A young woman was walking through the park,when a 'Flasher' leapt out of the bushes and exposed himself to her.
"OH - It's GRUESOME!"
She exclaimed.To which he replied; "LOOK again- It's grew some more!"
Disgusting, horrifying, mortifying joke...
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kevin m.
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The following joke is totally offensive,and I apologise profusely.
A young woman was walking through the park,when a 'Flasher' leapt out of the bushes and exposed himself to her.
"OH - It's GRUESOME!" She exclaimed.
To which he replied; "LOOK again- It's grew some more!"
A young woman was walking through the park,when a 'Flasher' leapt out of the bushes and exposed himself to her.
"OH - It's GRUESOME!"
She exclaimed.To which he replied; "LOOK again- It's grew some more!"
"I blame it on those Lead Fipples y'know."
Okay, I only know two Catholic jokes, but my Catholic friends laughed at both, so I hope this isn't any more offensive than saving Mom...
Two priests who were good friends finally got to take a vacation. They decided to go to the beaches of California. Well, not wanting to be recognized as priests, they left the clerical collars at home and bought bermuda shorts and loud shirts.
First day on the beach, they are enjoying the sun, the relaxation, and so on. Then a shapely blonde, wearing only the bottom half of a bikini walks by. They may be celibate, but a man notices this sort of scenery. She then addresses them both, saying "Good afternoon, Father. Good afternoon Father" to each in his turn.
They are startled to have been found out. So, they buy even more outlandish outfits for the next, just as un-priestly as they can find.
They are on the beach again when the same blonde, in the same outfit, walks past again, saying "good afternoon, Father" to each. One of them can't stand it and says "pardon me, miss. We ARE priests, and we are not ashamed of the fact, but how did you know?"
To which she replied "Father! Don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!"
Um, maybe this one should be stamped out, too. I'll save the other one for a different venue.
-Patrick
Two priests who were good friends finally got to take a vacation. They decided to go to the beaches of California. Well, not wanting to be recognized as priests, they left the clerical collars at home and bought bermuda shorts and loud shirts.
First day on the beach, they are enjoying the sun, the relaxation, and so on. Then a shapely blonde, wearing only the bottom half of a bikini walks by. They may be celibate, but a man notices this sort of scenery. She then addresses them both, saying "Good afternoon, Father. Good afternoon Father" to each in his turn.
They are startled to have been found out. So, they buy even more outlandish outfits for the next, just as un-priestly as they can find.
They are on the beach again when the same blonde, in the same outfit, walks past again, saying "good afternoon, Father" to each. One of them can't stand it and says "pardon me, miss. We ARE priests, and we are not ashamed of the fact, but how did you know?"
To which she replied "Father! Don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!"
Um, maybe this one should be stamped out, too. I'll save the other one for a different venue.
-Patrick
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Flyingcursor
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- Tell us something.: This is the first sentence. This is the second of the recommended sentences intended to thwart spam its. This is a third, bonus sentence!
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Nanohedron
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Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps. - Location: Lefse country
OK here's a tasteless Jewish joke.
A man goes into the restroom and
is relieving himself. He says to the fellow
at the next urinal:
Say, do you go to the synagogue over on fourth
street?
Why, yes
Rabbi Weiss was there when you were a kid,
right?
How did you know?
He cuts on a slant and you're peeing on my leg!
A man goes into the restroom and
is relieving himself. He says to the fellow
at the next urinal:
Say, do you go to the synagogue over on fourth
street?
Why, yes
Rabbi Weiss was there when you were a kid,
right?
How did you know?
He cuts on a slant and you're peeing on my leg!
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Nanohedron
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Oh, yeah: also a mod here, not a spammer. A matter of opinion, perhaps. - Location: Lefse country
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chas
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Some more men's room humor. A guy wants to get his wife something REALLY special for their fifth wedding anniversary, so he gets her name tattooed on his penis. He goes home, all proud of his idea, and tells his wife as soon as he's through the door. The immediately go to the bedroom. She notices something: "I thought you got my name tattooed, but this only says Wy. Did the tattoo artist get tired or something?"
"No, he told me it would read Wendy when it's erect." Well it did, and it was such a success that they decided to go to Jamaica and renew their vows.
Their plane touched down, and the husband had to pee. He noticed the guy at the next urinal also had a tattoo. "Is your wife's name Wendy?" he asked.
"Whatchu talkin' 'bout," was the confused reply.
"Well I saw your penis says Wy, and I thought when it was erect it would say Wendy like mine."
"No, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica, Have a Good Day.'"
"No, he told me it would read Wendy when it's erect." Well it did, and it was such a success that they decided to go to Jamaica and renew their vows.
Their plane touched down, and the husband had to pee. He noticed the guy at the next urinal also had a tattoo. "Is your wife's name Wendy?" he asked.
"Whatchu talkin' 'bout," was the confused reply.
"Well I saw your penis says Wy, and I thought when it was erect it would say Wendy like mine."
"No, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica, Have a Good Day.'"
Charlie
Whorfin Woods
"Our work puts heavy metal where it belongs -- as a music genre and not a pollutant in drinking water." -- Prof Ali Miserez.
Whorfin Woods
"Our work puts heavy metal where it belongs -- as a music genre and not a pollutant in drinking water." -- Prof Ali Miserez.
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RoyalGoldReps
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OK, my name isn't Pam, but I am topless.
We're supposed to tell tasteless, bad jokes.
The following are merely tasteless.
A man goes to a physician; he's suffering terribly
from headaches.
'There's only one cure,' the doctor says: 'Castration.'
'Never!' The man flees but returns next week.
'I can't stand the pain; do it!'
The doctor does. As the man is preparing to
leave, the doctor says:
'Mr. Smith, you mustn't let yourself
get depressed. As soon as you leave my office,
I want you to buy yourself a whole new suit of
clothes.'
Sure enough, just down the block the man finds
a men's clothing store. He goes in.
'I want a whole new suit of clothes!'
'I've been in this business for 47 years,'
the salesman says. 'I can tell your size just by
looking at you. For instance, hat size....7 1/4'
'Why that's remarkable! My hat size is indeed
7 1/4.'
'Shirt, size 15 1/2 neck, 32 cuff.'
'Yes, yes that's right!'
'Medium undershirt. Underpants....size 34.'
'Well, there I'm afraid I must differ with you.
I always take size 30 underpants.'
The old salesman walks closer, looks
around, then says to the man quietly:
'Listen. For you, size 30 underpants is too
small. It will put pressure on your testicles
and give you terrible headaches!'
I take this to be an advertisement for holistic
medicine.
Another man goes to a tailor to get a new
suit. When it's finished, it doesn't seem to fit.
It's baggy and lumpy.
'No problem!' the tailor explains. 'You just have to
learn how to wear it. Push out your left hip.
Good. Now stick out you right shoulder...bend
your elbow.... There. It looks like a million
bucks.'
As the man leaves the store and makes his
way down the street, he passes two middle-aged
ladies. After he's gone one of them
says:
'Isn't it a pity about that poor man?'
'Yes,' the other responds. 'But didn't his suit
fit him beautifully!'
I don't know quite what this one means, but surely
it means something important.
Last tasteless joke.
A man sits down on the bus next to a little
man.
'You smell like sh*t!' he says.
'Elephant sh*t,' the little man answers.
'How do you manage to get covered in
elephant sh*t?'
'I work for the circus. When they have the big parade
through the city, I follow the elephants.
I sweep up their droppings with a broom and a little pan.'
'How much do you get paid?'
'50 cents an hour.'
'You get covered with elephant sh*t
every day for 50 cents an hour? Why don't
you find another job?'
'What!' the little man exclaims. 'And give up show biz?"
We're supposed to tell tasteless, bad jokes.
The following are merely tasteless.
A man goes to a physician; he's suffering terribly
from headaches.
'There's only one cure,' the doctor says: 'Castration.'
'Never!' The man flees but returns next week.
'I can't stand the pain; do it!'
The doctor does. As the man is preparing to
leave, the doctor says:
'Mr. Smith, you mustn't let yourself
get depressed. As soon as you leave my office,
I want you to buy yourself a whole new suit of
clothes.'
Sure enough, just down the block the man finds
a men's clothing store. He goes in.
'I want a whole new suit of clothes!'
'I've been in this business for 47 years,'
the salesman says. 'I can tell your size just by
looking at you. For instance, hat size....7 1/4'
'Why that's remarkable! My hat size is indeed
7 1/4.'
'Shirt, size 15 1/2 neck, 32 cuff.'
'Yes, yes that's right!'
'Medium undershirt. Underpants....size 34.'
'Well, there I'm afraid I must differ with you.
I always take size 30 underpants.'
The old salesman walks closer, looks
around, then says to the man quietly:
'Listen. For you, size 30 underpants is too
small. It will put pressure on your testicles
and give you terrible headaches!'
I take this to be an advertisement for holistic
medicine.
Another man goes to a tailor to get a new
suit. When it's finished, it doesn't seem to fit.
It's baggy and lumpy.
'No problem!' the tailor explains. 'You just have to
learn how to wear it. Push out your left hip.
Good. Now stick out you right shoulder...bend
your elbow.... There. It looks like a million
bucks.'
As the man leaves the store and makes his
way down the street, he passes two middle-aged
ladies. After he's gone one of them
says:
'Isn't it a pity about that poor man?'
'Yes,' the other responds. 'But didn't his suit
fit him beautifully!'
I don't know quite what this one means, but surely
it means something important.
Last tasteless joke.
A man sits down on the bus next to a little
man.
'You smell like sh*t!' he says.
'Elephant sh*t,' the little man answers.
'How do you manage to get covered in
elephant sh*t?'
'I work for the circus. When they have the big parade
through the city, I follow the elephants.
I sweep up their droppings with a broom and a little pan.'
'How much do you get paid?'
'50 cents an hour.'
'You get covered with elephant sh*t
every day for 50 cents an hour? Why don't
you find another job?'
'What!' the little man exclaims. 'And give up show biz?"