20 ways to avoid ennui
- stiofan
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20 ways to avoid ennui
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Sing along at the opera.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation when you speak
9. As often as possible, skip with a limp rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are, then laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical
sounds all day.
15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
Hard.
17. In the elevator, open your briefcase just a smidgen, and say
"have you got enough air in there"?
18. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we're
going to have to let one of you go."
20. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Sing along at the opera.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation when you speak
9. As often as possible, skip with a limp rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are, then laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical
sounds all day.
15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
Hard.
17. In the elevator, open your briefcase just a smidgen, and say
"have you got enough air in there"?
18. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we're
going to have to let one of you go."
20. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
- Chuck_Clark
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On a somewhat-related note:
When I was small and didn't want to finish my food, my grandmother would tell me to think of all the starving children in China that would *love* to have this good food.
My wife (Chinese) tells me that her mother used the same line - except it was starving children in India.
An Indian friend reports that *his* mother shamed him with starving children in Africa.
When I was small and didn't want to finish my food, my grandmother would tell me to think of all the starving children in China that would *love* to have this good food.
My wife (Chinese) tells me that her mother used the same line - except it was starving children in India.
An Indian friend reports that *his* mother shamed him with starving children in Africa.
- TonyHiggins
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I had a list once of '"100 Ways to Annoy People." I think most of this stuff was on it. Some were hilarious. I brought it to work (I was the supervisor) and we had some good laughs. One thing on the list was something like insisting on being called El Conquistador or something. My coworkers made me a cape to wear at work with that on it. I had to humor them and wear it. We were collecting blood at a blood drive at a Silicon Valley company. If my bosses found out, they'd flip. They were so anal.
Tony
Tony
http://tinwhistletunes.com/clipssnip/newspage.htm Officially, the government uses the term “flap,” describing it as “a condition, a situation or a state of being, of a group of persons, characterized by an advanced degree of confusion that has not quite reached panic proportions.”
- Nanohedron
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- BrassBlower
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While eating in a public place, make a point of sniffing every bite before putting it in your mouth.
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I do not feel obliged to believe that that same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-Galileo
I do not feel obliged to believe that that same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-Galileo
- chas
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My father and his sisters didn't like the crusts of their bread when they were growing up. If their grandmother caught them throwing their crusts on the floor, she used to make them recite:DCrom wrote:On a somewhat-related note:
When I was small and didn't want to finish my food, my grandmother would tell me to think of all the starving children in China that would *love* to have this good food.
My wife (Chinese) tells me that her mother used the same line - except it was starving children in India.
An Indian friend reports that *his* mother shamed him with starving children in Africa.
I will not throw upon the floor the crust I will not eat
For some poor Indian or African child it would be quite a treat
Charlie
Whorfin Woods
"Our work puts heavy metal where it belongs -- as a music genre and not a pollutant in drinking water." -- Prof Ali Miserez.
Whorfin Woods
"Our work puts heavy metal where it belongs -- as a music genre and not a pollutant in drinking water." -- Prof Ali Miserez.
- Walden
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I avoided this thread for a little while, and then curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know what an ennui was, so I wound up looking in the dictionary. Turns out it's not some new-fangled kind of Eskimo from Canada, so I guess the thread is P.C. after all.
Thanks for the vocabularial lesson. I just get educateder and educateder running around with you fine people.
Thanks for the vocabularial lesson. I just get educateder and educateder running around with you fine people.
Reasonable person
Walden
Walden