Slightly OT: a musical joke

tommykleen · Post by **tommykleen** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 8:34 am

A joke that someone wrote and I am passing along:

A B-flat, a D-flat, and an F walk into a bar. The bartender says to
them, "I'm sorry we don't serve minors here"...
So the D-flat leaves, and the B-flat and the F have a fifth between
them and go home.

t

totokots · Post by **totokots** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 8:43 am

Q: How many pipers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Three: one to change the bulb, and two to discuss how Ennis would have done it.

uilleannfinlander · Post by **uilleannfinlander** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 9:03 am

They interwived 100 yers old Uilleannpiper:
- Becouse of your extremely high age,. would you tell me you takes care of you?
- Nobody,.... I'm orphan.

glands · Post by **glands** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 10:36 am

Where does one find the best sheet music or collections of tunes for accordion?

Lining the bottom of bird cages.

tommykleen · Post by **tommykleen** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:16 am

"...My God! What have I done"

-D. Byrne

maw · Post by **maw** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:20 am

What's the most common owl known to mankind?
A batht owl

Antaine · Post by **Antaine** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 2:09 pm

douglas adams would be proud

fel bautista · Post by **fel bautista** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 4:56 pm

likewise from a friend of mine who understands this stuff:

But if before B-flat and F left the bar, D and his buddy A-flat came in, A-flat would be in charge, because he was dominant.

sorry Tom... see what you've done

snoogie · Post by **snoogie** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 6:47 pm

Band director to misbehaving student.."You better C-sharp or you'll B-flat"

Scott McCallister · Post by **Scott McCallister** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:22 am

I know a bass player who is so bad the section noticed.

What's the range of a tuba? about 15 yards if you put your back into it.

Why to GHB pipers march as they play? To get away from the noise.

What do you call a trombonist with a pager? An optimist

What's the differnce between a dead banjo player in the middle of the street and the dead frog next to him? The frog may have been on his way to a gig.

What's the difference between a soprano sax and a lawnmower? You can tune a lawn mower.

What's the difference between a viola and an onion? No one cries when you chop up a viola.

What is an English horn teacher called? A Tudor tooter tutor.

If you took all the accordion players in the world and tied them end to end, that would be a really good idea.

How many flute players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one but she will twist it back and forth for an hour befor she gets it right.

Why are bassoons better than oboes? Bassoons burn longer.

Where do alto clarinet players play best? In traffic.

Two woodwind players chance to meet at a pub one day. One asked the other "What's with that flute I saw you with last night?" The other replied, "That was no flute, that was my fife!"

What are burning oboes good for ? Setting bassoons on fire.

Why is a double bass better than a cello? the Bass holds more beer.

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which will hit the ground first? Who cares?

Why did the violist marry the accordion player? Upward mobility.

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chainsaw? It is easier to improvise with a chainsaw.

What's the difference between a bari sax and an chainsaw? The exhaust.

How do you know when a professional whistle player is at your door? He's wearing a pizza hut hat.

What's the ideal weight for a bodhran player? About 2 1/2 pounds including the urn.

What's the differnce between a guitarist and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four.

What is the difference between a sax player and a seamstress? A seamstress tucks the frills.

ausdag · Post by **ausdag** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:23 am

A man walked into a bar - he had a lump the next day the size of an egg..oh hang on...right....music jokes....okay ummm..

How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

5 - 1 to chnage it, 4 to sit around and sing about how good the old one was.

Has that one been done yet?....sorry

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:26 am

How many bodhran players does it take to change a lightbulb? If you're lucky, none.

ausdag · Post by **ausdag** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:28 am

ausdag · Post by **ausdag** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:29 am

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:33 am

Very Gently......