Just a Joke

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Tue May 04, 2004 8:45 pm

You better watch your back, Weeks.

I don't know exactly what Mouse is up to, but every day, it's back and forth, back and forth, haulin' dem seeds. He's savin' up for something big, I tell you.

Best wishes,
Jerry

PhilO · Post by **PhilO** » Tue May 04, 2004 10:39 pm

Lorenzo, Weekenders:

Philo

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Wed May 05, 2004 12:41 am

Q: How many Texan presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No luck so far but we've got high hopes for the grandson.

Lorenzo · Post by **Lorenzo** » Wed May 05, 2004 7:50 am

Dolly Parton was watching the news one evening and later found herself repeating two names she'd heard over and over. First the one and then the other, the one and then the other. It was the President's and Vice President's names. They just kept coming back and she couldn't seem to shake'em. She was confused and didn't know for sure what the news was about. Something was amiss. Suddenly it dawned on her what was going on and she was filled with jealousy.

Why?

Steven · Post by **Steven** » Wed May 05, 2004 10:03 am

Lorenzo wrote:Philo -
Weekenders -

Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees "The President Must Die" written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty pissed off.

He storms into his security staff's headquaters and yells, "Somebody wrote a death threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! SOB had to be standing right on the porch when he did it!

Where were you guys?"

The security guys stand silent and stare ashamedly at the floor. Bill hollers, "Well dammit, don't just sit there! Get out and FIND OUT WHO DID IT! Someone wants my job. I want an answer, and I want it TONIGHT!"

The entire staff immediately jumped up and raced for the exits. Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says, "Well Mr. President, we have some bad news, and we have some really bad news. Which do you want first?"

Clinton says, "Oh Hell, give me the bad news first." The officer says, "Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Al Gore's urine."

Clinton says, "Oh my god, I feel so ... so betrayed! I should have known. My own vice president! Damn. Well, what's the really bad news?"

The officer replies, "Well, it's Hillary's handwriting."

Funny, I first heard this with Reagan, Bush (elder)'s urine, and Nancy's handwriting! One wonders how many presidents it's been through....

Steven

Steven · Post by **Steven** » Wed May 05, 2004 10:04 am

Wombat wrote:Q: How many Texan presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No luck so far but we've got high hopes for the grandson.

Boy, that's gonna be tough, given that Dubya just has the two daughters. Do you know something about Jenna or Barbara that I don't?

Steven

Montana · Post by **Montana** » Wed May 05, 2004 10:21 am

Lorenzo wrote:Dolly Parton was watching the news one evening and later found herself repeating two names she'd heard over and over. First the one and then the other, the one and then the other. It was the President's and Vice President's names. They just kept coming back and she couldn't seem to shake'em. She was confused and didn't know for sure what the news was about. Something was amiss. Suddenly it dawned on her what was going on and she was filled with jealousy.

Why?

Because she realized she'd found two boobs bigger than hers?

Lorenzo · Post by **Lorenzo** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:01 am

You said it, Montana, thanks for filling us in. Didn't think anyone would want to touch it.

Steven, Senior does have a grandson, Jeb's boy, but he ain't from techs-ass.

Re the "you're-in" joke, and how many presidents it has been through, it may have originated with President Author (1881-85), I don't think Harding would have done such a thing, but I've heard rumors that Hoover did it before he became Prez, and left no tracks in the snow.