Money & spouses

[James Connelly]

How do you approach your spouses when you want a new pennywhistle, flute etc.? Playing, buying, practicing, all have to be in harmony with the family, especially when there's no money coming in from gigs. Even if there's no strain on the budget, there's always something WE need more than a flute (pennywhistles are fairley cheap). Of course my wife lets me have whatever I want.(disclaimer) but how do the rest of you guys and girls handle it?

[Easily_Deluded_Fool]

After years of 'putting the family first' - really meaning 'doing without so everybody else gets what they want/need in preference'
I think it's called 'being a parent'!, I just buy what I want.

Now, if anyone says anything, I point out that they get their pocket money/allowance, transport - lifts to work/college/skool etc,
and have done for ....... (insert own time scale here) .....

So, if I want something e.g. another whistle/flute, and Mrs Fool says anything, I look at the ornaments on the shelves,
and compare cost number etc to the musical instruments I have.

Treat yerself!
If you can afford it, and still want it after trying to suppress the WHOA, BUY IT!

[Redwolf]

It depends. I keep the books, so if it's a cheapie and I know we can afford it, I just buy it. If it's a more expensive whistle, my husband and I talk it over...and normally I don't consider buying a high ender unless we're expecting a bit of a windfall and are both figuring on getting a little "present." He's never said "no," but then he knows I'm not going to spend the money if we can't afford it, and that I will put the purchase off if something expensive comes up before I place the order.

Ever since we were first married, we've had a policy that expensive purchases would be discussed before being bought (though what we define as "expensive" has changed), and I think that's stood us in good stead.

Redwolf

[jbarter]

My wife is the family flute player. You can get an awful lot of whistles before the guilt from a new flute wears off.

[missy]

He plays, too!!!


Missy

[Jayhawk]

This used to be a sore topic between my wife and me. She's a one instrument kind of person (same guitar for 20 years, etc.), so she had a hard time understanding why I wanted a keyless and a keyed flute for example or even why I wanted a "real" flute when I had a hall crystal flute and my homemade bamboo flutes.

However, she got a horse, and that led to my first real flute. Then, when I received a recent promotion, the issue seemed to fade away.

Eric

[emmline]

You just don't say anything when he buys yet another book with a title like "The not-so-big craftsman style Greene & Greene Lloyd Wright bungalow book."

[JessieK]

Good topic! This marriage I am in is very different from my first one. In the first marriage, our finances (and lots of other things) were totally separate, so I never asked him what he thought. I just bought whatever I wanted and showed him when they arrived (we did play music together). My current husband and I share everything, including finances, so I do discuss every purchase with him. The small ones, I just mention with no issue. But the big ones, I discuss with him ahead of time and see what he thinks. Luckily, he is obsessed with recording music (the songs he writes) with professional people (recording engineer, musicians, etc.), and he spends quite a lot on that, so we support each other in our musical interests, which do overlap (I record vocal and woodwind parts for his stuff), and neither of us minds when the other spends money on the thing(s) we love. But we do discuss it ahead of time.

[Tyghress]

Everything in perspective. Tyghre does computer stuff...I did whistle and knitting stuff. When things get way off balance I declare it time for him to take me out for dinner.....NICE dinner....

Our hobby expenditure has never taken food off the table or caused us not to pay bills, or delayed buying clothing or pet food, or even vacations. Or putting money into the savings account.

Of course, the flip side is if I'm not playing it, have no emotional attachment to it, and want another....sell it and don't collect for the sake of collecting.

[jim stone]

One can't play flutes without cork grease, obviously,
and often the maker will send cork grease with
a new flute. I've persuaded The Boss that
this is the only way to get cork grease. Best

[JessieK]

One can't play flutes without cork grease, obviously,
and often the maker will send cork grease with
a new flute. I've persuaded The Boss that
this is the only way to get cork grease. Best

LOL!!

[IDAwHOa]

One can't play flutes without cork grease, obviously,
and often the maker will send cork grease with
a new flute. I've persuaded The Boss that
this is the only way to get cork grease. Best

THAT is expensive cork grease!!!

I just buy what I want. I did discuss the recent purchase of our Bleazey whistles with her since that took quite a chunk of change. She has always told me that as long as I will use it to go ahead. When it is not being used it is liquidated. I have also gotten quite a bit of leeway after I bought her a Casey Burns flute of her very own!!!!!

Steven

[jim stone]

Nah, it's cheap cork grease. They send it
for free with the new flute! Best

[markv]

Self-supporting hobbies.

Band money, which usually ends up going to band related things, which in turn are tax deductable.

Other hobbies either can be either sold at craft shows (instrument building, clock making, kinetic sculpture from obsolete electronics, bookbinding) or make other hobbies more affordable. For example, I tie flies for fly fishing which is cheaper than buying flies.

There is always this wierd syzygy of hobbies going on in our house.

Can you tell I used to be an ecologist?


Mark V.

[janice]

Hubby's a musician (if you count trombone- ), so he understands that musical wants and needs are one and the same! He didn't even blink when I wanted/bought a new set of upipes a couple of years ago (now that's looovvveee).