movie quotes

Scott McCallister · Post by **Scott McCallister** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 3:49 pm

I believe Caddyshack is rife with quotable quotes.

Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

and again

Carl Spackler: What an incredible Cinderella story, this unknown comes outta no where to lead the pack, at Augusta. He's on his final hole, he's about 455 yards away - he's gonna hit about a two-iron I think. Oh he got all of that one! The crowd is standing on its feet here, the normally reserved Augusta crowd - going wild - for this young Cinderella, he's come outta no where, he's got about 350 yards left, he's gonna hit about a five-iron, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing - that's - Oh he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that, the crowd is just on its feet here, uh - He's the Cinderella boy, uh - tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot, he's got about 195 yards left, he's got about a - its looks like he's got about an eight-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta no where, a former greenskeeper now - about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac - It's in the Hole!

rebl_rn · Post by **rebl_rn** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 5:42 pm

Another favorite of mine - the conversation about older movies brought it to mind.

From Auntie Mame - "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death."

And of course, the classic from Cool Hand Luke: "What we have here, boys, is a failure to communicate."

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 6:04 pm

From The Blues Brothers:

Its a hundred and six miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, It's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses. HIT IT!!

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 6:52 pm

From UHF (aka The Vidiot).

Code: Select all

VISUAL                      HOUSEWIFE
Housewife in                Honey, where's the
suburban kitchen.           spatula?

                            HUSBAND
Husband slaps forehead.     Okay, kids... let's go!

                            ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Excited family exits        There's just one place to
house.                      go for all your spatula
                            needs...

Ext. stills - "Spatula      (heavy echo) Spatula City!
City" - huge spatula on     Spatula City!
building.

Int. stills - Spatula       A giant warehouse of  
City aisles - chryons:      spatulas for your every
"MARKED DOWN!",             need!  Thousands to choose
"SATISFACTION               from in every shape, color,
GUARANTEED!!", "FACTORY     and size!   
DIRECT TO YOU!!!"

People with shopping        And because we eliminate
carts walking down          the middleman, we can sell
aisles.                     all our spatulas factory
                            direct to you!

Same family in car          Where do you go when you
with excited kids.          want to buy name brand
                            spatulas at a fraction of
                            retail cost

VISUAL
Billboard with giant       (echo) Spatula City!
spatula: "Spatula           Spatula City!
City - Home of the
Spatula - Next Exit"
(this billboard was
actually up on a Tulsa 
expressway for the
entire summer of 1988).

Ext. Parking Lot -          And this weekend only, take
People running              advantage of our special
towards store              liquidation sale.
(this was filmed in 
a Warehouse Market
grocery store parking
lot in Tulsa).

Woman holding spatula       Buy nine spatulas - get the
in one hand and penny       tenth one for just
in other; nine spatulas     one penny!
flashing over her head.

Family opening presents     Don't forget... they make
around Christmas tree -     great Christmas presents!
kids hug parents.

(Soft focus) Man hands      (hushed v.o.) And what
spatula to                   better way to say 'I Love
woman over candlelit        You' than with the gift of
dinner.                     a spatula...?

Dolley down aisle of        (echo, shouting) Spatula
spatulas.                   City! Spatula City!

                            EXECUTIVE
Dull-looking executive      Hello, this is Sy 
type sitting at desk        Greenblum, President of 
with hands clasped.         Spatula City.  I liked 
Chryon: SY GREENBLUM,       their spatulas so much, I
PRESIDENT OF SPATULA        bought the company!
CITY.

                            ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Ext. Spatula City.          Spatula City! Seven 
Chryon: OPEN 'TIL           locations!  We're in the 
MIDNIGHT!                   Yellow Pages...under
                            "Spatulas"!

Same family: husband,       NEIGHBOR
kids, and neighbors         My! Where did you get that
sitting at dining room      lovely spatula?
table, being served by
housewife with spatula.

Husband and wife look       MUSIC JINGLE    
at each other, then         Spatula City... We      
wink at camera.             sell spatulas, and that's all!

Philo throws a switch, starting another commercial.

CRAZY ERNIE
Howdy friends, this is Crazy Ernie from Crazy Ernie's Used Car Emporium, and I'll chew on a razor blade to make you a better deal...
(This was actually Ernie Miller Pontiac www.millerpontiac.com in Tulsa).

Bretton · Post by **Bretton** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 6:57 pm

"Insert just about anything said by Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) in the movie Tombstone here"

Lorenzo · Post by **Lorenzo** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 7:19 pm

"Is it true, that when you were born, the doctor turned around and slapped your mother?" -The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert

PhilO · Post by **PhilO** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:36 pm

Bretton wrote:"Insert just about anything said by Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) in the movie Tombstone here"

He really stole that movie. Remember the part where Ringo challenges him in the saloon while he's sitting down; Ringo twirls his guns (like the punk he was); Holiday looks quizzical, then dazzlingly twirls a pair of tin cups. The best Doc Holiday ever - whimsical, fey. There's another part where someone says he's drunk and probably seeing double and he says something like "That's why I have two guns."

Philo

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:45 pm

PhilO wrote:
Bretton wrote:"Insert just about anything said by Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) in the movie Tombstone here"

He really stole that movie. Remember the part where Ringo challenges him in the saloon while he's sitting down; Ringo twirls his guns (like the punk he was); Holiday looks quizzical, then dazzlingly twirls a pair of tin cups. The best Doc Holiday ever - whimsical, fey. There's another part where someone says he's drunk and probably seeing double and he says something like "That's why I have two guns."

Philo

I've been known to say "I'm your huckleberry" on a few occasions.

I'm absolutely not into shoot em up western type movies, but I loved Tombstone primarily because of Val Kilmer's Doc Holiday. I agree that he stole the movie.

blackhawk · Post by **blackhawk** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:50 pm

PhilO wrote:
Bretton wrote:"Insert just about anything said by Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) in the movie Tombstone here"

He really stole that movie. Remember the part where Ringo challenges him in the saloon while he's sitting down; Ringo twirls his guns (like the punk he was); Holiday looks quizzical, then dazzlingly twirls a pair of tin cups. The best Doc Holiday ever - whimsical, fey. There's another part where someone says he's drunk and probably seeing double and he says something like "That's why I have two guns."

Philo

I was watching it over the weekend. My favorite part was when he was winning at poker and a guy got mad at him. Doc said "You're just not good at cards. I know...let's have a spelling contest."

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:51 pm

Bretton wrote:"Insert just about anything said by Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) in the movie Tombstone here"

Speaking of tombstones, am I the only one who thinks that's a terribly morbid name for a pizza?

sandpiper · Post by **sandpiper** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:43 pm

I love the dialog in movies from the 30's and 40's..

From the Thin Man...

after sending Nora on a goose chase to Grant's Tomb.
Nick " how'd you like Grant's Tomb?"
Nora " It's lovely, I'm having a copy made for you.."

Sandpiper

oleorezinator · Post by **oleorezinator** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:50 pm

Brick Top: "Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified, in this case, by a horrible c...: Me."

MikeyLikesIt · Post by **MikeyLikesIt** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:19 am

"I don't have a tumor!" (or tuma, if you say it with an Arnie accent)
-Detecive John Kimble from Kindergarden Cop

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 5:57 am

First of all if anyone knows where I can get a copy of UHF, Amazon Women on the Moon, Kentucky Fried Movie and The Groove Tube, I'd be delighted.

There are some great quotes here. Some of my favorites:

"I saw a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor, and live. That is my dream, that is my nightmare." Apocolypse Now

"The sunrise is such a wonder to the blind." Hotel New Hampshire. I never could figure out what he means.

"You are in a position to demand nothing." Star Trek II, the Wrath of Khan.

"KHAAAAAAAAAN" Ibid.

"What do I have to be grateful for? Do you think because you are more enlightened then most officers I hate you any less?" Cross of Iron.

The whole "jelly doughnut" scene in Full Metal Jacket.

"The dead know only one thing. It is better to be alive." Huh? Full Metal Jacket. A really dumb line which is why I like it.

"Whattaya smoke this stuff for? So's to escape reality? I don't need this stuff. I am reality." Platoon

From The Wild Bunch, the ultimate "guy movie" and full of memorable quotes:
Ernest Borgnine: "Damn that Deke Thornton all to hell."
William Holden: "What would you do in his place? He gave his word."
EB: "Gave his word to a railroad!"
WH: "IT'S HIS WORD!"
EB: "THAT AIN'T WHAT COUNTS. IT'S WHO YOU GIVE IT TO!"

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 6:20 am

Flyingcursor wrote:First of all if anyone knows where I can get a copy of UHF, Amazon Women on the Moon, Kentucky Fried Movie and The Groove Tube, I'd be delighted.

UHF, which had been "out of print" in videocassette for some time, is now out on DVD. I believe my sister bought a copy at Wal-Mart.

As for the other two, I'd check amazon.com or eBay, as they may be on DVD too, or at least the VHS versions could be obtained second-hand at either site.