UK cracker humor--help needed.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 12:23 pm

Got some "magic" crackers at the local import store. Deluxe with magic tricks, the paper crown, and the riddles.

My favorite riddle:
"What's dangerous and yellow?"

(answer: shark-infested custard)

Here's the one we don't get at all. Can anyone unravel the Brit humor here?

"Why don't elephants like penguins?"

(answer: They're too hard to unwrap.)

Are we missing something, or do you just have to be in the right mood? Preferably the kind of mood fueled by too much spiked eggnog.

Will O'B · Post by **Will O'B** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 12:45 pm

I will wait for our pals from "over there" to supply the correct answer. But, in the meantime, it almost sounds like presents are wrapped in black and white paper. Just a very wild guess.

Will O'Ban

dubhlinn · Post by **dubhlinn** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:01 pm

emmline wrote:Got some "magic" crackers at the local import store. Deluxe with magic tricks, the paper crown, and the riddles.

My favorite riddle:
"What's dangerous and yellow?"

(answer: shark-infested custard)

Here's the one we don't get at all. Can anyone unravel the Brit humor here?

"Why don't elephants like penguins?"

(answer: They're too hard to unwrap.)

Are we missing something, or do you just have to be in the right mood? Preferably the kind of mood fueled by too much spiked eggnog.

All is revealed!

Slan,
D.

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:15 pm

That's a relief. I had this horrific vision of pachyderms trying to flay the cute li'l critters, and for what?

Will O'B · Post by **Will O'B** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:16 pm

dubhlinn wrote:[

All is revealed!

Slan,
D.

Excuse me--both of you-- for butting in again, but . . . ahhh. Makes sense.

Will O'Ban

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:17 pm

Thanks D! I thought maybe something was lost in translation.

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:49 pm

Penguins used to be wrapped in much easier to open packaging. The packaging changed due to the modern fetish for sterilization against "germs". Penguin wrappers are now heat-sealed. When I was a kid, the wrappers were just foil backed with grease-proof paper and a child of five could get into one. I must have eaten hundreds as a child and the germs never did me any harm. Now I don't buy them anymore due to the wrappers (nor does my pet elephant).

Aside - the wrappers for Kit Kats have also changed over the years. The familiar silver foil and paper tube have been replaced with heat sealed plastic. Half the pleasure of eating a Kit Kat came from scoring down the foil groove with your thumbnail before breaking the chocolate bar and this is no longer possible. This may explain why UK sales of Kit Kats are dropping.

Return to topic - this joke would not have worked 20 years ago.

The Weekenders · Post by **The Weekenders** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:59 pm

So what are the penguins like? Chocolate or what?

jim stone · Post by **jim stone** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 2:15 pm

Don't listen to them, Em, they are trying to
divert you from the truth.
As to what 'unwrapping' such penguins consists in,
it would be best if we discussed that
offboard.

Researchers find gay penguins in Japanese aquariums: report

Sat Dec 25, 1:31 AM ET
[Add to My Yahoo!] Top Stories - AFP

TOKYO (AFP) - Researchers have found a number of same-sex pairs of penguins at aquariums in Japan, with an imbalance between the numbers of male and female birds suspected to be the cause, a report said.

A research group led by Keisuke Ueda, professor of behavioral ecology at Rikkyo University in Tokyo, found about 20 same-sex pairs at 16 major aquariums and zoos, Kyodo news agency said.

Penguins in captivity "may be more likely to form same-sex pairs" due to the difficulty of finding partners of the opposite sex because breeding facilities in Japan only have an average of 20 birds, the agency quoted Ueda as saying.

It is not known if the frequency of homosexuality is higher than in the wild, where telling the sexes apart is tough, he said.

Many of the gay male pairs and two of the female pairs were seen performing mounting behavior, it said.

Ueda was not available for comment on the report

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 8:28 pm

jim stone wrote:Don't listen to them, Em, they are trying to
divert you from the truth.
As to what 'unwrapping' such penguins consists in,
it would be best if we discussed that
offboard.

Well, whatever the case...any penguins which prefer same sex pairings are welcome to stay in the closet if that's their preference; the heffalumps should really bug off, I'd say.

But on to another cracker joke which assumed knowledge of UK sweets:
"What lies in a pram and wiggles?"
answer: Jelly Babies.
We suppose these to be gummi bears with a more humanoid morphology.

The thing about crackers is, only about 1/2 pop satisfactorily.
My favorite party favor ever was a thing called a "party bomb" which was from Harrod's--It was a colorful cardboard cylinder with a wick. You'd light the wick, back up a bit, and the thing would explode with a bang releasing party hats, fake moustaches, etc, all over the room. Cool.

mamakash · Post by **mamakash** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 8:36 pm

Em, those jokes seem to be pretty lame, even when explained. But what could you expect from the people who gave us Benny Hill?

The only things I know about Jelly Babies is that the fourth doctor had an affinity towards them. Someone told me once they were hard and not very good tasting.
Off topic . . . the UK Cadbury Flake bars are pretty good.

izzarina · Post by **izzarina** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 10:50 pm

emmline wrote:But on to another cracker joke which assumed knowledge of UK sweets:
"What lies in a pram and wiggles?"
answer: Jelly Babies.
We suppose these to be gummi bears with a more humanoid morphology.

Is this REALLY what they look like?

avanutria · Post by **avanutria** » Sun Dec 26, 2004 4:12 am

I hear they don't normally have eyes on them. I'm amused they have belly buttons though.

John S · Post by **John S** » Sun Dec 26, 2004 9:43 am

Jelly Babies are soft and when exposed the temperatures of a child's pocket can spontaineously prubuce Siamese twins and other weird abnormalities.

John S

burnsbyrne · Post by **burnsbyrne** » Sun Dec 26, 2004 9:55 am

An American cracker joke:

You know you're a cracker if you have more vee-hicles on your front lawn than in your driveway.

Chiff and Fipple Forums

UK cracker humor--help needed.

UK cracker humor--help needed.

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Re: OT:UK cracker humor--help needed.