **Chuck_Clark** » Mon Apr 29, 2002 6:33 pm

Mr. Mudge,

My firm represents Mr. George "Blind Bat" O'Carolan, one of the testers of your prototype "Fipple Shield II".

Unfortunately, we must hereby inform you that the apparently permanent damage to Mr. O'Carolan's eyesight caused by playing his whistle with your device attached while facing in the general direction of the sun, appears to constitute grounds for litigation.

We are, of course, willing to discuss reasonable compensation for our client that might avoid the unpleasantness of litigation.

We will be looking forward to contact from your attorney in this unfortunate matter.

Sincerely,

Ferdinand de Lance
Senior Parter
Ambu, Lance and Chasers, P.C.
Attorneys at Law

Melvin Belly · Post by **Melvin Belly** » Mon Apr 29, 2002 8:09 pm

Dear Mr. deLance:

Thank you for your letter. I suggest that you consider the following before pursuing legal action against my client:

1. Your client, Mr. O'Carolan was not a participant in the FippleShield II clinical trials. He was merely present at a pub where a throng of delighted FippleShield testers met with their instruments and their FippleShields after the conclusion of the trials.

2. Your client, inebriated and bitter that he had been omitted from the test group, foolishly attempted to construct his OWN protector using a CRUDE APPROXIMATION of the precision-crafted FippleShield design, using a tired, worn, raggedy COCTAIL PARASOL!!!

3. Our investigation also indicates that your client was blinded BEFORE commencement of the FippleShield clinical trials. Witnesses have provided us with sworn statements that Mr. O'Carolan habitually stared directly into the sun without any protective eyewear so that he could "See the Crystal People" better "when they come to bring us the special food." I have no idea what this means, but it clearly indicates that your client is deranged and that his claims of injury from my client's wonderful product are patently absurd.

I trust that you will therefore drop your ridiculous claim or I will destroy you utterly. I will take your house, burn it to the ground and spit on its ashes.

P.S.: See you at 4:00 for racquetball. I've reserved Court No. 4 at the Club.

Melvin Belly · Post by **Melvin Belly** » Mon Apr 29, 2002 8:34 pm

Dear Mr. DeLance:

Our investigator has just located a new witness who states that your client was playing a Cooperman whistle while staring into the sun.

Since it is not clear which is better evidence of lunacy (trying to play a Cooperman or staring into the sun), and your client was doing both simultaneously, well, maybe you'd better just drop the matter.

Jeferson · Post by **Jeferson** » Tue Apr 30, 2002 12:53 pm

Binding arbitration. Duct tape. Settled out of court.

Jef

nbrock · Post by **nbrock** » Wed May 01, 2002 7:51 am

My question is has anyone seen Andrea Corr using one of these Fippleguards? Photographic evidence please!

If she doesn't use one, maybe they need to market a new version that she would use - a Little Black Leather Fippleguard. (She would throw them into the audience at the end of concerts!)

Neil

Dave Parkhurst · Post by **Dave Parkhurst** » Sat May 04, 2002 1:19 am

Will either model adhere to copper? I'm quite concerned about the future of my cottage industry as this affects it!!! Will I need to braze an adapter onto future whistle models or does it come with an adapter? Oh dear oh dear oh dear.....

Dave Parkhurst · Post by **Dave Parkhurst** » Sat May 04, 2002 1:22 am

Ohmigawd...I just realized: you all are messing with Whistle stock futures without consulting "The Undisputed". Oh man, I am out of here until the smoke settles!!!

Melvin Belly · Post by **Melvin Belly** » Sun May 05, 2002 6:00 am

Dear Mr. Parkhurst:

My office has sent you a confidentiality agreement for your review and signature. Upon our receipt of the signed agreement, you will receive the complete 236 page Plans and Specifications and Manfuacturing Guidelines for the FippleShield and FippleShield II, which does include specs for you to add Attachment Interfaces for the FPS and FPS II in brass, nickel and sterling silver. Due to the high-precision nature of the FippleShield, you will find these specs indespensable in servicing your FippleShield-using customers.

President Mudge has also asked me to say that if you are ever interested in becoming an official licensed distributor of FippleShield products, I can send you our standard Distributorship Agreement, Waiver and Release form. Once our merger negotiations with the folks at FippleGuard are complete, you'll see how valuable a distributorship can be.