OT- IMMIGRATION TO CANADA

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:23 am

Hope you enjoy!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 The Columbus Dispatch

JOE BLUNDO

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

''I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.

The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

''He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

''Not real effective," he said. ''The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

''A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. ''I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border.

Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

''If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

''I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. ''How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

''We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

All the Best, Tom

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:26 am

I've read, if not this, something very similar, elsewhere on this forum.

TomB · Post by **TomB** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:27 am

Walden wrote:I've read, if not this, something very similar, elsewhere on this forum.

Oh, well, sorry to all if this has been "done before."

Tom

OnTheMoor · Post by **OnTheMoor** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:37 am

I think it's on the big one up top, but it is funny.

TyroneShoelaces · Post by **TyroneShoelaces** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:41 am

TomB wrote:
Walden wrote:I've read, if not this, something very similar, elsewhere on this forum.
Oh, well, sorry to all if this has been "done before."

Tom

don't worry about it...it's funny enough for a second read. thanks.

MarkB · Post by **MarkB** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:07 am

Look here if you are interested in immigrating to Canada:

http://www.canadianalternative.com/

Ya'awl come uphere fore a visit

MarkB

Bretton · Post by **Bretton** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:34 am

MarkB wrote:Look here if you are interested in immigrating to Canada:
http://www.canadianalternative.com/
Ya'awl come uphere fore a visit
MarkB

I was reading a novel recently that took place in Vancouver, BC. They kept mentioning things that made me go "Wow, maybe I should move to Canada."

Among other things, they made the police force in Canada sound very different that here in the U.S. Much more public service oriented and "friendlier." I don't know if that's really true since I was reading a fictional account.

Mark: Canada doesn't currently have a shortage of Librarians and/or Instructional Technologists at this time, does it?

-Brett

IDAwHOa · Post by **IDAwHOa** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:41 am

MarkB wrote:Look here if you are interested in immigrating to Canada:

http://www.canadianalternative.com/

Ya'awl come uphere fore a visit

MarkB

Nah, I'll stay here thank you. Idaho is close enough for me.

MarkB · Post by **MarkB** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:51 am

Hi Bret, here's the current list from Ontario Library Association website:

http://www.accessola.com/site/showPage. ... ndexG.html

Canadian Library Association website, scroll down to Regional Associations and click on them individually for career notices.

http://www.cla.ca/careers/careerinfo.htm

Under NAFTA, with a professional degree designation (MLIS, MIS, MLS) you can freely apply for any job in Canada, and can move here without a visa. just a letter from your future employer stating such.

I applied for a job in Southfield Michigan, two years ago, and almost got it and regardless of US Immigration may like to say, they can't stop me from working that job if I got it.

MarkB

bradhurley · Post by **bradhurley** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:33 am

Bretton wrote:I was reading a novel recently that took place in Vancouver, BC. They kept mentioning things that made me go "Wow, maybe I should move to Canada."

As a relative newcomer to Canada myself (2 years), a lot of my friends in the States have contacted me since the election about moving here, some of them are even serious about it. Canada is great, but there are some things you should be aware of:

1. Establishing permanent residency here is typically at least a two-year process and has to be done from outside the country. Quebec has a separate application process and different criteria.

2. Canada's population is a tenth of that of the United States, and yet the government tries to provide a similar or better level of social services. This leads to much higher taxes (I'm paying 52 percent in combined federal and provincial income taxes, for example, and there's a pretty hefty tax on purchased goods and services). I don't mind paying taxes, especially knowing that most of my taxes are going to support social services rather than national defense and aggression (unlike in the US), but it definitely was an adjustment.

3. Health care: when I lived in the States I always thought the dire reports of a healthcare crisis in Canada were a fiction created by conservatives who are opposed to the idea of socialized healthcare, but unfortunately it's true. I don't think the system itself is broken, it's just that it's underfunded and there's a shortage of doctors. Here in Montreal, all the family doctors stopped accepting new patients years ago. If you get sick you either go to a clinic or the emergency room. My girlfriend had to wait three months just to get an x-ray. It's pretty dire, and while the government is working on solutions, it's probably going to take years to fix.

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:55 am

I, for one, had not yet seen this and find it hilarious.

The last book I read that took place in Vancouver was by Michael Slade. It was about serial killers.

OnTheMoor · Post by **OnTheMoor** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:47 am

bradhurley wrote:
Bretton wrote:
3. Health care: when I lived in the States I always thought the dire reports of a healthcare crisis in Canada were a fiction created by conservatives who are opposed to the idea of socialized healthcare, but unfortunately it's true. I don't think the system itself is broken, it's just that it's underfunded and there's a shortage of doctors. Here in Montreal, all the family doctors stopped accepting new patients years ago. If you get sick you either go to a clinic or the emergency room. My girlfriend had to wait three months just to get an x-ray. It's pretty dire, and while the government is working on solutions, it's probably going to take years to fix.

Yep. But at the same time, it is not a life or death type problem. If you have a whistle stuck in your head, they'll probably see you right away. The Ontario government is delisting various things from the Ontario Health Plan and the current federal administration will probably be allowing more private delivery to ease the burden (as I see it). If you never get sick, like me, it doesn't matter much, but family doctors are an issue. It's probably true that you're better off being poor in Canada, but if you're middle-class, there are the good points and bad points, it largely depends on your politics.

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:12 pm

OnTheMoor

I thought I heard you were never going to play the wild rover never no more.

OnTheMoor · Post by **OnTheMoor** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:24 pm