A Neutron Walks Into a Bar...

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:49 pm

emmline wrote:
missy wrote:
http://www.hilowitz.com/john/test/evil.html
(I'm just 25%!!)

I'm 82% evil by that test...I don't get it.
What is that silly thing measuring?

Heh! Heh! Heh!

Montana · Post by **Montana** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:49 pm

59% evil.

They should limit the test to a certain time period. Many of the "evil" things I said yes to I did in my mispent youth. If it was limited to the past 10 years, I'd do much better.

Anyone who answered "no" to "ever lied" or "ever cheated on a test" or similar questions is either lying or is very deep into denial. Often on personality tests, they ask such things as a test, since EVERYONE has lied or cheated on a test at some point in their lives.

Anyone who has a low percentage hasn't lived.

Don't worry, aderyn-du; all that evilness and people still accuse me of being boring... Little do they know. BWA-HA-HA....

Jeff Stallard · Post by **Jeff Stallard** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:55 pm

Montana wrote:Anyone who has a low percentage hasn't lived.

Well if that's the case, I had better go out and rape someone so I can say I've lived.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:56 pm

that wasn't one of the questions!

well...I'm a little slow...had to try again with random answers to "get it."

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:58 pm

Jeff Stallard wrote:
Montana wrote:Anyone who has a low percentage hasn't lived.
Well if that's the case, I had better go out and rape someone so I can say I've lived.

Umm, Jeff? I don't really know you, but given this answer and some of your other recent posts, I HAVE TO ASK- are you partaking of an inordinate amount of hallucinogenic substances of late??

All the Best, Tom

Montana · Post by **Montana** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:00 pm

Better to go out and buy some pornographic material...
Unless that's one of the questions you answered "yes" to...

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:04 pm

Montana wrote:Better to go out and buy some pornographic material...
Unless that's one of the questions you answered "yes" to...

Or, make sure you checked the "correct" no on the two-no'd question.

Tom

Stu H · Post by **Stu H** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:09 pm

A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer, the barman says 'Sorry we don't serve food after 3 o'clock'

or

x-2 = yx+4 walks into a bar and orders a beer, the barman says 'Sorry we don't cater for functions'

missy · Post by **missy** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:21 pm

(this one is much better "live")

Duck walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "Got any grapes?". The bartender says "No..." Duck walks out.

Next day, the same duck walks into the same bar. Says to the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yesterday, no, we don't". Duck walks out.

Next day, the duck walks back into the bar. Says to the bartender "Got any grapes" The bartender is getting angry now, and says "Look, I've told you twice before, no we DON'T have any grapes! And if you come back and ask me again, I'm going to staple your feet to the ceiling!!!" Duck walks out.

Next day, the duck walks back into the bar. Says to the bartender "Got any staples?" The bartender says "No....." The duck says "In that case, got any grapes?".........

Missy

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:43 pm

izzarina wrote:
aderyn_du wrote:Wow... izz is more evil than me! You must have received the Better Half of our brain from FlyGuy....
I was 68% evil!! can you believe it?

You two are in cahoots! That doesn't count

What does one have to do to be in "cahoots"?

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:16 pm

Flyingcursor wrote:
izzarina wrote:
aderyn_du wrote:Wow... izz is more evil than me! You must have received the Better Half of our brain from FlyGuy....
I was 68% evil!! can you believe it?
You two are in cahoots! That doesn't count

What does one have to do to be in "cahoots"?

I think you have to be an owl living in California!

Tom

jsluder · Post by **jsluder** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:20 pm

TomB wrote:
Flyingcursor wrote:You two are in cahoots! That doesn't count

What does one have to do to be in "cahoots"?

I think you have to be an owl living in California!

Nah. Fly spelled it wrong. It's "Inca hoots", as in, "You two are Inca hoots!" It means they're standup comedians from a long-lost Inca tribe.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:46 pm

Flyingcursor wrote:
izzarina wrote:
aderyn_du wrote:Wow... izz is more evil than me! You must have received the Better Half of our brain from FlyGuy....
I was 68% evil!! can you believe it?
You two are in cahoots! That doesn't count

What does one have to do to be in "cahoots"?

well of course we're in cahoots....we're always in cahoots.
I don't know what you can do to be in cahoots too....I'll have to confer with ad.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:49 pm

I have now found that if I use Safari, all of my "no" answers were being tabulated as "yes" answers. When I used IE, it came out right. I don't know if you were using Safari or not, em, but that could be why you were so evil too. I know for a fact that I'm not all that evil (only about 30%). Snarky maybe, but not truly evil

Sunnywindo · Post by **Sunnywindo** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:02 pm

Soooo, is it really THAT hard to believe that one could score low on such a test? That such a result is just probably because that person has low standards of what they consider wrong and/or are lying/delusional? Nice.

Won't go into every details of all I answered, but I was honest about it. I laughed when they gave me such a low score because I really don't think I'm that close to... well, goodness? Perfection? Angelness? Whatever, I'm not that perfect. Some of the questions:

Have I lied? Yes. (white lies count)

To my family? Yes. Lots as a child/teen, not as much anymore but still.

Do you curse (swear, cuss, etc)? No. (The way this question is worded, I took it as currently as it didn't say "have you ever" as some questions did. I did go through a spell of some cursing, but don't do it anymore, though if something really bad happend like seeing a car wreak first hand I might let one fly. Maybe I should have put yes, since I once did, and occasionally use the word "dang" now days so add a point of evil. I do count things like hell and even the name God used in causal context like "Oh ____!" swearing.

Have you ever cheated on a test? Clicked no. I remember believing even as a teenager that that is wrong and didn't do it, but maybe as a little kid, like grade school or something I did, but I don't remember back that far very well but guess there's that real possibility. Didn't think that one through enough when clicking perhaps... so add another evil point or two here if you like.

Have you ever skipped class? Yes. Skipped class several times at college because I didn't feel like going.

Have you ever stolen from your friends or family? Yes. Took money from my Mom's purse more than once about 6th/7th grade.

Thought it was funny that they listed the SUV thing. Guess in PC land SUVs are evil, but since I'm not terribly into PCness I don't consider SUVs really evil, even though I don't currently own one. Maybe I should get more evil points for not being PC enough?

And isn't speeding is going faster than the speed limit? Thought that one was pretty straight forward. How far shall we spilt hairs? If passing an old person going twenty-five on a country road where the speed limit is fifty is speeding, then put me down for speeding to.

Really though, I think it's a matter of the right questions. The paticular questions they asked didn't hit too many of my weaknesses. It didn't ask things like: Are you lazy. (Yes.) Would you feel satisfaction/pleasure in seeing your neighbor being arrested. (Yes. - He's scarey/psycho, k? Still doesn't make it right to wish bad upon someone.) Etc. (You get the idea.)

And if you haven't guessed by this post, one of my big faults is how irritating it is to be indirectly or directly implemented in doing something you didn't do when you try hard to do the right thing. Like when a neighbor accused me of cutting the cable wires and lying to him about it when the cable company cut it and the only thing I had to do with it was call in to have our cable shut off and they just happend to notice that his cable was hooked up illegally, so they cut it. Still irks me, hubby says let it go, but it's a real hard thing for me, even though letting it go is exactly what needs to happen. Hold me accountable for things I really did do.... Could care less if my neighbor smokes or drinks and would hardly consider them evil because of it, but indicate I do it when I don't (as smoking and drinking is against my religious beliefs) and *GRRRRR*. Sorry.

It's something I admit needs some work, guess posting this doesn't help that endevor.

If someone did something like shoplifting, using illegal drugs, etc. and then been sorry, changed/repented and never done it again, does that count as evil against you? I wouldn't count it against you if you repented and don't/would never do it again... but this test counts it and you'd have to put it down.

Tests like this really don't reflect the whole picture, and in the end, are they not just for fun/silliness anyway.

Sara (*gets out virtual beating stick, bends over and awaits her punishment*)