Missionary Converts Lions To Christianity
- Lorenzo
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burnsbyrne wrote:Trying to evangelize lions is akin to trying to teach a pig to sing - it frustrates you and it annoys the pig.
Mike
you mean like...annoys, anoints, anoinks?
That reminds me of a fellow who use to travel to Montreal every summer to convert Rabbis to Christianity. He asked one Rabbi what he thought about Christ and he replied, "when I read about Christ, I think he was a good man." And when asked about Christians he replied, "when I read about Christians, I feel sorry for Christ."Will O'B wrote:When asked what his favorite thing was about Christianity, he [Ghandi] replied, "Christ." When asked what his least favorite thing was about Christianity he replied, "Christians."
Reminds me of one of my favorite entries from <a href="http://www.online-literature.com/bierce ... onary">The Devil's Dictionary</a>:Lorenzo wrote:...And when asked about Christians he replied, "when I read about Christians, I feel sorry for Christ."
Ambrose Bierce wrote: CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired
book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the
teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo!
The godly multitudes walked to and fro
Beneath, in Sabbath garments fitly clad,
With pious mien, appropriately sad,
While all the church bells made a solemn din --
A fire-alarm to those who lived in sin.
Then saw I gazing thoughtfully below,
With tranquil face, upon that holy show
A tall, spare figure in a robe of white,
Whose eyes diffused a melancholy light.
"God keep you, strange," I exclaimed. "You are
No doubt (your habit shows it) from afar;
And yet I entertain the hope that you,
Like these good people, are a Christian too."
He raised his eyes and with a look so stern
It made me with a thousand blushes burn
Replied -- his manner with disdain was spiced:
"What! I a Christian? No, indeed! I'm Christ."
G.J.
- Flyingcursor
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The one about the soldier being hung? I loved that story. Thank you for reminding me ofgeek4music wrote:I don't think Bierce was all there frankly. Either he was already on the edge or his US Civil War experiences drove him over. I love most of his work though. My favorite is "Incident at Owl Creek". Great short story.
the name, I'd been meaning to read it again. Nice twist at the end.
- Nanohedron
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- glauber
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I'm sure that guy was insane. He did a lot more than trying to convert the lions, it seems. I think he started playing "bullfighter" with his suit jacket.
Thinking about it, i wonder if it was a "creative" way to commit suicide. Maybe he just wanted out.
Thinking about it, i wonder if it was a "creative" way to commit suicide. Maybe he just wanted out.
On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog!
--Wellsprings--
--Wellsprings--
- Nanohedron
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Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps. - Location: Lefse country
You're probably right, there. It's all very easy for me to go about name-calling; aside from growing up in close association with institutionalised mental patients (one of my parents being an occupational therapist for some years) and knowing the suffering they endured, in my adolescence I skirted the edge of schizoprenia myself. Fortunately by my 30s I was able to drag myself out, and sometimes forget that others may not have that option.glauber wrote:I'm sure that guy was insane. He did a lot more than trying to convert the lions, it seems. I think he started playing "bullfighter" with his suit jacket.
Thinking about it, i wonder if it was a "creative" way to commit suicide. Maybe he just wanted out.
- Lorenzo
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Why, no! And as a potential parallel, if someone were to try and sell their brand of Christianity to an Islamic faction, let's say in the heart of Fallujah, and ends up with a slit throat, what would that make them? Or unmake them? Christ sent out the disciples with the promise that no harm would come to them...Nanohedron wrote:I'm free to jump into a passle of lions and harangue them. I'm free to drink until my liver splits open. Does that freedom unmake me an idiot?
Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Mark 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them;
- emmline
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Then how come they got beat up, thrown in jail, skewered, etc?Lorenzo wrote: Christ sent out the disciples with the promise that no harm would come to them...
Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Mark 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them;
perhaps, they, or we, misinterpreted something.
(oops...maybe this is the wrong thread?)
(fixed my quotes)
Last edited by emmline on Sat Nov 06, 2004 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Darwin
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I think I've posted this link before: Farewell to Yonkerdu.Nanohedron wrote:sometimes forget that others may not have that option.
It's beginning of a novel (the first of eight chapters) by an old college friend, Tom McClellan, who has been institutionalized quite a few times, and is writing from experience.
It's been about 38 years since we last saw one another, and I'm looking forward to seeing him again when we move to Dallas.
Mike Wright
"When an idea is wanting, a word can always be found to take its place."
--Goethe
"When an idea is wanting, a word can always be found to take its place."
--Goethe
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Christian lion
Have it on good .. well not bad .. but not really all that good .. authority that the lions were Christians. They did say grace before partaking of their lunch.
Jim
Jim