3Fish Productions may buy K-Mart

Post by **Dale** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 7:32 pm

3Fish Productions is considering buying K-Mart and converting hundreds of stores into whistle "superstores." Here's a rough plan for a typical store layout.

Note: The idea of having just one employee per store saves money on overhead. This should help offset the cost of rent, which is expected to be kind of high. That, my friends, is just good business sense.

Thanks to the folks at INDUSTRIAL LIGHT & MAGIC for graphical assistance.

We're going to "leak" this information. So, watch what happens to K-Mart stock tomorrow!

Dale

P.S. Note to Thom Larson at The Whistle Shop. Don't worry, Thom. As long as I run a business, you'll have a place to go.

[ This Message was edited by: DaleWisely on 2002-01-23 20:38 ]

whistle god · Post by **whistle god** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 7:43 pm

Where's the bathroom?

Sara · Post by **Sara** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 7:44 pm

That's so funny! I'll be the 1 employee, if you want! I like the layout plan too - I hate stores that are jam-packed, where you don't have any "elbow-room".

Imagine peace,
Sara

Cody · Post by **Cody** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 7:49 pm

My god man you mean I can actually roll a shopping cart around the store without knocking things off of the shelves in the narrow aisles?!
However, Whistlegod's question about the bathroom is quite significant. I heard that whistlers pee more than average folk so you may want to install two of each. Maybe it's the Guinness?
Which brings to mind another possible addition. . .

kardshark87 · Post by **kardshark87** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 8:09 pm

I know over stuff with the cart even if the aisles aren't narrow!....

Brent

Stan · Post by **Stan** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 8:21 pm

Methinks we'll need a name for this venture:

FIPPLES R US

DALE'S WHISTLE DEPOT

TINWHISTLE THINGIES

TOOTERS

dakotamouse · Post by **dakotamouse** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 10:47 pm

Ooooooh, I opt for Tooters!

Firefly · Post by **Firefly** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 11:18 pm

Where's the bathroom? you ask???

Where, pray tell, is the Guinness vending machine!?!? Prioritize, people!

~Firefly

BrassBlower · Post by **BrassBlower** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 11:25 pm

Best laugh I've had since the chat! Keep it up!

Slan,
BB

RCORC · Post by **RCORC** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 11:33 pm

So, is this venture to be financed by ill-gotten Enron gains?

Cody · Post by **Cody** » Wed Jan 23, 2002 11:36 pm

Another thought:
Can Andrea Corr be the Assistant Manager? If she doesn't want to do it I'll be happy with one of her sisters!
I vote for Tooters as the Corporate name. It sounds appropriate doesn't it? If I'm not mistaken KMart is owned by Kresge Company, and that sounds too stuffy. So people might not want to go into a store called Chiff & Fipple. Unless of course there are mannequins in the window scantily clad in various leather goods. But Tooters will bring 'em in and WhOA will keep 'em coming back!
For the guy customers Andrea or one of her sisters can personally try out everywhistle before it leaves the store. She can play a scale or two, and Dale can charge three times the market price for a whistle.
For the gal customers I don't know of any hot whistle players of the male gender. Maybe they will settle for Jim Corr, I don't know. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
We could have a special offer: If a guy buys a set of Chieftan's, Patrick O'Riordan's, Copeland's, etc. he gets a date with Andrea. Maybe just a big hug and a kiss on the cheek if he's married.

For the gals I'm at a loss probably because I'm a guy.

_________________
Professional artist. Amateur everything else.

[ This Message was edited by: Cody on 2002-01-24 00:37 ]

totst · Post by **totst** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 1:06 am

.
For the gal customers I don't know of any hot whistle players of the male gender

They get a date with the undisputed...

John Allison · Post by **John Allison** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 5:03 am

May I propose a potential Southern California store layout???

[ This Message was edited by: John Allison on 2002-01-24 06:07 ]

Jens_Hoppe · Post by **Jens_Hoppe** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 5:14 am

Hehe, hilarious.

But I would go and see Dale at his booth - after I'd been to see that Corr woman of course. And perhaps been in that jacuzzi...

Jens

[ This Message was edited by: Jens_Hoppe on 2002-01-24 06:15 ]

brewerpaul · Post by **brewerpaul** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 6:33 am

Gee- with all that empty space, acoustics oughta be great for testing whistles...
Are you sure you won't need a staff Podiatrist for this venture?