OT: I'm sorry.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Thu May 01, 2003 1:50 am

I'm going to try to stay offline a few days, mabey longer, and I have reasons to believe it will work this time, because I'm in a better state of mind (don't laugh

). But I've been wanting to say some things and I think now is good time to do it.

To all the people I blasted immoral, indecent, blasphemous, or iherently bad people....sadly, the list is long. I remember about 5 people in particular over the course of 2 months, covering things from leather to bones to milk to whatever, I'm sorry.

To whomever I've scared with sudden bursts of unpredictability, I'm sorry because they scare me, too. I think I started out normally then all of a sudeen went crazy. It's embarrasing to me and has to be akward for you. I'm sorry.

To everybody in chat that I barged in with all the drama a few nights, I'm sorry.

To those I misrepresented myself to in private messages and otherwise. Truth is I think you have to know yourself to misrepresent yourself, and I don't honestly think I know myself at all. I am trying. I'm sorry.

I could name names but that makes me feel weird for whatever reason.

To everybody who has to put up with my 350 OT posts per day that even I don't like, I'm also sorry. Those posts will at least go down dramatically. I promise.

I don't want this post to ramble on so I'll just stop there.

*takes a deep breath*

Martin Milner · Post by **Martin Milner** » Thu May 01, 2003 2:26 am

Hi Cran,

Maybe I've missed a storm but I've never seen you be rude or aggressive towards anybody on C&F.

If you're going through a personal rough patch I hope it's short, because I've always enjoyed your presence on this board and I'll miss you if you stop posting.

take care, banish your demons, and please come back soon!

Bran · Post by **Bran** » Thu May 01, 2003 2:41 am

Hey.
I new you were not your self, but its cool anyway

who are we to say
whats good or bad.

Keep posting

rbm · Post by **rbm** » Thu May 01, 2003 2:56 am

Cran,

some of your posts have made me smile - thanks

and some have got my goat!

but thats what this is about.

take care, take a deep breath and come back soon.

Richard.

Jerry Freeman · Post by **Jerry Freeman** » Thu May 01, 2003 4:55 am

Cranberry,

I hope and pray that you discover sooner, and not later, what a good and worthy person you really are.

I, for one, enjoy ALL your posts very much. You're intelligent, creative, funny, considerate and honest. Very definitely an all around good soul.

I've never seen a mean-spirited word you've ever written on this board. This includes when you're writing passionately about something you believe in and trying to pursuade others to change our behaviors. Even then, your words do not come across as personally hurtful -- only that you believe strongly in something on moral grounds.

I can assure you that you have many friends and fans on this board who, like me, very much enjoy your presence here.

Best wishes,
Jerry

boyd · Post by **boyd** » Thu May 01, 2003 5:18 am

...well, I like the way your pic [avatar?] keeps changing, Cranberry...really cool

Boyd
www.strathspeyinmay.com

Flyingcursor · Post by **Flyingcursor** » Thu May 01, 2003 5:27 am

Actually I've always enjoyed reading your posts. Never a dull moment.
And the cycle of avatars is like Christmas every day!

peeplj · Post by **peeplj** » Thu May 01, 2003 6:22 am

I wish you the very best, and I hope you can put to rest whatever issues trouble you.

I don't know what faith you are (if any), and it doesn't matter to me, but I would like to wish you an ancient benediction:

Blessed Be.

By which I mean,

1. Find those things in your life which strengthen and nurture you, the real you;

2. Acknowledge and name them often, and

3. Allow yourself and your life to be sustained and improved by them.

The third, I think, is the real key: we all have those things in our lives which are wonderful, and the greatest of these are those who care for us and love us, but so often we turn a blind eye to these things and don't allow them to touch us, inside, where it matters. You have to want to be blessed--no external power can force it on you.

So Blessed Be, and return soon.

--James

CHIFF FIPPLE · Post by **CHIFF FIPPLE** » Thu May 01, 2003 6:52 am

There are a few people on this board, who should say sorry.
Your not one of them
Best
Stacey

jim stone · Post by **jim stone** » Thu May 01, 2003 7:08 am

Yes, you seem a nice person. Best

janice · Post by **janice** » Thu May 01, 2003 7:34 am

It's not just anybody that can be an ornament!

trisha · Post by **trisha** » Thu May 01, 2003 7:55 am

Hey Cranberry - it is easy to see the world through smog-tinted glasses. Turn off the TV, don't read the newspapers, take time to see the real beauty in the world. Winter's over.

Come back soon, I still can't get an atavar...use PMs if you wish, but don't vanish!

Trisha

pthouron · Post by **pthouron** » Thu May 01, 2003 8:00 am

Good morning Cran (well, here anyway...)
I know I am fairly new to the Board, but I can't say I have seen any posts of yours that were offensive in any way... Matter of fact, when I wrote the post about how nice and helpful this community is, you were one of the people I particularly had in mind..
Come back soon!

Zubivka · Post by **Zubivka** » Thu May 01, 2003 8:05 am

Yes, you ARE unpredictable, though not as much as your avatars
--and thank gods (or belief versa, depending on your vices).

The world is full of quite predictable people, alas...

So please keep posting
Or lurk if you feel more comfy,
but only if you keep renewing your little,
unprepictable
icon.

markv · Post by **markv** » Thu May 01, 2003 8:19 am

Cranberry,

I think I may be one of the 5 or so based on the bone discussion a while back. Please know that I was not offended in any way by that discussion and it turned into a good discussion of animal rights.

I can understand the lost feeling, the periods of doubt about what you believe, what you can change, your place in the big picture... We all go through that. The only way you can find your way is to learn as much as you can and have a core of supportive people who understand what you are going through and talk about it.

I don't pretend to know all about you or even what may be going on in your life but there are some very bright, knowledgeable people on this board who may help you find a path you can take through this grand adventure that we call life.

Keep jumping in and contributing just the way you are (as long as it doesn't cause you any more wrist problems). I've always enjoyed your posts and in many cases they have been the springboard for some very thoughtfull and meaningfull discussions of which you have been an integral part. It forces the rest of us to really think about what we believe, how we can change, our place in the big picture.

I don't think you need to apologize for anything. If you think others don't agree blow them a big mental raspberry and take a walk outside and listen to the wind in the trees, the songs of the birds and smile.

Wish you all the best the world has to offer,

Mark V.