Dale denies responsibility for power outtage

glauber · Post by **glauber** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 9:02 am

WASHINGTON (AP): 50 million pairs of eyes turned north yesterday, as the authorities probed the causes of the largest blackout in the history of civilization. As the dark night progressed, more and more evidence seemed to point to a small town in Canada where the Chiff & Fipple discussion boards are hosted. One official with the National Power Authority, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that "the whole incident may have been caused by one off-topic thread gone tragically out of control".

Meanwhile, Chiff and Fipple denizen Dale "El" Wisely, cutting a debonair figure in tight lederhosen and bare hairy chest, released a terse statement stating simply: "I didn't do it!". Further attempts to contact the swashbuckling Internet personality were unsuccessfull.

The FBI released a partial portrait of Mr Wisely: :adminok: who's been on the run, suspected of harboring whistles of mass destruction.

IDAwHOa · Post by **IDAwHOa** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 9:16 am

I heard he was running to California to hide amidst the fiaco we are calling the recall of our govenor!

burnsbyrne · Post by **burnsbyrne** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 9:32 am

The power is back on here in Cleveland so I can now chronicle the tale of hardship and privation that 16 hours without electricity caused. I could not take the train home from work as is my wont. I had to walk a half mile to a busstop and transfer to another bus downtown. In all, my commute was extended by ONE WHOLE HOUR. I tell you, I was experiencing hardship and privation! Once I was home I had dinner (we have a gas stove) and played the whistle for an hour. Then I read out on the front porch until there was not enough light. Played whistle for another hour in the dark. Looked at stars (in Cleveland!) and actually saw a shooting star (in Cleveland!). Then I hung around for a while (I missed the re-run of CSI I'll have you know, and later, off to bed.

If that is not hardship and privation I don't know what is. That Wiley guy. He's behind this. I just know it! Either that or, as the ladies gossiping in the back of the bus yesterday evening decided, "It must be the Ay-rabs."

Mike

allezlesbleus · Post by **allezlesbleus** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 10:09 am

I knew it! It's all Dale's fault!!!

PC

Celtoid · Post by **Celtoid** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 10:31 am

I happen to know that it was Jerry Freeman who caused the power outage! So don't try to blame Dale. Jerry plugged in that antique lathe and it overloaded the Syracuse area grid. Then, in succession, like so many dominos, grids all over the east crumbled as each grid made a power grab at the next one. Fifty million folks without power, but just a lucky, lucky few out of power AND playing their whistles and looking at the stars. Mars is the closest it has been since Neanderthals walked the land, well worth checking out. Regretfully, our power came back on last night around midnight...well...until Jerry plugs in that lathe again.

kabili · Post by **kabili** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 2:26 pm

i live in florida, so i knew about the power outtage but it wasn't really much of a reality for me. the funny thing is, i'm new to the C&F forums and when i couldn't log on last night i (briefly) feared i had been excommunicated by purists for the offense of saying i wanted some sheet music to help me learn.

ah, paranoia!

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 2:46 pm

kabili wrote:i live in florida, so i knew about the power outtage but it wasn't really much of a reality for me. the funny thing is, i'm new to the C&F forums and when i couldn't log on last night i (briefly) feared i had been excommunicated by purists for the offense of saying i wanted some sheet music to help me learn.

ah, paranoia!

Well, I've not been excommunicated, so you're probably safe. Then again, of all my offences, using sheet music wasn't one of them.

herbivore12 · Post by **herbivore12** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 2:52 pm

At lunch today, I stopped for a sandwich at a little cafe in a nearby shopping center. Most of the folks waiting to order were talking about the Great Power Outage of 2003 effecting our friends back east. I heard this conversation (by the way, the geographic region in which this conversation takes place is just south of San Francisco, CA):

Lady 1: Isn't it weird to think that we knew about the power outage before the people in New York did?

Lady 2: How so? Why did we hear first?

Lady 1: Well, how could they find out, if their TVs can't work?

Lady 2: Oh, yes, I suppose so. . .

Apparently no one in New York would have noticed the outage until darkness fell, being such unobservant folk.

Oy. This sort of conversation explains a lot about current California politics.

Walden · Post by **Walden** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 3:05 pm

glauber wrote:The FBI released a partial portrait of Mr Wisely: :adminok: who's been on the run, suspected of harboring whistles of mass destruction.

He is neither an Infi-Dale nor a harborer of such weapons. I know, as I got it straight from the horse's mouth! Well, what's'isname said that what's'ername said that Rich said that there was no responsibility on the part of said American citizen. Or... maybe not... I'm not sure.

glauber · Post by **glauber** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 3:05 pm

kabili wrote:i live in florida, so i knew about the power outtage but it wasn't really much of a reality for me. the funny thing is, i'm new to the C&F forums and when i couldn't log on last night i (briefly) feared i had been excommunicated by purists for the offense of saying i wanted some sheet music to help me learn.

Sorry for telling you this, but you were excommunicated by purists for the reason you mention. Fortunately for you, the power outtage caused the excommunicator system to reboot, and all records were lost.

Daniel_Bingamon · Post by **Daniel_Bingamon** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 3:12 pm

I think that too many Chiff and Fipplers hit the submit button at the same time and the chips fell.

There's also the possibility that a high note played on a high-G whistle somewhere in Cleveland set off a cascade reaction bringing down the entire grid.

Finally, the news mentioned a problem with the software being used to control the grid, must have been a Windows XP glitch. Things continue to work in Cincinnati because we still use Windows 98 SE in Cincinnati. - In fact Mark Twain once said if the world was ending, go to Cincinnati, it'll won't happen there for 5 more years.

I like that joke about the TV, it reminds me of the lady who calls her daughter on the phone during a storm to warn her to not use the phone during a storm.

herbivore12 · Post by **herbivore12** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 3:37 pm

Daniel_Bingamon wrote: I like that joke about the TV, it reminds me of the lady who calls her daughter on the phone during a storm to warn her to not use the phone during a storm.

Sadly, I don't think she was joking. Seemed entirely earnest, and went on at some length about it.

I run into a lot of not-so-bright or very strange people in small cafes and sandwich shops. Once, a little girl grabbed a dolma off of my plate in a small Greek cafe, waved it around in the air while shouting, "Mom! I want one of these!", and put it back on my plate, where it rocked gently back and forth. I was stunned, and even more so when Mom replied, "Honey, that is *not* going to be enough; what else you want?" Little girl waved my food around in the air. and her mother didn't reprimand her.

Lordy.

kabili · Post by **kabili** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 5:34 pm

glauber wrote:Sorry for telling you this, but you were excommunicated by purists for the reason you mention. Fortunately for you, the power outtage caused the excommunicator system to reboot, and all records were lost.

whew! i've escaped their wrath, at least for a while. but at least i was trying to turn from the dark side: the reason i posted in the first place is that i wanted suggestions on how to learn to play without it. and i would say the devil made me do it (i.e., using that-which-must-not-be-named) in the first place, but i don't think referring to some very nice school band directors and especially a church orchestra director as the devil would be very nice.

Rod Sprague · Post by **Rod Sprague** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 11:39 pm

I caused the blackout. I had to capture Amphenol and Tyvek working in deep cover in behalf of the Crystal People. Long story, involving a solid synthetic diamond pennywhistle, a SWAT team brought in from the future and the de-assimilation Madguy.

Rod

Rod Sprague · Post by **Rod Sprague** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 11:55 pm

Tyvek was at it again? Dammit, now I have to go back to the future to find out from the bureau what I have to go do yesterday. Sorry about having to go cause the blackout yesterday, but I will probably have a good reason to cause it.

Rod

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Dale denies responsibility for power outtage

Dale denies responsibility for power outtage

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