General Whistles Co. to recall all its Waldtones!

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 9:21 am

We take it from reliable sources that the General Whistles Co. is to recall all its Waldtones whistles, including those who earlier marketed under the brands Murphy's Pinta Red (aka MPR) and Acmephonix.

Though primarily intended as gifts for tourists' souvenir shops, the incriminated whistles would present the potential risk of damaging eardrums if overblown too hard in a closed room.

Though only a limited number of these whistles are dangerously unbalanced, the lack of serial numbers made it necessary to recall ALL the whistles.
These should be taken back to the original seller's, who will reinforce the faulty part with a undisclosed compound code-named "Bloom-Tack" by GW.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 10:09 am

As an alternative, GW might consider stamping all future products with a warning label, such as:

"Caution: The whistle you are about to enjoy may burn you if used to stir coffee from McDonald's."

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 1:42 pm

This sort of thing is very sad, as it impacts the entire industry.

Unfortunately, when something like this happens, people don't remember what kind of whistles were involved and how the problems were addressed. Nor are they aware of the outstanding safety record of tinwhistles, with not a single fatality reported in the entire 161 years since tinwhistles were first mass produced. All they remember is, "Weren't some whistles recalled for safety problems?"

Sad, indeed.

Best wishes,
Jerry

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 4:17 pm

You're so right, Jerry

Now, look at the bright side of the, er... moon? No, you guys say "street".

I mean, cheer up! Don't you like the idea of playing the Corvair of woodwinds, whatever Ralph says? Not your Ralph but Nader, of course:
I know yours is into Corvair tuning, not bashing )8)

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 4:22 pm

Jerry Freeman wrote:... Nor are they aware of the outstanding safety record of tinwhistles, with not a single fatality reported in the entire 161 years since tinwhistles were first mass produced.

Mmmmh. This one was a close shave, though.

Dale Wisely wrote:Which reminds of me the Phineas Gage thing. Remember?

Phineas Gage was a young railroad construction supervisor in the Rutland and Burland Railroad site, in Vermont. In September 1848, while taking a break and playing an early version of an Overton low D whistle (1848 was, of course, before Colin Goldie's time, so Bernard Overton must have made it), an explosion projected the whistle against his skull, at a high velocity. The whistle entered his head through his left cheek, traversed the frontal part of the brain, and left the top of the skull at the other side. Gage lost consciousness immediately, however, he recovered conscious moments later, and was taken to a local doctor, John Harlow. Amazingly, he was talking and could walk. (It was amazing that Phineas could talk and walk. I'm not sure about the doctor). Phineas lost a lot of blood, but after a bout with infection, he not only survived the ghastly lesion, but recovered well, too. Months later, however, Gage began to have startling changes in personality in mood. He became obsessed with collecting whistles, as opposed to actually playing them, and could no longer hold a job or plan his future. "Gage was no longer Gage", said his friends of him. He died in 1861, thirteen years after the accident, penniless, homeless, with only the clothes on his back and a really fabulous whistle collection. His former physician, John Harlow, interviewed his friends and relatives, and wrote three articles, reporting Gage's reconstructed medical history, one in 1848, entitled "Passage of a Low D Whistle Through the Head", another in 1868, titled "Recovery from the Passage of a Low D Whistle Through the Head", and another in 1869, "Neurotraumatic Whistle Obsessive Acquisition (N-WhOA) Disorder Due to Passage of a Low D Whistle Through the Head."

http://www.chiffandfipple.com/kneedriving.html

PhilO · Post by **PhilO** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 4:44 pm

Alas, for some, this recall merely closes the barn door after it's been firmly shut I'm afraid. For those afflicted and wishing to join the class action suit, please contact the WAIL (Whistle and Impairment Loss) Foundation. Be advised that you may not join both the WAIL class and the WHISSIYE (Whistle Stuck In Your Ear) class, as the latter condition is in no way related to or caused by the whistles recalled herein.

Fondly,

PhilO

IDAwHOa · Post by **IDAwHOa** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 5:17 pm

In late breaking news it is reported that PETA and HSUS are getting involved in a potential law suit for animal cruelty. Seems that in neighborhoods where these defective whistles are played there has been a rash of vet visits in which owners of dogs are reporting abnormal aggressiveness and hearing problems in their animals.

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 5:20 pm

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 7:17 pm

In other news, and striking yet another PR blow to the beleaguered whistle industry, "Subway Vigilante" Bernard Goetz opened fire on a group of Renaissance Faire revelers on a subway car.
Claims Goetz, "They were threatening me with a sharpened whistle...and they were wearing horse tails!"
When the wielder of the sharpened whistle, recovering under the ministrations of the local bloodletter, was asked to comment, his response was that, "I can't help that it was sharpened! When the wench in the kissing booth planted one on me I dropped it on its head!
Manufacturer of the suspect whistle, General Whistles Co., has declined to comment pending consultation with its attorneys.

Bloomfield · Post by **Bloomfield** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 7:23 pm

Wow. I haven't thought about Bernie Goetz in years.

emmline · Post by **emmline** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 7:26 pm

Bloomfield wrote:Wow. I haven't thought about Bernie Goetz in years.

oh, sorry.

trisha · Post by **trisha** » Tue Jan 13, 2004 2:39 pm

Jerry Freeman wrote:Eh?

>Last edited by Jerry Freeman on Tue Jan 13, 2004 4:15 am; edited 1 time in total

How can you edit that? :roll:

Trisha

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Tue Jan 13, 2004 2:45 pm

See? Defective whistles also cause cognitive impairment.

kidding

--James

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Tue Jan 13, 2004 2:53 pm

trisha wrote:
Jerry Freeman wrote:Eh?
>Last edited by Jerry Freeman on Tue Jan 13, 2004 4:15 am; edited 1 time in total

How can you edit that? :roll:

Trisha

It was pointed out by PM that "Eh?" reads better than "Heh?" so I edited the piece. They say good writers are always on the lookout for deadwood they can edit out.

Best wishes,
Jerry

Daniel_Bingamon · Post by **Daniel_Bingamon** » Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:55 pm

You see these little "Self-Defense" whistles in the stores. They are loud!
They have the wrong idea on this, this could really hurt someones ears - most like the offender who is likely to sue you.

What a real self-defense whistle needs a place where you can mount a .357 clip. Don't forget to twist the fipple counterclockwise from "safety" to "fire" position.