Dale denies responsibility for power outtage

Daniel_Bingamon · Post by **Daniel_Bingamon** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 5:55 am

Oh yes, the Crystal People - maybe Dale really does have something to do with this.

NEW FLASH
Crystal People Network

Earth Planentary Grid knock out due to teenage driving.
Wednesday Afternoon, a major portion of the power grid in the acquisition region referred to as the "United States" has knocked out by Johny Viagra, son of the Crystal Peoples Planetary Acquisition Fleets Admiral Viagra. Viagras son reportedly drinking had requisitioned a dual whistle ship with saucer section drive from the motor pool and had driven it through power lines, he thought the spark show was cool.
The ship was not seen on the ground, the cloaking generator appeared to absorb the gigawatt shock.
The admiral was questioned by CPNA (Crystal People News Agency) located in the Antarctic Region Planetary Acquisition Base, Viagra's response was small and to the point, he is quote saying, "^C### TRANSMISSION HALTED - AUTHORIZATION VIAGRA ###".

madguy · Post by **madguy** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 8:00 am

Actually, it looks now like it all began in Michigan. Is Dale ther???

~Larry

Post by **Dale** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 8:16 am

In 1993, Alabama and much of the Southeastern US was hit by a blizzard. An actual blizzard. We got 13" of snow--unheard of in the century. And because we're not supposed to get that kind of snow, no equipment exists to clear it. And because we don't get that kind of snow, it brought down tree after tree and took down the power grid. We had no power for 7 days. Temps hovered around 0 degree F for a couple of days before warming up to, I don't know 35 or something.

Anyway, we burned all the firewood pretty quick. Mercifully, we had hot water, which allowed us to fill plastic bottles and jugs with hot water and put them in our beds, at our feet, etc., which helped tremendously.

As the week wore on we just got more and more miserable from fatigue and cold and disorientation. During the middle of the last night without power, when we were punchy and nearly psychotic, my wife and I were awakened in the middle of the night be this very bizarre animal vocalization outside out bedroom window. Later, we learned it was a pair of racoons mating. It's a very loud sound, something like the vocalizations that chimps make when agitated. We live 5 miles from the Birmingham Zoo. In my sleepy and semi-delirous state, I somehow imagined that the sound was baboons and I "reasoned" that in the chaos of the blizzard animals had escaped from the zoo. I can't explain why I thought that the sound was a band of crazed baboons roaming my neighborhood, but that's what came to my mind. I nudged my wife and said "WHAT IS THAT?" and she said, "I don't know, but it's definitely some kind of crazed primate roaming the neighborhood." So, there you go.

This reminds me of a poem I wrote a few months ago which I offer to you now:

http://www.dalewisely.com/animalcontrolrev/

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 8:36 am

Dale, I love that poem.

I'm inclined to think of it as a metaphor for the wild animal instincts we all contain and the unspoken apprehension of what would happen if they were all unleashed at once.

Best wishes,
Jerry

ScottStewart · Post by **ScottStewart** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 8:39 am

One of the cable news outlets just reported that the power outage was likely due to a home gorilla breeding mishap in a suburb of Cleveland.

burnsbyrne · Post by **burnsbyrne** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 9:55 am

I can categorically state that there are no home gorillas in Cleveland.
Mike

ScottStewart · Post by **ScottStewart** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 10:05 am

Mike, are you absolutely sure? I live just south of Akron, and I for one never travel in Cleveland when there's any kind of mist outside.

Rod Sprague · Post by **Rod Sprague** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 10:59 am

Rod Sprague wrote:I caused the blackout. I had to capture Amphenol and Tyvek working in deep cover in behalf of the Crystal People.
Rod

Through ambiguous sentence structure, I made it appear I might work for the Crystal People. I meant that Tyvek and Amphenol are working in deep cover in behalf of the Crystal People. They even post periodically as their under cover personas. Now I have to go do something about Klik and Klak of the house of Kartok.

Don’t worry about the Crystal People, they’ll just turn out to be a big pain in the long run, in less they start using time travel, in which case, all bets are off. If I told you any more, this would be one of those “now I have to kill you.” type of situations. Sorry.

Later! (From my subjective point of view, with the time travel and all)

Rod

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 11:04 am

Rod Sprague wrote:
Rod Sprague wrote:I caused the blackout. I had to capture Amphenol and Tyvek working in deep cover in behalf of the Crystal People.
Rod
Through ambiguous sentence structure, I made it appear I might work for the Crystal People. I meant that Tyvek and Amphenol are working in deep cover in behalf of the Crystal People. They even post periodically as their under cover personas.

Riiiiiight. And *cough* "Rod Sprague" *cough* would be which one?

Rod Sprague · Post by **Rod Sprague** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 1:30 pm

Grak!(sehlat sound, much like woof, meow or dude, means whatever context and inflection make it mean. I basically said “Dear People”)

OK, my real name is Verp Tlethl, I am an anthropomorphic lean 500 lb Grodean sehlat. I have 7-inch fangs and can eviscerate a human in a spit second with my retractable claws, but would only do so in the most extreme situations, as I have the sort of personality one would expect in a Labrador retriever with an IQ of 210 (which is why I like the simplicity of the whistle, but I also have great fondness for the lower pitched saxes). Johnny Viagra, being the son of a high ranking member of the Crystal People’s military will set off a chain of events that will eventually result in the radical liberalization of the Crystal People’s government. That will be in the Earth’s and everybody else’s best interests. It took me a lot of effort to get him that ship, like he was supposed to according to history, despite Tyvek’s and Amphenol’s best efforts to intercept him, both on and off world, before his little stunt. Keeping the shoulder-launched missile out of their “hands” was particularly tricky. Without the help of a lathe, a home gorilla breeding mishap, etc, the grid would have not have collapsed at all. That helped things along considerably.

Frankly, Nanohedron is not that common a Terran name, so who you really are is a good question, also.

I love you cute little humans and if I ever meet any of you personally, I will be sure to give you a big hug and lick your face!
Grak!
Captain Verp Tlethl #371845332

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 5:07 pm

Rod Sprague wrote:Frankly, Nanohedron is not that common a Terran name, so who you really are is a good question, also.

Greetings, Verp! Please allow me to continue this correspondence in English; I have no abilities in the sehlat, er, tongue. Interstellar security may also be an issue: Terran decryption specialists in tandem with their computers can be disconcertingly astute.

I would humbly suggest that who I am is a matter of record to the discerning. As to what I am, let me just say that my name comes from the Space-Elvish dialects, and denotes a theoretical hypogeometric structure. Yes, immortality is very boring.

BTW, didn't we meet at a cocktail party on Ganymede? You know, the one at the Big Bang Convention Hall where....hey! Wait a minute. I remember you. That was some pretty funky dancing you did for the ladies once you got lit up, and then you "marked your territory" all over the orchestra pit. I thought I'd die laughing. Dude, you made that party!

Grak, yourself.
N

ChrisLaughlin · Post by **ChrisLaughlin** » Sun Aug 17, 2003 2:03 pm

A very interesting read about the real source of the blackout:

http://www.buzzflash.com/analysis/03/08 ... ckout.html

IDAwHOa · Post by **IDAwHOa** » Sun Aug 17, 2003 2:48 pm

This is funny, really, if you think about it. For every policy or program or whatever that one party blames the other for delaying or halting, they themselves are responsible for delaying or halting all of the other policies or progams that are proposed.

No wonder our government is in a state of paralysis.

It does not really make sense for us to throw blame around. We just need to be able to elect responsible people to represent us. That is tought to do when those responsible people are also too smart to get into government!!!

ChrisLaughlin · Post by **ChrisLaughlin** » Sun Aug 17, 2003 2:59 pm

It's funny indeed, and quite true. The thing that is the funniest about this particular situation is that it was Bush himself who was responsable for halting the very sort of program he claims to have supported all along...
Maybe I'm just confused, but it seems like opposing the very thing you support and supporting the very thing you oppose isn't going to get you very far... unless, of course, you don't actually support it afterall.
But why would Bush, Cheney, or Ken Lay want to do something like that?

Chris

Post by **Nanohedron** » Sun Aug 17, 2003 3:19 pm

ChrisLaughlin wrote:But why would Bush, Cheney, or Ken Lay want to do something like that?
Chris

They are in thrall to the Crystal Peop<INTERCEPT////7351937/INTERCEPT.COMPLETED>