EXORCISE the EXTRA-HOLERS' HERESY! (time for a brawl)

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Fri Mar 12, 2004 7:13 pm

NicoMoreno wrote:buy a cheese grater

Haven't yet seen one with a fipple.

NicoMoreno · Post by **NicoMoreno** » Fri Mar 12, 2004 7:16 pm

good point: buy a whistle: there's your fipple. buy a cheese grater: there's your 170 holes. Alternatively, you could PLAY the cheese grater using the whistle: sort a washboard thing

IDAwHOa · Post by **IDAwHOa** » Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:24 pm

OK, what about the whistlesmiths (and I am talking about some pretty well known and respected ones at that) that add a Cnat hole to their whistles! Are they to be tied to the stake and burned as the witches were as well?

And what about KEYS on a whistle. That surely must be considered as well, since that implies extra holes. (ZUBE? http://chiffboard.mati.ca/viewtopic.php ... highlight=) Geez, how many holes does THAT thing have?

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:36 am

Hey. (Cue provincial attitude and small-town band backbeat) If it's good enough for Moses, it's good enough for me.

(Anyone know if Moses played whistle?)

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:54 am

emmline wrote:Hey. (Cue provincial attitude and small-town band backbeat) If it's good enough for Moses, it's good enough for me.

(Anyone know if Moses played whistle?)

No, he played recorder.

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:56 am

*rimshot*

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:07 am

Jerry Freeman wrote:*rimshot*

Well in all honesty, I must admit he played a mean Klezmer clarinet on the side.

Loren · Post by **Loren** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:01 pm

burnsbyrne wrote:The number of holes in one's instrument correlates with the number of holes in his head.

Hold up a minute guys, I'm still trying to accurately calculate the number of holes in my head: Do eye sockets count? I mean technically eye sockets are holes in the head, but most of the time they are plugged up with a couple of eyeballs, so do I count them as holes or not

Whew, good thing counting tone holes on whistles and recorders is so much easier - at this rate I'll never get all the tone holes properly drilled in my upcoming batch of skull ocarinas.....

Loren

NicoMoreno · Post by **NicoMoreno** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 1:50 pm

Don't you mean "skull-carinas"?

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 3:28 pm

NorCalMusician wrote:And what about KEYS on a whistle. That surely must be considered as well, since that implies extra holes. (ZUBE? http://chiffboard.mati.ca/viewtopic.php ... highlight=) Geez, how many holes does THAT thing have?

Brother... you make me speechless--so I'll be short

1.1 Let me, arrumpfh... foyst thank you for spotlighting the cross I chose to bear--the Holey Burden of The Censor.

1.2 I had to take example from the Holy Inquisitor. He had to read every Heretic book before he could Name And Classify the Heresies and File Them into the Vatican's Index. He Knew this Crap would Pervert your Limited Brain Circonvolutions, while he HimSelf could take a lot more and look Mom no cry, that's the True Machism of Celibacy fer you.

1.3 Just like the righteous Family Man who runs the Cinema Rating Board has to view Every Spore and Germ movie before he can rate it PG. And the Cross he Bears is that sometimes he gets a Kick out of It, so he Soils His Soul, in order to Protect Yours. *

1.4 Same thing here in Mesquer, Church of the Holey Six, as in the Vaults of Vatican: they read then keep the Ugly Books Stashed Away from the fragile Crowd's Temptations. The Mesquer cellars pretend to be wine seasoners but also detain Other Temptations, as multi-holed whistling Heresies, and apocryphical Scrolls and more that the layman or laylady should not Know aBout. And I put the Lock on these, unless some Buddy drops in and we uncork a Few Clarets, is all.

1.4 1/2 In short, I try and sample--and play--every heretic fippled thing, so as to enlighten you by "indexing" it and barring you access to these Heresies. Take it as Consumer's Report, or the Ralph AND Nadir AND Zeneth of whistle nitpicking. If I didn't see the Devil, how could I warn you against his many Faces?

And his Mug has 8 holes**!

* No wonder so much of classical philosophy is German: they capitalize every second word, so It just Looks so Profound and Esoteric...

** An 8-hole mug inprobability IS the limit between Faith and Topology--the Devil's Theology.

GaryKelly · Post by **GaryKelly** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 3:56 pm

Blessed are the cheesemakers...

Follow the shoe! The shoe!

Daniel_Bingamon · Post by **Daniel_Bingamon** » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:34 pm

Wombat wrote:Well in all honesty, I must admit he played a mean Klezmer clarinet on the side.

I could just imagine Moses playing Shalom Aleichem or even better - have him playing the Romanian Doyna.

Wombat · Post by **Wombat** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 12:26 am

Daniel_Bingamon wrote:
Wombat wrote:Well in all honesty, I must admit he played a mean Klezmer clarinet on the side.
I could just imagine Moses playing Shalom Aleichem or even better - have him playing the Romanian Doyna.

Yep. And to think he had to take a life's supply of reeds with him from Egypt too.

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 3:40 am

Daniel_Bingamon wrote:
Wombat wrote:Well in all honesty, I must admit he played a mean Klezmer clarinet on the side.
I could just imagine Moses playing Shalom Aleichem or even better - have him playing the Romanian Doyna.

Wondering if Hava Nageela should be played on the bombarde, rather than the NA (north african) flute, I dusted one of the Hidden Scrolls from the Mesquer Vaults. Here's what I found.

1) "Tubalcain was the father of all Whistlesemits".
The spelling got distorted in modern Aramo-American, but what do they spell right?

2) It's Moses indeed who fixed the Sacred Number of Holes in a True Whistle.
He knew that from the Great Priests of Egypts who hid the Secret from the People, or rather let the sand do its job after they neatly balanced the True Pyramids on the 6th tip, or Nadir.

3) The Rec Order HERESY! comes from the Illiterates and Litteralists who didn't understand the Hidden sense beyond the masquerade of "Octahedron": the fool read of eight edges, when the Wise know it's enough of Six peaks.

4) This symbol has a less direct connection with the Holes:

It tells the seven diatonic tones. The center is apart because it's not a True Hole but Where is the BEAF (Bell End and Fundamental). Aptly, it's where you stick the whistle to dry after playing (while the others can hold the sheet music).
Unfortunately, its misinterpretation led to the Minor Heresy or Major Misdimeanor of the C-Nat Thumbers.

5) To make it clear once for all, David devised a sketch. It symbolizes the hidden number and the Pyramid (with its visible tip and its buried tip), but one may admit it's a wee bit more portable.

From this one easily derives the Right Number of Holes, also the Twelve Semitones and their Halfholes, while not leading to the great confusion known as "HEHROR" (Horrific Eight Hedrons Rampant Heresy Of Recorders).

To quote Pr Kurtz in Un poco whistle now : "The Hehrhor... The Hehrhor..."

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 6:41 am

(And in case you didn't know, the Nicean Council excised all references to six-holed whistles from the chosen books. I'm fairly certain Mary Mag's Clarke is hidden under the *************** with her.)

edited after a speedy induction into the Priory of Sion. Looking forward to my first secret ceremony. Handy that any recently purchased clothes are white or black anyway. (what are those color-choosers of the fashion industry thinking? Apple green? Salmon? yuck.)

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EXORCISE the EXTRA-HOLERS' HERESY! (time for a brawl)

Nader & Zenith