Someone should get a smiting for this...

dreamerlass · Post by **dreamerlass** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:19 am

http://www.tradcentre.com/dialup/uilleannjokes.html

Patrick D'Arcy · Post by **Patrick D'Arcy** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 11:27 am

Very good!

PD.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 12:44 pm

...I'd laugh, but they're all true...

benwalker · Post by **benwalker** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 4:13 pm

Well really! I have never been so offended in all my born days.

some good ones, especially the last.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 5:46 pm

I think that I have heard them all before, but instead of Uilleann Pipes, it was a Trombone.

fel bautista · Post by **fel bautista** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 8:24 pm

Brilliant- I like the air bags best

Pat Cannady · Post by **Pat Cannady** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:57 am

They're still not as bad as orchestra conductor or choir jokes:

What's the difference between an orchestra conductor and a sack of sh*t?

The sack.

What's the difference between a lead soprano and a pit bull?

The jewelry.

What's the definition of a male quartet?

3 men and a tenor.

How do you tell the difference between an alto and a tenor?

The tenor doesn't have hair on his back.

What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?

With a bull, the horns are in front and the a$$hole is in the back...

seanny · Post by **seanny** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 10:05 am

I heard Joe Burke on television talking about a fiddler who had died penniless, without enough money even to bury him. The hat went round to a group or fellow musicians to chip in towards giving him a dignified send-off. One player (a box player) asked how much was expected of him, and was told that a fiver would be about right. His response to this was: "Well here's ten - bury two whilst you're at it"

djm · Post by **djm** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 11:54 am

Actually, the story was about a box player being buried, and the donator was a fiddler. The story was told in relating how much pipers and fiddlers despised boxes when they were first introduced.

Some of us still despise them today.

djm

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:30 pm

Now, now, If we can't be nice, we had better not be at all.....

Unseen122 · Post by **Unseen122** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:02 pm

You poor Pipers :roll: You should hear how the GHBs get beat on it doesn't even compare.

Douglas · Post by **Douglas** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:30 pm

Some of those were pretty good. But, being a GHB player I am used to a lot more of the trash talk jokes than that, and they tend to be more true regarding the GHB's.

Joseph E. Smith · Post by **Joseph E. Smith** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:37 pm

I have played GHBs for over 20 years, and I have heard a few really nasty pipe jokes over that time. Now that I am playing UPs, I expect no, and I mean NO, reason not to hear even nastier UP jokes...it's only fair isn't it?

Davey · Post by **Davey** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:48 pm

...I don't mind verbal jokes... but Joe, remember when some idiot poured sand down Jay's bass drone???

I remember reading a comic strip where a kid was asking a man in a sherman tank why the tank was here...

"for protection"

"oh, for which part of the parade?"

"Part of the marching band"

"really? which part"

"The bagpipes"

or another comic which showed an apartment complex. In one window was a sign reading "bagpipes for sale" in the other windows were other signs "thank god!" "bless allah" "way to go Joe" etc...

...or..musical failure # 121 --> "Boxpipes" ...phphphpht!

Post by **Nanohedron** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 4:15 pm

Rather OT, but bear with me (it includes pipes, anyway):

The other nite during the session at Keegan's, we had four pipers on hand, and the presence of four sets of drones filling the air was wonderful. Remarkably, it was also a bodhranless session; a rare thing. As I mused about the counters for things (murder of crows, pod of whales, etc.), I wondered what a plurality of pipers might be called. "Tionol"? Not quite. "Plethora" was offered. I was hoping for something more colorful, but it'll do for now.

Then someone asked what would you call a plurality of bodhran players, and I said, "A feck." Got a laugh for that.

Chiff and Fipple Forums

Someone should get a smiting for this...

Someone should get a smiting for this...

Jokes...