Musical_Midnight & FJohnSharp: The Thread
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FJohnSharp
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- Tell us something.: I used to be a regular then I took up the bassoon. Bassoons don't have a lot of chiff. Not really, I have always been a drummer, and my C&F years were when I was a little tired of the drums. Now I'm back playing drums. I mist the C&F years, though.
- Location: Kent, Ohio
Musical Midnight is missing a PAR-TAY
"Meon an phobail a thogail trid an chultur"
(The people’s spirit is raised through culture)
Suburban Symphony
(The people’s spirit is raised through culture)
Suburban Symphony
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scottielvr
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- Location: NC mountains
...Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca was the first known Christian supporter of the theory that cows, rather than the sun, are at the center of the universe. The theory originated in the Byzantine Empire circa 350 B.C., but was not introduced to the rest of the world until Cabeza and his followers traveled through Greece on their voyage from India to America in 1545. During their passage through the city of Athens, they were accosted by several small, hairy Greek men who believed them to be cowbrushers.
"What are you doing?" shouted the antagonists, jostling Cabeza and his men. "Why aren’t you brushing our cows? Did you forget that today is Rhetoricianity, the day of gleaming bovinity? Get to work!" The hairy men then proceeded on their way, leaving Cabeza and his followers to contemplate the bizarre Greek tirade which they had just endured. None of them knew any Greek, except for Cabeza de Vaca, who only knew the word for cow. "I don’t know what that meant," said Cabeza to his men, "but I think they said something about cows." Unfortunately, three of Cabeza’s followers were French, and didn’t understand what he said. With a little difficulty, they were able to ask the Belgians of the group to translate what Cabeza had said. The Belgians,to the chagrin of the Frenchmen, did not know Spanish either, although one of them knew the Castillian word for 'fruit basket.' They, in turn, were able to ask the semi-bilingual Norwegian (who knew six phrases of Belgian French, one of which being, "What did Cow Head just say?") to translate what Cabeza had said. The Norwegian passed the message along to a Neo-Viking Russian, who in turn asked the same of a 12-year-old Hessitic Jew, who was an amazing guesser and correctly surmised the content of the Russian query. This boy spoke to Cabeza de Vaca himself, guessing, against incredible odds, the Spanish phrase for "What did you just say, Cow Head?" Cabeza then repeated his statement to the boy. Unfortunately, although the question had remained intact on its way to Cabeza, the resulting response did not fare so well on its way back to the Frenchmen. The boy, of course, translated the statement flawlessly to the Russian, who accidentally omitted an accent over a letter, thereby changing the sentence to, "I don’t know what that (Norwegian expletive), but I think they said something about cows." The Norwegian, after decking the Russian, did his best to translate the sentence to the Belgians. He summoned all of his Belgian knowledge and said, "My name is Pierre. Please direct me to the lavatory." The 12-year-old Hessitic Jew, correctly guessing the difficult situation which had arisen,repeated Cabeza de Vaca’s statement to the confused Belgians in perfect Belgian French. Unfortunately, he was just far enough away that they misheard him. They told the Frenchmen that Cabeza de Vaca had said, "The people of Greece believe that cows should be imprisoned." The Frenchmen, unschooled in Belgian French, did not know that the Belgian word for impending imprisonment coincides perfectly with the French word for 'the center of the universe,' and so heard this phrase: "The people of Greece belive that cows are the center of the universe." (This happened to be almost truthful-- the same theory was popular in the Byzantine [Greek] Empire almost two thousand years before). The Frenchmen were delighted. Never before had they heard such sense. They repeated the idea to the Belgians to make sure that they had heard it right (coincidentally using a different word for 'the center of the universe'), and the Belgians were likewise thunderstruck. Wishing to thank Cabeza de Vaca for such enlightenment, one of the Belgians said, 'Fruit basket,' in a very grateful voice, and with, incidentally, a perfect Castillian accent. Cabeza, being from Estremadura and not Castile, thought that the Belgian had called him an apple-stealer, which was a humiliating insult in the town of Jerez where Cabeza was born (and which, to make matters worse, his father had been). Cabeza de Vaca flew into a rage, killing the unfortunate Belgian (this incident is what caused Cabeza’s subsequent imprisonment and removal to Spain), but by that time the idea that cows are the center of all things had spread to everyone else in the group, and nobody noticed. The men returned to their respective countries as missionaries to spread their new religion. All except the boy were soon executed for heresy (the boy was executed for witchcraft), but not before they had impressed their ideas on a small number of people. These people, most of whom happened to be small and hairy, established a tiny church in religiously tolerant Amsterdam called 'The Church of Cow Head.' The church still stands today, although it is now a clothing store called 'The Small and Hairy Man,' and an average of three tourists a year flock to this historic landmark.
"What are you doing?" shouted the antagonists, jostling Cabeza and his men. "Why aren’t you brushing our cows? Did you forget that today is Rhetoricianity, the day of gleaming bovinity? Get to work!" The hairy men then proceeded on their way, leaving Cabeza and his followers to contemplate the bizarre Greek tirade which they had just endured. None of them knew any Greek, except for Cabeza de Vaca, who only knew the word for cow. "I don’t know what that meant," said Cabeza to his men, "but I think they said something about cows." Unfortunately, three of Cabeza’s followers were French, and didn’t understand what he said. With a little difficulty, they were able to ask the Belgians of the group to translate what Cabeza had said. The Belgians,to the chagrin of the Frenchmen, did not know Spanish either, although one of them knew the Castillian word for 'fruit basket.' They, in turn, were able to ask the semi-bilingual Norwegian (who knew six phrases of Belgian French, one of which being, "What did Cow Head just say?") to translate what Cabeza had said. The Norwegian passed the message along to a Neo-Viking Russian, who in turn asked the same of a 12-year-old Hessitic Jew, who was an amazing guesser and correctly surmised the content of the Russian query. This boy spoke to Cabeza de Vaca himself, guessing, against incredible odds, the Spanish phrase for "What did you just say, Cow Head?" Cabeza then repeated his statement to the boy. Unfortunately, although the question had remained intact on its way to Cabeza, the resulting response did not fare so well on its way back to the Frenchmen. The boy, of course, translated the statement flawlessly to the Russian, who accidentally omitted an accent over a letter, thereby changing the sentence to, "I don’t know what that (Norwegian expletive), but I think they said something about cows." The Norwegian, after decking the Russian, did his best to translate the sentence to the Belgians. He summoned all of his Belgian knowledge and said, "My name is Pierre. Please direct me to the lavatory." The 12-year-old Hessitic Jew, correctly guessing the difficult situation which had arisen,repeated Cabeza de Vaca’s statement to the confused Belgians in perfect Belgian French. Unfortunately, he was just far enough away that they misheard him. They told the Frenchmen that Cabeza de Vaca had said, "The people of Greece believe that cows should be imprisoned." The Frenchmen, unschooled in Belgian French, did not know that the Belgian word for impending imprisonment coincides perfectly with the French word for 'the center of the universe,' and so heard this phrase: "The people of Greece belive that cows are the center of the universe." (This happened to be almost truthful-- the same theory was popular in the Byzantine [Greek] Empire almost two thousand years before). The Frenchmen were delighted. Never before had they heard such sense. They repeated the idea to the Belgians to make sure that they had heard it right (coincidentally using a different word for 'the center of the universe'), and the Belgians were likewise thunderstruck. Wishing to thank Cabeza de Vaca for such enlightenment, one of the Belgians said, 'Fruit basket,' in a very grateful voice, and with, incidentally, a perfect Castillian accent. Cabeza, being from Estremadura and not Castile, thought that the Belgian had called him an apple-stealer, which was a humiliating insult in the town of Jerez where Cabeza was born (and which, to make matters worse, his father had been). Cabeza de Vaca flew into a rage, killing the unfortunate Belgian (this incident is what caused Cabeza’s subsequent imprisonment and removal to Spain), but by that time the idea that cows are the center of all things had spread to everyone else in the group, and nobody noticed. The men returned to their respective countries as missionaries to spread their new religion. All except the boy were soon executed for heresy (the boy was executed for witchcraft), but not before they had impressed their ideas on a small number of people. These people, most of whom happened to be small and hairy, established a tiny church in religiously tolerant Amsterdam called 'The Church of Cow Head.' The church still stands today, although it is now a clothing store called 'The Small and Hairy Man,' and an average of three tourists a year flock to this historic landmark.
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Nanohedron
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Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps. - Location: Lefse country
Oh, please. Please. It hurts. 
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Flyingcursor
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- Tell us something.: This is the first sentence. This is the second of the recommended sentences intended to thwart spam its. This is a third, bonus sentence!
- Location: Portsmouth, VA1, "the States"
Never eat a cold McDonald's biscuit unless you like the taste of lard.
Wouldn't it be cool if you saw somebody go to a drinking fountain and they accidently slipped and accidently bumped their elbow on the drinking fountain and a piece accidently broke off and accidently bounced down some stairs and accidently hit somebody on the head and while that person was figuring out what hit them, somebody accidently opened a door and hit the person who got hit on the head and they accidently fell into a vat of cream soda? That would be cool I think.
Wouldn't it be cool if you drank a couple of beers and started so think, "Hey I'm feeling pretty good", and then you drank a whole lot of beer and got sick and passed out then woke up the next day and drank some more so you would feel better and your spouse wouldn't have sex because you stunk like vomit and beer? That would be cool I think.
Wouldn't it be cool if you found a valuable coin in the grass and when you start to pick it up you find a whole bunch of them buried in the dirt and the more you dig the more you find and none of the bystanders were interested in your coins because they aren't really coins but discarded pieces of chewing gum? That would be cool I think.
Wouldn't it be cool if you saw somebody go to a drinking fountain and they accidently slipped and accidently bumped their elbow on the drinking fountain and a piece accidently broke off and accidently bounced down some stairs and accidently hit somebody on the head and while that person was figuring out what hit them, somebody accidently opened a door and hit the person who got hit on the head and they accidently fell into a vat of cream soda? That would be cool I think.
Wouldn't it be cool if you drank a couple of beers and started so think, "Hey I'm feeling pretty good", and then you drank a whole lot of beer and got sick and passed out then woke up the next day and drank some more so you would feel better and your spouse wouldn't have sex because you stunk like vomit and beer? That would be cool I think.
Wouldn't it be cool if you found a valuable coin in the grass and when you start to pick it up you find a whole bunch of them buried in the dirt and the more you dig the more you find and none of the bystanders were interested in your coins because they aren't really coins but discarded pieces of chewing gum? That would be cool I think.
I'm no longer trying a new posting paradigm
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FJohnSharp
- Posts: 3050
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- Tell us something.: I used to be a regular then I took up the bassoon. Bassoons don't have a lot of chiff. Not really, I have always been a drummer, and my C&F years were when I was a little tired of the drums. Now I'm back playing drums. I mist the C&F years, though.
- Location: Kent, Ohio
Have we not seen enough Scrooge movies this year? Ever since they reacquired the rights to It's Wonderful Life and play it only once or twice, they've inserted every imaginable good, bad, and pathetic Scrooge movie in its place.
"Meon an phobail a thogail trid an chultur"
(The people’s spirit is raised through culture)
Suburban Symphony
(The people’s spirit is raised through culture)
Suburban Symphony
